Hit that Glen Miller track (well I told you I was old, and I love his music)
Just a quicky.
For the last two nights I have fallen asleep in the light from a full moon shining into my bedroom window. And what a light, so clear to clean so sharp so soft. The perfect shape of a moon is forever changing, I have seen huge moons in bright orange, I have laid on beaches in Greece and watched the moon and stars I am never failed to be inspired by 'Her' glory.
I hope that the families of the victims of 9/11 Twin Towers are able to rest on this 5th anniversary in the light of a moon where ever they may be. My hero is Jay Janus captain of Rig 6 who was trapped in the towers and saved by being in stair well 'B' because he and his crew stopped to help Josephine Miller. To survive this attack, is beyond words. Perhaps the perfect Glen Miller piece for him is 'American Patrol' an all time favourite of mine.
I send my love to the lost, their families and the surviors. Granny
Friday, September 08, 2006
GONE A ROMIN
Got you thinking, what is the girl on about? Well aromatherapy, thats what. I had my first session yesterday at the Macmillan Centre in Queen Marys Sidcup. Now let me tell you that have a wonderful garden to sit in, with shade and trees and flowers. I noticed a climbing flower with a huge bell shape in the prettiest shade of light blue, so delicate and it just lit up my day. it is a wonderful place to sit and read which I did prior to my treatment. Susie was the therapist and very nice. The experience was amazing, my mixture was bergermont and lavender (my favourite - I use these at home) and the hand massage was so relaxing but the effect afterwards was one of rejuvenated joints etc. The two arms were however complete different in feel. My right was - relaxing my left was warm bordering on hot and freed my arm up perfectly. I had intended for the experience to allow me to forget for a hour that I had breast cancer and to concentrate on me rather than 'it' if you see what I mean. The process was accomapnied by soft musical, sea and sea bird sounds.Again I love this, I am a sucker for the sea, which I why I can not wait to get back to Ventnor to walk along the front and hear the sea.
Was it worth it, oh yes.
PS those dragon flies have been back - it is like watching Spitfire aces catching the late evening flies who dare to be about.
Was it worth it, oh yes.
PS those dragon flies have been back - it is like watching Spitfire aces catching the late evening flies who dare to be about.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
SUPPORT PENNY DEACON
My mother lives in the Southampton area and read in the Daily Echo about Penny Deacon. She like me is a police officer. She had her operation in July to remove her breast cancer lump. On the 16th September 2006 she in company with 15 colleagues is going to undertake a 60 mile challenge (by cycle) to raise money for the Chemo unit at St Anne's Hosptial Newport. Anyone who knows me knows that the Isle of Wight is my dream home/place to visit (Ventnor) so please try and help my colleague reach her target. This can be done by visiting www.justgiving.com/pennydeacon There are a number of entries on the web, ie interviews with Penny etc.
I am so not a bike rider, I would like to get a fashion show - all full on glamour, in aid of Breast Cancer research - with me modeling of course and any other 'surviour' who wants to hit the catwalk. Lots of Bling, lots of confidence, lots of power and perhaps even a record in the charts!!!!!!
I note that Penny's Chief Superintendent is female, and I will be asking her has I will other senior women across the country to join me in making sure that the women employed in the police family are made fully aware of the issues and debates and need to check ourselves. As a member of the Commissioner's Women's Focus group I do have access to key officials and coleagues. This could be such a postive thing, because if you think about in terms of research there is no better fixed cross section of women anywhere. As an Historian of women in the service, I have an idea from looking at Metropolitan Police Women Service records how many women across the years have been diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Of course it is not just women who get Breast Cancer men can to. What a great opportunity to increase the knowledge of the disease lets have health pages with links across the Constabulary web pages.
SUPPORT PENNY PLEASE. THANK YOU. Love Granny
I am so not a bike rider, I would like to get a fashion show - all full on glamour, in aid of Breast Cancer research - with me modeling of course and any other 'surviour' who wants to hit the catwalk. Lots of Bling, lots of confidence, lots of power and perhaps even a record in the charts!!!!!!
I note that Penny's Chief Superintendent is female, and I will be asking her has I will other senior women across the country to join me in making sure that the women employed in the police family are made fully aware of the issues and debates and need to check ourselves. As a member of the Commissioner's Women's Focus group I do have access to key officials and coleagues. This could be such a postive thing, because if you think about in terms of research there is no better fixed cross section of women anywhere. As an Historian of women in the service, I have an idea from looking at Metropolitan Police Women Service records how many women across the years have been diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Of course it is not just women who get Breast Cancer men can to. What a great opportunity to increase the knowledge of the disease lets have health pages with links across the Constabulary web pages.
SUPPORT PENNY PLEASE. THANK YOU. Love Granny
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
A FASHION THING
The October Glamour Mag is out with a very good article on Breast Cancer victims who are under 50 - get reading.
Fashion is very much my thing as you know. Well this seasons Leggings with dresses or jumpers is devine. Thick tights, mentioned by me before, but essential. Comfortable elegent and warm, with a hint of sex underneath. Yes.
Granny loves yer.
Fashion is very much my thing as you know. Well this seasons Leggings with dresses or jumpers is devine. Thick tights, mentioned by me before, but essential. Comfortable elegent and warm, with a hint of sex underneath. Yes.
Granny loves yer.
MICK THE FARMER
It's Wednesday and a week since the last chemo, I feel much better today.
Mick started his new job yesterday at the organic farm shop. His family were Sussex farmers and had pigs. Some of the property is still in the family. He wants to get back to his roots, and away from the dry drone of his thrity plus year career. It is a challenge, he said that working a till his harder than it looks, but he has lots of ladies to help him, he will be in his element. Better is the challenge to the mind and body, being outside and close to the growing of things rather than the 'shop' culture that we have. We will benefit as well from getting nice fresh meat and veg. He will be able to cycle to work so he could also get really fit.
Today, and I am really trying not to make this a - diary blog, I visted Erith Deep Water Wharf, wlaking out along the really nice pier, with plenty of space, seats and it was clean. There were people sitting, eating, fishing and walking. Mums with their children and people having lunch away from their desk. Why can't Erith shake off it's end of the road feel? The sun was lovely and the water interesting in it's subtle changes of current and ripples caused by the wind. It is rather more industrial in aspect that perhaps the classic upper Thames, however this is the place to watch the life on the river move up and down.. I wonder why no one has thought of building a Yacht Marina here, to bring new people here. It could open the water front to cafes and shops.
There is a lot of new housing here, I particularly like one of the retirement developments, for me it would be an ideal spot with my balcony over the river and sitting in the evening with a glass of chilled Pinot Grigo watching the water and sea birds. I know that the borough is trying to rejenerate the area, but they lack purpose and direction, you need housing - of course, but also a river front area that is attractive with things to do. I have noted that the Running Horses, the Cross Keys and the White Hart very close to this area have made an effort to smarten up. What is needed is good food, good wine and good music. The White Hart has been very very clever and had a wonderful Thames Barge mural painted on its wall, I like this - perhaps they could make more of their lovely garden area down to the river. The older population that lives quite close could be a good customer source if they got away from the spit and sawdust type drinkers, the rowdy noisy and boring drinkers who inhabit Erith. The borough wants to bin the Running Horses, that used to have a carvery.
The areas biggest mistake was it's redevelopment of the shopping area, it went for two story concrete, please please why did you not look at the lay of the area, make it like it was in decades past with small shops. We have a Matalan, a Peacocks and one Select shop there is also a Wilkinsons, a Woolworths and a betting shop/ No imagination. Mostly what you see is dreary security guards who keep out the yob element. Yes perhaps employment is important but on the face of it these shops find it hard to hier staff. The Morrison's restaruant, does a roaring trade, most days breakfast and lunch. People come here for Sunday Lunch - you know a proper roast! Now if people are entised there to eat then why not to other proper food venues. Please no more Macdonalds or Burger King ( we have them as well) That is all there is in the evening. The borough even kicked out the market, which I liked to shop in. So why not a Farmers Market on Sundays?
Erith might seem like the end of the world but it has has railway station, which means people other than car drivers or locals could get here if there was something more than Morrisons. For god sake you built a huge road here, now do something with the town.There is a museum that is so much in need of reinvention that it is practically criminal to leave it. There is a lot of history in this area - what we need here is a historical mastermind. We even have a theater, yes a real live place for plays, THE ERITH PLAYHOUSE (it has a web site which mentions the lack of restaurants) £6 a ticket!!!!!!!. Surely this means something more than bland benality and medocre ideas could flourish here. VITALITY AND LIFE come on ERITH.
We need some dynamism with a heart here not stuffy political quick fixes.
Love Granny
Mick started his new job yesterday at the organic farm shop. His family were Sussex farmers and had pigs. Some of the property is still in the family. He wants to get back to his roots, and away from the dry drone of his thrity plus year career. It is a challenge, he said that working a till his harder than it looks, but he has lots of ladies to help him, he will be in his element. Better is the challenge to the mind and body, being outside and close to the growing of things rather than the 'shop' culture that we have. We will benefit as well from getting nice fresh meat and veg. He will be able to cycle to work so he could also get really fit.
Today, and I am really trying not to make this a - diary blog, I visted Erith Deep Water Wharf, wlaking out along the really nice pier, with plenty of space, seats and it was clean. There were people sitting, eating, fishing and walking. Mums with their children and people having lunch away from their desk. Why can't Erith shake off it's end of the road feel? The sun was lovely and the water interesting in it's subtle changes of current and ripples caused by the wind. It is rather more industrial in aspect that perhaps the classic upper Thames, however this is the place to watch the life on the river move up and down.. I wonder why no one has thought of building a Yacht Marina here, to bring new people here. It could open the water front to cafes and shops.
There is a lot of new housing here, I particularly like one of the retirement developments, for me it would be an ideal spot with my balcony over the river and sitting in the evening with a glass of chilled Pinot Grigo watching the water and sea birds. I know that the borough is trying to rejenerate the area, but they lack purpose and direction, you need housing - of course, but also a river front area that is attractive with things to do. I have noted that the Running Horses, the Cross Keys and the White Hart very close to this area have made an effort to smarten up. What is needed is good food, good wine and good music. The White Hart has been very very clever and had a wonderful Thames Barge mural painted on its wall, I like this - perhaps they could make more of their lovely garden area down to the river. The older population that lives quite close could be a good customer source if they got away from the spit and sawdust type drinkers, the rowdy noisy and boring drinkers who inhabit Erith. The borough wants to bin the Running Horses, that used to have a carvery.
The areas biggest mistake was it's redevelopment of the shopping area, it went for two story concrete, please please why did you not look at the lay of the area, make it like it was in decades past with small shops. We have a Matalan, a Peacocks and one Select shop there is also a Wilkinsons, a Woolworths and a betting shop/ No imagination. Mostly what you see is dreary security guards who keep out the yob element. Yes perhaps employment is important but on the face of it these shops find it hard to hier staff. The Morrison's restaruant, does a roaring trade, most days breakfast and lunch. People come here for Sunday Lunch - you know a proper roast! Now if people are entised there to eat then why not to other proper food venues. Please no more Macdonalds or Burger King ( we have them as well) That is all there is in the evening. The borough even kicked out the market, which I liked to shop in. So why not a Farmers Market on Sundays?
Erith might seem like the end of the world but it has has railway station, which means people other than car drivers or locals could get here if there was something more than Morrisons. For god sake you built a huge road here, now do something with the town.There is a museum that is so much in need of reinvention that it is practically criminal to leave it. There is a lot of history in this area - what we need here is a historical mastermind. We even have a theater, yes a real live place for plays, THE ERITH PLAYHOUSE (it has a web site which mentions the lack of restaurants) £6 a ticket!!!!!!!. Surely this means something more than bland benality and medocre ideas could flourish here. VITALITY AND LIFE come on ERITH.
We need some dynamism with a heart here not stuffy political quick fixes.
Love Granny
Monday, September 04, 2006
STILL FEELING TIRED
Yes, I must report that I remain a little off kilter, more than a little tired and slow. I wish I could whizz about like normal. I hope to try and make an excersion tomorrow but we will see.
I have become a daytime TV viewer, well mostly cable not regular TV. This really annoys Mick, since I like all the 'tec' and 'cop' shows. I have been reading some good books, mostly about history, and it really makes me wonder why 'historians' are so ghettoised behind their theories.
Some sad news about Steve Irwin, death by Stingray sounds like a plot and not reality! still Aussie land is very shocked and so are his family and fans.
My heart goes out to the RAF families in Kinloss, so many good and professional men, lost to their families and friends. I pray for them all. Also I pray for the soldier and marine, what is this silly world coming to. DRUGS, RELIGION AND POWER (THREE THINGS, SAME DEAL) The three kings of destruction absolutely linked by money.
Anyway love and peace, granny.
I have become a daytime TV viewer, well mostly cable not regular TV. This really annoys Mick, since I like all the 'tec' and 'cop' shows. I have been reading some good books, mostly about history, and it really makes me wonder why 'historians' are so ghettoised behind their theories.
Some sad news about Steve Irwin, death by Stingray sounds like a plot and not reality! still Aussie land is very shocked and so are his family and fans.
My heart goes out to the RAF families in Kinloss, so many good and professional men, lost to their families and friends. I pray for them all. Also I pray for the soldier and marine, what is this silly world coming to. DRUGS, RELIGION AND POWER (THREE THINGS, SAME DEAL) The three kings of destruction absolutely linked by money.
Anyway love and peace, granny.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
IN SUPPORT OF MOLLY CAMPBELL.
This young lady was feared abducted by her father and taken to Parkistan. This appears not to be the case. I feel sorry for the mother, who seems very disturbed. I do not think it was wise to follow the route she took in moving her daughter to such a remote place where she would clearly feel isolated. There is clearly much that has happened between Mother and Father but they have several children and this must be their first priority not their own animosity. The older children where in a position to make a choice. But what choice did the father give the mother was she made to conform against her will which has led to this situation.
Molly does not appear to have been happy, or at least she was trying to be for her mother sake. This is not her responsibility, her mother must not draw her daughter into her own depression. You know that I do not agree with the way women are treated in relation to forced marriages at any age, but perhaps this is not going to happen in this case. I do feel Molly should be listened to and that both Mum and Dad should make this possible so Molly can have a relationship with her all members of her family. But she is not and I repeat not their property. No pressure should be brought to bear on her, she must be handled with care and love. The one thing I have concern for is that being forced to live in one place or another against her will could lead to a lifetime of distress even if her parents think one or the other cultural background is at fault. No one should impose their will on a child.
Molly has to be bridge between two cultures, a thing that an increasing number of children are required to do, not easy when you love both your parents. Divorce and seperation are bad enough for any child but this bridge is one often too hard to cross.
Love to Molly, form Granny
Molly does not appear to have been happy, or at least she was trying to be for her mother sake. This is not her responsibility, her mother must not draw her daughter into her own depression. You know that I do not agree with the way women are treated in relation to forced marriages at any age, but perhaps this is not going to happen in this case. I do feel Molly should be listened to and that both Mum and Dad should make this possible so Molly can have a relationship with her all members of her family. But she is not and I repeat not their property. No pressure should be brought to bear on her, she must be handled with care and love. The one thing I have concern for is that being forced to live in one place or another against her will could lead to a lifetime of distress even if her parents think one or the other cultural background is at fault. No one should impose their will on a child.
Molly has to be bridge between two cultures, a thing that an increasing number of children are required to do, not easy when you love both your parents. Divorce and seperation are bad enough for any child but this bridge is one often too hard to cross.
Love to Molly, form Granny
CRASHING INTO A WALL
When I was seriously depressed in the past, I have tried to describe the feeling to people. I tell them it is much like crashing into a wall, you hit it hard, you can not get over, around or under it (so no limboing) You come to a dead stop nothing about you works, not your head nor you heart. I was lucky that I knew how to access help, I knew where to go sadly many others don't. It is a struggle to come to terms with what causes your depression and a realisation that some of it is down to you yourself - not an easy admission. Some is down to others and their behaviour and some to environmental or outside situations. This may be how your employers deal with you for example. One of my biggest helps as if you had not guessed is writing down they way I feel about things. Some was even written as poetry, read or painted but a great deal was done by talking to my counsellor who was brilliant. You can defeat the wall by picking at the mortar that holds the bricks together, dislodge the first brick and the way beomes clearer, until you can climb through. Tiny steps one day at a time, focus and breath.
OK so I have hit a bit of a mid-chemo wall this time round, mostly huge fatigue which is one of the key side effects, so no real surprise, but I do feel brighter today.
It is those little moments that matter, like yesterday while standing in the patio door, along came the biggest Dragonfly I had ever seen, with a much smaller mate. They flew around for a long time almost flying at me and into the house. Mick told me to be careful since it the Dragonfly got stressed by being inside it would die immediately. So I carefully closed the door, and just watched this amasing thing flying around the patio, it was a beautiful blue, and it flew so fast yet its wings seemed hardly to move dispite which I did get some idea of how they operate. It was drawn to my neigbours pond and more than a few have been similarly attracted.
Another great moment last week was when I saw 'Our' Woodpecker in the big fir tree, Walking!!! underneath the branch and then climbing up the trunk. This is according to the book, what they do so. This is not a big bird compared to the Woodpigeon and Magpies that share the tree but it's claws and beak are rather large and very strong. What we miss when we don't stop to look is the reason many of us take the wrong road.
See it is the small things that matter.
Love Granny
OK so I have hit a bit of a mid-chemo wall this time round, mostly huge fatigue which is one of the key side effects, so no real surprise, but I do feel brighter today.
It is those little moments that matter, like yesterday while standing in the patio door, along came the biggest Dragonfly I had ever seen, with a much smaller mate. They flew around for a long time almost flying at me and into the house. Mick told me to be careful since it the Dragonfly got stressed by being inside it would die immediately. So I carefully closed the door, and just watched this amasing thing flying around the patio, it was a beautiful blue, and it flew so fast yet its wings seemed hardly to move dispite which I did get some idea of how they operate. It was drawn to my neigbours pond and more than a few have been similarly attracted.
Another great moment last week was when I saw 'Our' Woodpecker in the big fir tree, Walking!!! underneath the branch and then climbing up the trunk. This is according to the book, what they do so. This is not a big bird compared to the Woodpigeon and Magpies that share the tree but it's claws and beak are rather large and very strong. What we miss when we don't stop to look is the reason many of us take the wrong road.
See it is the small things that matter.
Love Granny
Thursday, August 31, 2006
DAY AFTER CHEMO.
Yesterday after the chemo, late afternoon I was not feeling so well. I was really very tired, cold and miserable. I am worried about the effect the steroids will have on my body in terms of weight gain especially around my middle. Not to bad night sleep, so feel somewhat better today. It is only 11.30am.
Love Granny
Love Granny
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
SPEAKING OF FASHION?
The key fashion item of this season appears to be the white shirt, but hey it never went away really. Nothing beats the clean white shirt for effect, there are some super ones on the high street. Selection is important crisp and neat or frilly and linen. Looks great with jeans, but must be clean, red wine stains are a NO.
According to You magazine in the Mail on Sunday 27/08/2006 Wallis has been reborn, a great shop that I have always liked so if even better I shall make a special trip to see if it lives up to the hype. Still this shop can be on the expensive side.
Yesterday I popped into Sidcup for my pre chemo blood test and stopped in at Woolworths, well really this takes the biscuit. The lady in front of me was being served (half heartedly) by one member of staff while a rather younger member regailed us all (by accident) about her torrid dream, its odd references to hating her mother, her father drowning, her feeling of low self esteem Blah Blah Blah, not sure she had been drugged or was drunk, she did not stop for breath. Her colleague moved on to me and served me in the same half hearted fashion while listening to this drivel and offering worlds of wisdom to this - wreck. She barely batted an eyelid in referrence to me. Is this true multi tasking? shop assistant and councellor all in one deal, cheap sessions at the counter!!!!! Actually this is not what I call customer service. One member of staff who appeared less that capable of managing her life distracting a second member of staff. The cruncher was when said patient said "I really don't think I am being listened to" oh really, I beg to differ.
It may seem that I have been a little hard, the girl clearly needed help, but not on the shop floor in the presence and hearing of customers. There is a time and place, her friend would be wise to advise this young person to seek professional help.
One grumpy old granny sends her love.XXXX
According to You magazine in the Mail on Sunday 27/08/2006 Wallis has been reborn, a great shop that I have always liked so if even better I shall make a special trip to see if it lives up to the hype. Still this shop can be on the expensive side.
Yesterday I popped into Sidcup for my pre chemo blood test and stopped in at Woolworths, well really this takes the biscuit. The lady in front of me was being served (half heartedly) by one member of staff while a rather younger member regailed us all (by accident) about her torrid dream, its odd references to hating her mother, her father drowning, her feeling of low self esteem Blah Blah Blah, not sure she had been drugged or was drunk, she did not stop for breath. Her colleague moved on to me and served me in the same half hearted fashion while listening to this drivel and offering worlds of wisdom to this - wreck. She barely batted an eyelid in referrence to me. Is this true multi tasking? shop assistant and councellor all in one deal, cheap sessions at the counter!!!!! Actually this is not what I call customer service. One member of staff who appeared less that capable of managing her life distracting a second member of staff. The cruncher was when said patient said "I really don't think I am being listened to" oh really, I beg to differ.
It may seem that I have been a little hard, the girl clearly needed help, but not on the shop floor in the presence and hearing of customers. There is a time and place, her friend would be wise to advise this young person to seek professional help.
One grumpy old granny sends her love.XXXX
HALF WAY THERE
Well today I had my third chemo session, only three more to go. You will note that I have posted a picture on me 'en process' I took with me a silly balloon and kept holding it in front of my face and saying "What's up Doc" well it had to be done, didn't it? They think I'm mad anyway, so mad I was.
Keith was his usual efficient self, I felt nothing except that strange sensation you get in the nose, of all places, a sort of electric shock type tingle. It was all over by 11.45am so and hour all told. Now more tablets - which I hate taking. The important thing is to take your temperature 4 times a day for at least three days, then twice a day after that. Infection is the problem, and any sign of a temp increase and I have to call into the unit.
I did feel a little down today, I guess I just want it over and done.
Love Granny.
Keith was his usual efficient self, I felt nothing except that strange sensation you get in the nose, of all places, a sort of electric shock type tingle. It was all over by 11.45am so and hour all told. Now more tablets - which I hate taking. The important thing is to take your temperature 4 times a day for at least three days, then twice a day after that. Infection is the problem, and any sign of a temp increase and I have to call into the unit.
I did feel a little down today, I guess I just want it over and done.
Love Granny.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
BEXLEYHEATH -V- THE REST
I have lived in London Borough of Bexley since 1983. Over the years I have watched with horror the terrible mess Bexleyheath has become. I rarely if ever shop there now, I hate with some passion the monstrosity they call a shopping centre. It has no character, that has been driven out. Replaced by large pubs aimed at the young resulting in nightly antisocial behaviour. the shopping is dire, the shops are same o same o as every where else but lack any sparkle.
The pedestrian area is frequented by aimless young people from around the borough and beyond, who have this idea that only they have a right to be there and behave accordingly. I never go there in the evening, why should I? with only the choice of juvenile drinking establishments and fast food and mediocre chain eateries. I want some where adult - ie over 21 please, noise free where good food and good music are the order of the day. There is only one restaurant that is worthy of the title and accordingly it is pricey, so not a regular place to visit. There is not one quality night time venue anywhere in the borough, who seem hell bent on concreting the borough over. Traffic management is a joke, as are the parking restrictions.
THE REST.
I prefer to shop in Dartford and Woolwich - same general problems but I just find it more appealing to shop in these two areas. They still have some sense of identity.
Dartford has a small shopping mall but it has some nice shops, although if you shop in Primark beware, over stocked and not well managed in terms of floor space or marketing stratergy, which is I guess pile it in sell it cheap and on the whole the staff are slow, bored and demotivated. However my bargin was a black heavy linen long multi gored skirt for £5. In Peppermint I purchased a pair of khaki base ball boots for £5 which you could buy similar in Schuh for £34 (some mark up!!!) These two items should last me all winter.
As you know I like an early visit to Bluewater, it is funny what a difference the sum makes when it streams in through the roof lights. The best of both worlds. Outside is maturing nicely with trees, streams, wildlife and over by the Village, the restaurants have space outside to eat. Except you must not feed the Wildfowl!!!
My one moan is that it brings the Mums with babies out in force, they also bring their uber trendy mini me's with a disasterous result, me listening to spoilt children moaning "but I want it" reflections of the mothers I guess in the 'I' want society we have become. Given the cost of things in the shops of Bluewater, I guess the credit cards get a hammering.
I noted a sad trend of trainers on wheels worn by the very young, who not only run between the narrow aisles of shops they skate and look at others (Me) as if I am in their way. I love children, I believe we should love and care for them, but not to allow hyperactive out of control under fives to run around and jump on seating in coffee shops without restraint. I was horrified when a couple of Mums with a child each, sat a the table where I was and proceeded to chat with the occassional, 'now' to the respective children. One of these children with a full set of teeth apparently doesn't like to chew his food (or more likely won't) and clearly mum is pandering to this by her less than helpful atttitude she actually allows this behaviour and virtually encourages it, he had a very small current which immediately had to be washed down with water Quote "It is the only way he will eat anything". Could this be the only way he gets her attention? oh I think so.
I do not know which is worse, dippy mothers or those who scream torrants of abuse at their young. Children need boundaries, they feel secure if they are encouraged. Children learn to scream from adults, because they (parents) scream at each other, children won't eat because they don't. Loving is not about pandering to tantrums and demands. Behaviour is learnt in the home. You have children then it is the whole deal, manners, feeding, education, health the parents responsibility not the state.
In Cuba, I heard one mother complain that there were no chicken nuggets on the buffet at lunch. What? we were in Cuba and the food we had was better than good, plentiful, fresh and there was a lot of stuff for any child to eat, not least fresh cooked pasta while you wait with the sauce of your choice, what was wrong with that and a little salad and fresh fruit? nothing. This child was a product of it's education, why visit Cuba? go to Bexleyheath if chicken nuggets are all you want.
Back to Bluewater, Gold star for Evans and Elvi who fly the flag for the larger woman, they both had some nice stuff.
Monsoon, Zara, Strawberry Bunny, East are very nice shops as is 'Lucy in the Sky' but far too expensive.
My biggest complaint about any shopping is that staff are Snooty, Lack manners, are condecending and just not interested in customers. Have none of these shops heard of Staff Training?
I know I have had a moan, but really - I am sad for this country.
Love Granny
The pedestrian area is frequented by aimless young people from around the borough and beyond, who have this idea that only they have a right to be there and behave accordingly. I never go there in the evening, why should I? with only the choice of juvenile drinking establishments and fast food and mediocre chain eateries. I want some where adult - ie over 21 please, noise free where good food and good music are the order of the day. There is only one restaurant that is worthy of the title and accordingly it is pricey, so not a regular place to visit. There is not one quality night time venue anywhere in the borough, who seem hell bent on concreting the borough over. Traffic management is a joke, as are the parking restrictions.
THE REST.
I prefer to shop in Dartford and Woolwich - same general problems but I just find it more appealing to shop in these two areas. They still have some sense of identity.
Dartford has a small shopping mall but it has some nice shops, although if you shop in Primark beware, over stocked and not well managed in terms of floor space or marketing stratergy, which is I guess pile it in sell it cheap and on the whole the staff are slow, bored and demotivated. However my bargin was a black heavy linen long multi gored skirt for £5. In Peppermint I purchased a pair of khaki base ball boots for £5 which you could buy similar in Schuh for £34 (some mark up!!!) These two items should last me all winter.
As you know I like an early visit to Bluewater, it is funny what a difference the sum makes when it streams in through the roof lights. The best of both worlds. Outside is maturing nicely with trees, streams, wildlife and over by the Village, the restaurants have space outside to eat. Except you must not feed the Wildfowl!!!
My one moan is that it brings the Mums with babies out in force, they also bring their uber trendy mini me's with a disasterous result, me listening to spoilt children moaning "but I want it" reflections of the mothers I guess in the 'I' want society we have become. Given the cost of things in the shops of Bluewater, I guess the credit cards get a hammering.
I noted a sad trend of trainers on wheels worn by the very young, who not only run between the narrow aisles of shops they skate and look at others (Me) as if I am in their way. I love children, I believe we should love and care for them, but not to allow hyperactive out of control under fives to run around and jump on seating in coffee shops without restraint. I was horrified when a couple of Mums with a child each, sat a the table where I was and proceeded to chat with the occassional, 'now' to the respective children. One of these children with a full set of teeth apparently doesn't like to chew his food (or more likely won't) and clearly mum is pandering to this by her less than helpful atttitude she actually allows this behaviour and virtually encourages it, he had a very small current which immediately had to be washed down with water Quote "It is the only way he will eat anything". Could this be the only way he gets her attention? oh I think so.
I do not know which is worse, dippy mothers or those who scream torrants of abuse at their young. Children need boundaries, they feel secure if they are encouraged. Children learn to scream from adults, because they (parents) scream at each other, children won't eat because they don't. Loving is not about pandering to tantrums and demands. Behaviour is learnt in the home. You have children then it is the whole deal, manners, feeding, education, health the parents responsibility not the state.
In Cuba, I heard one mother complain that there were no chicken nuggets on the buffet at lunch. What? we were in Cuba and the food we had was better than good, plentiful, fresh and there was a lot of stuff for any child to eat, not least fresh cooked pasta while you wait with the sauce of your choice, what was wrong with that and a little salad and fresh fruit? nothing. This child was a product of it's education, why visit Cuba? go to Bexleyheath if chicken nuggets are all you want.
Back to Bluewater, Gold star for Evans and Elvi who fly the flag for the larger woman, they both had some nice stuff.
Monsoon, Zara, Strawberry Bunny, East are very nice shops as is 'Lucy in the Sky' but far too expensive.
My biggest complaint about any shopping is that staff are Snooty, Lack manners, are condecending and just not interested in customers. Have none of these shops heard of Staff Training?
I know I have had a moan, but really - I am sad for this country.
Love Granny
Thursday, August 24, 2006
OLDCHURCH HOSPITAL
This the hospital where my brother and I were born, it is in Romford Essex. It is also where my Mum trained as a nurse. She worked as an operating theater sister there, and when she had the both of us she stayed home to look after us. Later she worked at Southampton General Hospital for 20 years until her retirement. My question is, does anybody care that this wonderful old hospital in Romford has gone?
I cannot complain at my treatment at Queen Mary's Sidcup, but I would say this. Nursing is a vocation and a career and it is about care of patients. My mum was held in high esteem, she was never afraid to get her hands dirty (she then washed them of course) she did what had to be done. Recently I heard of a nurse who refused to deal with a bed pan, because it was not her job. Nonsense and get a life.
Love Granny.
I cannot complain at my treatment at Queen Mary's Sidcup, but I would say this. Nursing is a vocation and a career and it is about care of patients. My mum was held in high esteem, she was never afraid to get her hands dirty (she then washed them of course) she did what had to be done. Recently I heard of a nurse who refused to deal with a bed pan, because it was not her job. Nonsense and get a life.
Love Granny.
QUITE A FEW BITS
Firstly, the hair has begun to fall out again, this is about right. I had a shortish period when no hair fell out and I judged that last time the hair begun to fall about five days before the next round of chemo and the same appears to be happening. No problem, just another stage.
Secondly, there has been a great deal written about breast cancer in the press. I noted an article by Kerry Ross (Paul Ross's ex wife) in the Mail. Very interesting and informative and hugely positive. She had only recently remarried prior to her diagnosis, which was an awful shock for her. This is a must read.
Thirdly, the suff about new drugs is very disruptive for people, not all the drugs work on all people, it very much remains an issue as to what kind of cancer a person has. I fear peoples expectations are built up unrealistically - this fuels demands which do not reflect what is right for the patient.
What makes me angry is the money the drug companies are making, yes it costs money for research, development etc etc I understand that. but come on chaps the bottom line is your share holders who are making money on the back of other peoples pain and suffering. this is morally and ethically repugnant. Reduce the cost to the Health Services, no one should have to decide on cost grounds who can have what treatment, these decisions should only be made on clinical evidence. I think it is appaling to put a cost on HIP REPLACEMENT versus CHILD HOOD ILLNESS TREATMENT. I also worry that people 'chase' cures and demand a treatment for themselves those who are well off can of course do this, the poor cannot. I also think that to mortgage ones self is unrealistic.
Fourthly, the issue of death. There are people who demand the right to end their life, when in their view their quality of life is not worth it, there may be a number of reasons for this and who am I to judge what is right for them. The manner of death is important, I would rather die without pain and there are wonderful places where this process is made easier, I mean hospices of course. This would be my choice, to die well when it is my time. I find it apporant that some legal and religious voices seek to determine what this should or should not mean for individuals, they add to a persons sense of fear and pain by punishing them with arguments that reflect an ideology rather than humanity. The other issue is of course, we all die, nothing else in this world is more certain. No one has the right to take life, murder etc this goes without saying, but to prolong life beyond nature is repugnant because it is not life.
We are born, we live our lives and we die, it is arrogant of an individual to think that they should live forever, why should I for example live longer than you? am I better or of more value you that you? No, I am equal to you in value. What matters to me is how I live my life and how I die, peacfully and knowing I am loved.
Secondly, there has been a great deal written about breast cancer in the press. I noted an article by Kerry Ross (Paul Ross's ex wife) in the Mail. Very interesting and informative and hugely positive. She had only recently remarried prior to her diagnosis, which was an awful shock for her. This is a must read.
Thirdly, the suff about new drugs is very disruptive for people, not all the drugs work on all people, it very much remains an issue as to what kind of cancer a person has. I fear peoples expectations are built up unrealistically - this fuels demands which do not reflect what is right for the patient.
What makes me angry is the money the drug companies are making, yes it costs money for research, development etc etc I understand that. but come on chaps the bottom line is your share holders who are making money on the back of other peoples pain and suffering. this is morally and ethically repugnant. Reduce the cost to the Health Services, no one should have to decide on cost grounds who can have what treatment, these decisions should only be made on clinical evidence. I think it is appaling to put a cost on HIP REPLACEMENT versus CHILD HOOD ILLNESS TREATMENT. I also worry that people 'chase' cures and demand a treatment for themselves those who are well off can of course do this, the poor cannot. I also think that to mortgage ones self is unrealistic.
Fourthly, the issue of death. There are people who demand the right to end their life, when in their view their quality of life is not worth it, there may be a number of reasons for this and who am I to judge what is right for them. The manner of death is important, I would rather die without pain and there are wonderful places where this process is made easier, I mean hospices of course. This would be my choice, to die well when it is my time. I find it apporant that some legal and religious voices seek to determine what this should or should not mean for individuals, they add to a persons sense of fear and pain by punishing them with arguments that reflect an ideology rather than humanity. The other issue is of course, we all die, nothing else in this world is more certain. No one has the right to take life, murder etc this goes without saying, but to prolong life beyond nature is repugnant because it is not life.
We are born, we live our lives and we die, it is arrogant of an individual to think that they should live forever, why should I for example live longer than you? am I better or of more value you that you? No, I am equal to you in value. What matters to me is how I live my life and how I die, peacfully and knowing I am loved.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
HAIR TODAY, GONE TOMORROW
Hi World, You will have seen that I have posted two pictures, which are acurate representations of myself, losing hair. If anybody is afraid of this happening to them, please don't be. I have read so much lately in fashion magazines and today in the paper about women who have lost their hair, some like me through Chemo, who are just inspirational about how they dealt with it. I have choosen not to do the wig thing, but that's me. Today however wigs are incredable, even Trevor Sorbie markets a wig design. Don't be sad, because I look on it as a fresh start, it is visible but if people find it difficult then it is their problem not yours or mine, it is their fears. I might have to get the setson out soon, can't have a sunburnt head.
I have made contact with a friend from Junior School, after all these years - via - Friends Reunited. It so happens his sister, was diagnosed about 10 years ago, she lives in Jamaica where she has given up her career to work for Breast Cancer and is an artist. I cannot wait to talk to her, to gather inspiration from her. You know It Is Life Changing, I refuse to be punished by other peoples expectations of the disease.
If I survive, which I hope I will (nothing is guaranteed) then for the rest of the time that I have I will smile, laugh, sing and DO THINGS. I will travel, I will learn about Britain and nature. I want to be able to pass on to my grandchildren, a love of life. We have one life, it is not a rehersal, we cannot undo (realistically) things that should not have be done - that is a persons history. But whats coming we can impact, what ever time we have. It is really not about how much time an individual has but what they do with that time. Talk to family, share a meal, share a tear, share a hug - create a memory. This is the way to proceed with things that frighten us. If I get sicker later in the process, so be it. Other people out there have been less fortunate than I and I recognise how difficult it is for them.
More tomorrow. Love Granny
I have made contact with a friend from Junior School, after all these years - via - Friends Reunited. It so happens his sister, was diagnosed about 10 years ago, she lives in Jamaica where she has given up her career to work for Breast Cancer and is an artist. I cannot wait to talk to her, to gather inspiration from her. You know It Is Life Changing, I refuse to be punished by other peoples expectations of the disease.
If I survive, which I hope I will (nothing is guaranteed) then for the rest of the time that I have I will smile, laugh, sing and DO THINGS. I will travel, I will learn about Britain and nature. I want to be able to pass on to my grandchildren, a love of life. We have one life, it is not a rehersal, we cannot undo (realistically) things that should not have be done - that is a persons history. But whats coming we can impact, what ever time we have. It is really not about how much time an individual has but what they do with that time. Talk to family, share a meal, share a tear, share a hug - create a memory. This is the way to proceed with things that frighten us. If I get sicker later in the process, so be it. Other people out there have been less fortunate than I and I recognise how difficult it is for them.
More tomorrow. Love Granny
Monday, August 21, 2006
ALL THINGS SILLY, PS I CAN'T SPELL
Just so you know, I am a collector of all things silly and trivial - or so Mick thinks. I am also someone who mooches, the very essence of 'Minni the Moocher'. Mick says I am the only person he knows who can shop for no reason, I just amble sedately from shop to shop - browsing and being uber critical. He says I am the only person he knows who can be there one minute and he is talking to me and the next I have vanished down some aisle or other - good thing for my mobile he just rings me to find out which shop I happen to be in. I call my silly and trivial items my treasures, and they can range from a paper butterly to a concrete model of a classical nude on a cheise longue I have Teddies and model cars, icons, pictures, glass and jewellery. My biggest collection is of BOOKS, BOOKS AND YET MORE BOOKs. These are my sources, my references for my work with history, the law and women's issues, I AM UNDER STRICT ORDERS - NO MORE BOOKS but what does Mick know, I slip the odd one under his radar.
I have been reviewing some more fashion stuff this morning, I was delighted to get, among all the Sunday paper dross, The Sunday Times Boden Autum catalogue. I love their stuff but can never afford to purchase. For you busy ladies out there who work in business I have to say that I like their stuff particularly for work, why? mostly the range of colours and the basics that could be your capsual business wardrobe.
This season they have a classic Velvet trim v neck (jumper), a flattering line in soft cotton jersey the colours are scrummy, from Dusky Turquoise to a mid brown, I am into the pink shades myself. At £21 not bad a price either for a staple/classic. They have a similar cardigan range which I like at £29. Their full Sateen cotton skirt is also excellent and I would wear with the jumper noted above. I like waistcoats and they have a nice velvet collection. Another skirt that they have is either in a stripe or check I like boot, but a £55 quite and expensive item.
Boden have some great T shirts (long sleeve with v neck) a lovely range of Cami, a wicked short jacket in black or check. Their bags are to die for as are their loafers and ballet pumps.
They have what they describe as the essential shirt, I would say yes but the price of £38 is too much. If it were cheaper I would probably buy 2 or 3 with a jumper and a cardigan and a mix of skirts that would be my work wardrobe. You can play around with basics to make a statement. One of my other 'silly collections' are my brooches, I have over 100 of all sorts, from craft shop picks to second hand shops and stall, a particular hunting ground for these is Greenwich Market. PS we must save Greenwich from the developers. My other little secret is tights in all sorts of colours.
Many moons ago when I used present cases in court in child care matters and long before the CPS I nearly always wore a black suit - the thing the magistrates used to try and guess was what colour my tights might be - my idea was to look like a Liquorice Allsort (not bertie however)
I had pink (well you know I would) and blues and green tights to choose from. These days bless them I can buy patterned ones. At work they laugh because I have a passion for Fishnets, my boss (and I did this to wind him up) was in a panic when I was teaching a class on prostitution and how to deal with these issues when I wore, black fishnets, black tight skirt and very killer heels, so that I could (yes I know, a stereotype) show the class how to view 'loitering' - well it made people laugh. I do like to 'Act up'.
By the by, I love killer heels. but I also love uber flatties.
In the YOU magazine in the Mail on Sunday there are some great ideas, and dont say I didnt warn you the knitted dress is well back. Super sexy to if worn properly. My favourites was the well priced H and M dress in a cream knit with a scoop neck and a front waist bow detail. NOT EVERYBODY COULD or SHOULD wear this and I perhaps would not but I still love it (I can dream at least) and at £34 not bad. This could be a day or evening item dressed up or down. I would probably go for a toning tight and shoe to lengthen the look. Chocolate is very much in this season and would add a nice touch to this dress as would naturals (wood)
Good tights tip - Golden Lady in Asda, Italian tights I love their light colour with a matching diamond pattern, I love their tarten tights and their black tights with little white spots.
I am also over the Moon that BIBA are back, this was the company I used to buy from in the 1970's wicked. I love the Black satin Cat Suit, a style I wore a lot when younger, and it is a younger persons look. You need a good back for this item and good arms.
Problem arms? then a shrug is a must.
I went shopping again, well window shopping as usual, I like what I saw in Peacocks, they have a nice Oat colour trouser in a linen mix. They have a wicked cross over blouse in a black with a feint red stripe it ties to the side, not as bad as it sounds, in cotton. Would look great with a black trouser or skirt.
There is also a nice retro 1970 pattern sleevless dress in black and red on white, It is empire line and to the knee. Watch the stitching however as always with cheaper end of the market. I would not wear black with this dress, red would be nice and pick up the red or the white of the dress, in cheap and cheerful beads, earings bangles etc etc perhaps a nice red clutch bag. An Autumn party look. Matalan was quite boring but both shops still have the longer T shirt that I love in some great colours and a £3 not a bad deal can be worn under a shirt, with jeans or what ever. Mattalan has some wicked green leather stilletoes.
A shoe tip - whether at work or on a date, clean scuff free shoes are a must. It says you care about your appearance. Good shoes make an outfit, they should also be comfortable there is nothing worse tha painful feet, it makes you feel so bad. I also have shoes in a range of colours, including the all important neutral, for choice. Basic black is great, but does not go with lighter outfits, they can look heavy and unbalance an outfit.
I am glad to see the high waist super skinny trouser and jeans is back. I am off to find the nice flat fronted, great tummy flattening trouser at Miss Selfridge a steal at £30 - this will last you all season, to dress up of down.
Oh well time to go. for my cocktail today - Mandarin and peach over ICE yummy. Love Granny
I have been reviewing some more fashion stuff this morning, I was delighted to get, among all the Sunday paper dross, The Sunday Times Boden Autum catalogue. I love their stuff but can never afford to purchase. For you busy ladies out there who work in business I have to say that I like their stuff particularly for work, why? mostly the range of colours and the basics that could be your capsual business wardrobe.
This season they have a classic Velvet trim v neck (jumper), a flattering line in soft cotton jersey the colours are scrummy, from Dusky Turquoise to a mid brown, I am into the pink shades myself. At £21 not bad a price either for a staple/classic. They have a similar cardigan range which I like at £29. Their full Sateen cotton skirt is also excellent and I would wear with the jumper noted above. I like waistcoats and they have a nice velvet collection. Another skirt that they have is either in a stripe or check I like boot, but a £55 quite and expensive item.
Boden have some great T shirts (long sleeve with v neck) a lovely range of Cami, a wicked short jacket in black or check. Their bags are to die for as are their loafers and ballet pumps.
They have what they describe as the essential shirt, I would say yes but the price of £38 is too much. If it were cheaper I would probably buy 2 or 3 with a jumper and a cardigan and a mix of skirts that would be my work wardrobe. You can play around with basics to make a statement. One of my other 'silly collections' are my brooches, I have over 100 of all sorts, from craft shop picks to second hand shops and stall, a particular hunting ground for these is Greenwich Market. PS we must save Greenwich from the developers. My other little secret is tights in all sorts of colours.
Many moons ago when I used present cases in court in child care matters and long before the CPS I nearly always wore a black suit - the thing the magistrates used to try and guess was what colour my tights might be - my idea was to look like a Liquorice Allsort (not bertie however)
I had pink (well you know I would) and blues and green tights to choose from. These days bless them I can buy patterned ones. At work they laugh because I have a passion for Fishnets, my boss (and I did this to wind him up) was in a panic when I was teaching a class on prostitution and how to deal with these issues when I wore, black fishnets, black tight skirt and very killer heels, so that I could (yes I know, a stereotype) show the class how to view 'loitering' - well it made people laugh. I do like to 'Act up'.
By the by, I love killer heels. but I also love uber flatties.
In the YOU magazine in the Mail on Sunday there are some great ideas, and dont say I didnt warn you the knitted dress is well back. Super sexy to if worn properly. My favourites was the well priced H and M dress in a cream knit with a scoop neck and a front waist bow detail. NOT EVERYBODY COULD or SHOULD wear this and I perhaps would not but I still love it (I can dream at least) and at £34 not bad. This could be a day or evening item dressed up or down. I would probably go for a toning tight and shoe to lengthen the look. Chocolate is very much in this season and would add a nice touch to this dress as would naturals (wood)
Good tights tip - Golden Lady in Asda, Italian tights I love their light colour with a matching diamond pattern, I love their tarten tights and their black tights with little white spots.
I am also over the Moon that BIBA are back, this was the company I used to buy from in the 1970's wicked. I love the Black satin Cat Suit, a style I wore a lot when younger, and it is a younger persons look. You need a good back for this item and good arms.
Problem arms? then a shrug is a must.
I went shopping again, well window shopping as usual, I like what I saw in Peacocks, they have a nice Oat colour trouser in a linen mix. They have a wicked cross over blouse in a black with a feint red stripe it ties to the side, not as bad as it sounds, in cotton. Would look great with a black trouser or skirt.
There is also a nice retro 1970 pattern sleevless dress in black and red on white, It is empire line and to the knee. Watch the stitching however as always with cheaper end of the market. I would not wear black with this dress, red would be nice and pick up the red or the white of the dress, in cheap and cheerful beads, earings bangles etc etc perhaps a nice red clutch bag. An Autumn party look. Matalan was quite boring but both shops still have the longer T shirt that I love in some great colours and a £3 not a bad deal can be worn under a shirt, with jeans or what ever. Mattalan has some wicked green leather stilletoes.
A shoe tip - whether at work or on a date, clean scuff free shoes are a must. It says you care about your appearance. Good shoes make an outfit, they should also be comfortable there is nothing worse tha painful feet, it makes you feel so bad. I also have shoes in a range of colours, including the all important neutral, for choice. Basic black is great, but does not go with lighter outfits, they can look heavy and unbalance an outfit.
I am glad to see the high waist super skinny trouser and jeans is back. I am off to find the nice flat fronted, great tummy flattening trouser at Miss Selfridge a steal at £30 - this will last you all season, to dress up of down.
Oh well time to go. for my cocktail today - Mandarin and peach over ICE yummy. Love Granny
Saturday, August 19, 2006
STRAIGHT DOWN RAIN
Today, Saturday, it has been raining, and that is a good thing since we have been in a 'drought' period. In the pine trees with the sun on them, there are droplets shining like diamonds that twinkle and reflect out some colours, more beautiful than any costly necklace.
The rain was coming down, heavy and straight down, almost like a sheet of water. I noticed a feather, a tiny white curly feather and it was twisting and floating 'across' this down pour, pushed against the water as if by magic, unhurried, not bothered just doing it's thing despite what must have been great pressure, incredible. I have also just seen a young Woodpecker in the pine, just sitting there looking a bit wet and bedraggled.
It reminded me of how I view life and what I want for other women. I look back at the history of womens suffrage and rights and then I look at women today and wonder what have we achieved because we still buy into partriarchy. I want women to be better than men, by that I mean not doing things the male way. I want women to be above violence and survival of the fittest nor motivated by greed and power. I look at the girls who hang around in gangs (nothing new I must say) I look at them because they are stuck in the rut of group identitiy and not individuality. I find that very boring, and a waste of time. They lack direction and ambition and all that has been won on their behalf, health, education and opportunity are as if for nothing. I want them to have something better than what I had, and that was what the struggle has been about. CHANCE AND CHOICE and not having to settle for marriage and kids with just some fella is what I want for the girls now and in the future. Marriage is fine, if it is a partnership, love is fine if founded on mutual respect and children are important if they are wanted and loved not just something that happens after quick bonk.
These girls dress alike, and appear to see that the icons of celebrity are the ones to aspire to, when in fact it is so transient as to be unimportant. Money and glamour never last, beauty is also fragile and will disintergrate. That life is disposable and easily thrown away.
I watched a programme the other night called 'Bus Pass boob jobs' with people (over 60) seeking to hold on to a vision of their youth with boob jobs, tummy tucks and face lifts. WHY, it was so sad, especially when they really analysed why they wanted this, it was about being lonely and alone, following failed marriages - one man over 70 actually was prepared to risk his life (the action of anathstetic on his body) to take his face back to the way it was when he was in his prime. He even nearly collapsed just having botox injections. !!!!!!! It is just your face, over time it becomes the record of your life and we should be proud of this. I am so against breast augmentation and the want to have big boobs, just buys into male fantasy, a size 'ff' is rediculous.
Having just had a lump removed from my left breast, I can say with some knowledge that I would rather have a healthy boob than a size double D. I now have a large scar and a slightly misshapen boob, but it is mine and if I should in the future have to loose a breast - so be it. The only reason it becomes an issue for women is because men tell us they will not love us if we are not as they wish, or by their reaction they imply that they are turned off by us. If this is the case, you are better of without the man. I am so lucky that Mick has been so supportive, I never once felt under threat. If I had, I would have left to deal with it on my own.
I want to be 70 years of age and still doing things, reading, writing, painting - living rather than consigning myself to the trash heap of other peoples expectations. I know it might sound contradictory, when I have just trashed the choice of some elderly people to go under the knife, but actually I am not saying grow old gracefully as per my expectations, I am saying don't punish yourself for growing old, because growing old is what we all do it is part of life.
My greatest saddness this week has been when a father jumped with his two kids 50 feet from a balcony while on holiday. Following a row, he killed his 6 year old son. The fear that child experienced in that moment cannot be imagined. THIS WAS A FAMILY ROW. The father can't remember what happened - his daughter who survived will. The parents will blame each other of course. Parents, mum or dad, who kill their children when they themselves are depressed are not displaying their love for their kids just their complete disregard for them. There is a little star shining in the sky for this little boy and because I believe in a God, he is with God. I can understand why the Greek public were so angry, they are a very family oriented people and they would not have understood this. There will be many excuses, such as drink, depression and pills for this man's action, but I cannot find it in my heart to forgive him. It is likely he was trying to punish his wife for wanting to leave him. As I say so many times, children are not our possessions to be fought over or demanded in settlement, they are a precious gift.
'Shine on little light who brought such joy.
Look down and with love care for your sister.'
Love from Granny
The rain was coming down, heavy and straight down, almost like a sheet of water. I noticed a feather, a tiny white curly feather and it was twisting and floating 'across' this down pour, pushed against the water as if by magic, unhurried, not bothered just doing it's thing despite what must have been great pressure, incredible. I have also just seen a young Woodpecker in the pine, just sitting there looking a bit wet and bedraggled.
It reminded me of how I view life and what I want for other women. I look back at the history of womens suffrage and rights and then I look at women today and wonder what have we achieved because we still buy into partriarchy. I want women to be better than men, by that I mean not doing things the male way. I want women to be above violence and survival of the fittest nor motivated by greed and power. I look at the girls who hang around in gangs (nothing new I must say) I look at them because they are stuck in the rut of group identitiy and not individuality. I find that very boring, and a waste of time. They lack direction and ambition and all that has been won on their behalf, health, education and opportunity are as if for nothing. I want them to have something better than what I had, and that was what the struggle has been about. CHANCE AND CHOICE and not having to settle for marriage and kids with just some fella is what I want for the girls now and in the future. Marriage is fine, if it is a partnership, love is fine if founded on mutual respect and children are important if they are wanted and loved not just something that happens after quick bonk.
These girls dress alike, and appear to see that the icons of celebrity are the ones to aspire to, when in fact it is so transient as to be unimportant. Money and glamour never last, beauty is also fragile and will disintergrate. That life is disposable and easily thrown away.
I watched a programme the other night called 'Bus Pass boob jobs' with people (over 60) seeking to hold on to a vision of their youth with boob jobs, tummy tucks and face lifts. WHY, it was so sad, especially when they really analysed why they wanted this, it was about being lonely and alone, following failed marriages - one man over 70 actually was prepared to risk his life (the action of anathstetic on his body) to take his face back to the way it was when he was in his prime. He even nearly collapsed just having botox injections. !!!!!!! It is just your face, over time it becomes the record of your life and we should be proud of this. I am so against breast augmentation and the want to have big boobs, just buys into male fantasy, a size 'ff' is rediculous.
Having just had a lump removed from my left breast, I can say with some knowledge that I would rather have a healthy boob than a size double D. I now have a large scar and a slightly misshapen boob, but it is mine and if I should in the future have to loose a breast - so be it. The only reason it becomes an issue for women is because men tell us they will not love us if we are not as they wish, or by their reaction they imply that they are turned off by us. If this is the case, you are better of without the man. I am so lucky that Mick has been so supportive, I never once felt under threat. If I had, I would have left to deal with it on my own.
I want to be 70 years of age and still doing things, reading, writing, painting - living rather than consigning myself to the trash heap of other peoples expectations. I know it might sound contradictory, when I have just trashed the choice of some elderly people to go under the knife, but actually I am not saying grow old gracefully as per my expectations, I am saying don't punish yourself for growing old, because growing old is what we all do it is part of life.
My greatest saddness this week has been when a father jumped with his two kids 50 feet from a balcony while on holiday. Following a row, he killed his 6 year old son. The fear that child experienced in that moment cannot be imagined. THIS WAS A FAMILY ROW. The father can't remember what happened - his daughter who survived will. The parents will blame each other of course. Parents, mum or dad, who kill their children when they themselves are depressed are not displaying their love for their kids just their complete disregard for them. There is a little star shining in the sky for this little boy and because I believe in a God, he is with God. I can understand why the Greek public were so angry, they are a very family oriented people and they would not have understood this. There will be many excuses, such as drink, depression and pills for this man's action, but I cannot find it in my heart to forgive him. It is likely he was trying to punish his wife for wanting to leave him. As I say so many times, children are not our possessions to be fought over or demanded in settlement, they are a precious gift.
'Shine on little light who brought such joy.
Look down and with love care for your sister.'
Love from Granny
Thursday, August 17, 2006
BLUEWATER MOURNING!
Just before my second chemo I went for a short early morning walk in Bluewater. I arrived before the shops had all opened and had a coffee and Muffin (lovely) I wanted to have a look at the things I could not afford and to see what inspiration I could glean from the pretty things. I took a note book to record some thoughts - this post is about that experience. There is a Halal food outlet in the food hall, good to see - look for Shere Khan.
CROCS, a strange brightly coloured clog shoe with foot massage interior, I would love a pair, ideal for beach holidays, washable and jolly, I have always been a clog fan, I have a black leather pair which I wear with jeans. Fun and Funky. A small stall on the lower floor (not a shop) It made me smile.
PS Mustard is not a good colour, although there is a lot about, if you wear near face, think skin tone before you buy.
Everywhere is sale mad, with 70% off in someplaces, definately a time to shop, but in high price retailers, you are still spending too much even in the sale, not worth it really. Everything is too expensive, of course shops need to move seasonal stuff quickly, I suggest they look at what they buy and what their customers want and then buy accordingly. Sales are a testament to overstocking, poor purchase decisions, marketing and size ranges.
A shop I had not seen before is MANDOLIN, Loved it a very good range of mid price clothes with some nice styles. Skirts at £49 and Dress at £49.
In Zara which has quite a nice layout I found a super spotty top (long) and various colours and a really nice long line skinny polo neck (not a good look for the older neck)
JIGSAW had a good sale, with some great skirts for autumn/winter for the officer and some nice jackets.
NEXT had a great black dress for £52 very 50's but still too expensive, I also liked the Black and White dog tooth check skirt at £26 and Jacket at £54 (good for the business woman with oomph)
I also recommend Wolford's for tights and things If I had the right figure I would have those stretchy skirts as well.
I purchased a wicked pair of earings for £2.50 (yes under a fiver) in the ACCESSORIZE sale very long, very ethnic in brass look and turquoise tassel. Ideal for when I am bald to make the statement, I'm bald so what. Very Kick Arse.
My biggest issue is that Past Times has gone, pushed out I hear due to rising rents in Bluewater. Stupid to over price the venue I think, that will only push out the price cost to the shopper.
Always shop early, give yourself time to wizz around and get a feel note your items and return to have a better look.
PS I love Oasis for Accessorises.
MY BIG MOAN, Is the staff who are endlessly bored in their work and are rude and ignorant of their customers, no customers = no job. Having said that customers should not be rude to staff either, and patience is a virtue when you can clearly see staff are busy. Busy does not mean staff discussing last night or up coming date with Co workers. Being busy is not being rude about customers who have just been in, this does not endear me to you and I WONT SHOP IN YOUR SHOP. Some staff think that their lives are more important than the customers wishes WRONG. Customer focus and customer service should be a watch word. You should know and understand company and consumer policy be professional. Have alternatives to items to discuss understand how your products work together and for god sake smile a welcome, not pushy just friendly. Also be uptodate with competitors and fashion trends.
Don't sell faulty goods in the sale, BIN THEM.
I want to see items, set out in size order ie all 12s together etc and then colour co-ordinated. I don't want to have to wade through a thousand size 10's to find a 14. I want to see some effort to understand how items work together.
Sadly, I was bored by Bluewater this time although I can see the attraction for the many mums with children - especially on either a very hot or rainy day. Large department stores bore me riggid and are predictable.
As a by the by a very interesting article in Times2 supplement on Tuesday 15/08/2006 "The Chain Gang" Secrets of the six men who run the high street" Terry Green at Tesco, Sir Philip Green (BHS) Stephen Sunnucks (GAP) Stuart Rose (M+S) Phil Wrigley (New Look) and Mike Shearwood of Zara. Please Please lets have a female revolution and unseat these money men. I am glad to see that there is a move to inhouse design teams not before time, HOW ABOUT A MOVE BACK TO British makers as well. I also welcome the idea of short style ranges, keep it moving is what I say. There are loads of young desingers out there in the fashion and design schools. INNOVATION. NOT EVERY BODY IS A SIZE 8 OR 10 (who would want to be) Not everybody wants to be Victoria Beckham, Paris Hilton or any such celeb. We are individuals and that is a beautiful thing, lifestyle is what you make it - I don't want other peoples lifestyles I want mine.
Space in shops to move around, good changing facilities, chairs, mirrors even 360 degree ones so I can see my back, good lighting and good quality interested and knowledgable staff. FOCUS FOCUS. Just don't look down your nose at the customer and your sales will grow.
Have a nice day! Granny
CROCS, a strange brightly coloured clog shoe with foot massage interior, I would love a pair, ideal for beach holidays, washable and jolly, I have always been a clog fan, I have a black leather pair which I wear with jeans. Fun and Funky. A small stall on the lower floor (not a shop) It made me smile.
PS Mustard is not a good colour, although there is a lot about, if you wear near face, think skin tone before you buy.
Everywhere is sale mad, with 70% off in someplaces, definately a time to shop, but in high price retailers, you are still spending too much even in the sale, not worth it really. Everything is too expensive, of course shops need to move seasonal stuff quickly, I suggest they look at what they buy and what their customers want and then buy accordingly. Sales are a testament to overstocking, poor purchase decisions, marketing and size ranges.
A shop I had not seen before is MANDOLIN, Loved it a very good range of mid price clothes with some nice styles. Skirts at £49 and Dress at £49.
In Zara which has quite a nice layout I found a super spotty top (long) and various colours and a really nice long line skinny polo neck (not a good look for the older neck)
JIGSAW had a good sale, with some great skirts for autumn/winter for the officer and some nice jackets.
NEXT had a great black dress for £52 very 50's but still too expensive, I also liked the Black and White dog tooth check skirt at £26 and Jacket at £54 (good for the business woman with oomph)
I also recommend Wolford's for tights and things If I had the right figure I would have those stretchy skirts as well.
I purchased a wicked pair of earings for £2.50 (yes under a fiver) in the ACCESSORIZE sale very long, very ethnic in brass look and turquoise tassel. Ideal for when I am bald to make the statement, I'm bald so what. Very Kick Arse.
My biggest issue is that Past Times has gone, pushed out I hear due to rising rents in Bluewater. Stupid to over price the venue I think, that will only push out the price cost to the shopper.
Always shop early, give yourself time to wizz around and get a feel note your items and return to have a better look.
PS I love Oasis for Accessorises.
MY BIG MOAN, Is the staff who are endlessly bored in their work and are rude and ignorant of their customers, no customers = no job. Having said that customers should not be rude to staff either, and patience is a virtue when you can clearly see staff are busy. Busy does not mean staff discussing last night or up coming date with Co workers. Being busy is not being rude about customers who have just been in, this does not endear me to you and I WONT SHOP IN YOUR SHOP. Some staff think that their lives are more important than the customers wishes WRONG. Customer focus and customer service should be a watch word. You should know and understand company and consumer policy be professional. Have alternatives to items to discuss understand how your products work together and for god sake smile a welcome, not pushy just friendly. Also be uptodate with competitors and fashion trends.
Don't sell faulty goods in the sale, BIN THEM.
I want to see items, set out in size order ie all 12s together etc and then colour co-ordinated. I don't want to have to wade through a thousand size 10's to find a 14. I want to see some effort to understand how items work together.
Sadly, I was bored by Bluewater this time although I can see the attraction for the many mums with children - especially on either a very hot or rainy day. Large department stores bore me riggid and are predictable.
As a by the by a very interesting article in Times2 supplement on Tuesday 15/08/2006 "The Chain Gang" Secrets of the six men who run the high street" Terry Green at Tesco, Sir Philip Green (BHS) Stephen Sunnucks (GAP) Stuart Rose (M+S) Phil Wrigley (New Look) and Mike Shearwood of Zara. Please Please lets have a female revolution and unseat these money men. I am glad to see that there is a move to inhouse design teams not before time, HOW ABOUT A MOVE BACK TO British makers as well. I also welcome the idea of short style ranges, keep it moving is what I say. There are loads of young desingers out there in the fashion and design schools. INNOVATION. NOT EVERY BODY IS A SIZE 8 OR 10 (who would want to be) Not everybody wants to be Victoria Beckham, Paris Hilton or any such celeb. We are individuals and that is a beautiful thing, lifestyle is what you make it - I don't want other peoples lifestyles I want mine.
Space in shops to move around, good changing facilities, chairs, mirrors even 360 degree ones so I can see my back, good lighting and good quality interested and knowledgable staff. FOCUS FOCUS. Just don't look down your nose at the customer and your sales will grow.
Have a nice day! Granny
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
FOUND IT
IF A CHILD....
If a child lives with criticism,he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility,he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule,he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame,he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance,he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement,he learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise,he learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness,he learns justice.
If a child lives with security,he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval,he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,He learns to find love in the world.
--Author Unknown
If a child lives with criticism,he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility,he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule,he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame,he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance,he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement,he learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise,he learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness,he learns justice.
If a child lives with security,he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval,he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,He learns to find love in the world.
--Author Unknown
IF A CHILD
Today there is a big item on Sky News about Domestic Violence and Children. Having worked in this area for some time, I know children suffer from DV. You should be able to find the following poem on line, I have always used it as my guiding principle when dealing with this issue. It is called 'If a Child' It can be found on greetings cards and pocket prayer cards as well. I have always carried it and if only people took its words to heart, there would be a lot less children out there afraid and alone. As I have said children are not our possessions but they are our responsibility we have a duty of care to all children. Love Granny
Sunday, August 13, 2006
SHORT CUT
Well it had to be done, the big clip - hair cut. Now I look like GI Jane. It was a sensible move, to make it less like a snow storm.
Feeling not to bad today, end of the three day regime of pills which I have taking. My best medicine, is contact via e mail and blog with my brother, e mails from my mate Jackie and the blog I love best especially for the pictures and the fun comments about American life. I love it when people get up local politicians noses so find www.national-joe-a-graphic.blogspot.com/
Am I going mad, did I see the UN resolution demand a cessation to the violence, with a time and date like (tomorrow) and it is now hell for leather to get as much land as possible. Stop the violence NOW and TALK too many people have died already.
The world is not a safe place, never was never will be because vested interests always have too much to say and too little time to listen. It is all about power over people, control of their lives by one ideology, religion or cultural tradition or another, it is about money for the few and nothing for others. We should not be deluded by the speeches and comments of the 'leaders' of nations organisations, terrorist groups or freedom fighters they have their own agendas. That is not to say we should not protect ourselves, quite the contrary we should remain vigilant at all times because ALL our lives depend on it. Religion should not be about what you wear, eat, nor how often you prey it should be about how you care for others, because one day you may need their care and understanding. Two wrongs do not and never have made a right, another well worn saying I like is 'be careful who you tread on on the way up the ladder, you will meet them on the way back down'. There is always a down - always. It is important to learn from history do not use it to justify todays actions and everybody should read all historical versions of one event rather than the package deal that is fed by group 'A' over group 'B' there is always more than one side to the story. We need to understand the whole deal, this cannot be done without all the sides being listened to with equal sensitivity.
The saddest thing is sometimes we cannot even talk to our next door neighbours for fear of alienation sad but true. We breed fear into our children, who carry on our prejudices - children are not our possessions, nor are they objects to be imposed upon they are our future. To kill a child to save a child is stupid and unnecessary. I have found that a smile to any child is responded to with curiosity then a return smile and that is a beautiful thing.
This is my personal ideology, not meant to be impossed just considered. Granny
Feeling not to bad today, end of the three day regime of pills which I have taking. My best medicine, is contact via e mail and blog with my brother, e mails from my mate Jackie and the blog I love best especially for the pictures and the fun comments about American life. I love it when people get up local politicians noses so find www.national-joe-a-graphic.blogspot.com/
Am I going mad, did I see the UN resolution demand a cessation to the violence, with a time and date like (tomorrow) and it is now hell for leather to get as much land as possible. Stop the violence NOW and TALK too many people have died already.
The world is not a safe place, never was never will be because vested interests always have too much to say and too little time to listen. It is all about power over people, control of their lives by one ideology, religion or cultural tradition or another, it is about money for the few and nothing for others. We should not be deluded by the speeches and comments of the 'leaders' of nations organisations, terrorist groups or freedom fighters they have their own agendas. That is not to say we should not protect ourselves, quite the contrary we should remain vigilant at all times because ALL our lives depend on it. Religion should not be about what you wear, eat, nor how often you prey it should be about how you care for others, because one day you may need their care and understanding. Two wrongs do not and never have made a right, another well worn saying I like is 'be careful who you tread on on the way up the ladder, you will meet them on the way back down'. There is always a down - always. It is important to learn from history do not use it to justify todays actions and everybody should read all historical versions of one event rather than the package deal that is fed by group 'A' over group 'B' there is always more than one side to the story. We need to understand the whole deal, this cannot be done without all the sides being listened to with equal sensitivity.
The saddest thing is sometimes we cannot even talk to our next door neighbours for fear of alienation sad but true. We breed fear into our children, who carry on our prejudices - children are not our possessions, nor are they objects to be imposed upon they are our future. To kill a child to save a child is stupid and unnecessary. I have found that a smile to any child is responded to with curiosity then a return smile and that is a beautiful thing.
This is my personal ideology, not meant to be impossed just considered. Granny
Friday, August 11, 2006
2ND CHEMO DONE AND DUSTED
On Wednesady 9th I had my second cycle of chemo, and all went well - no ice cap. Hair loss is increasing but I am not bald yet.
Felt very tired yesterday, today I am lower than I have been. I feel very lonely all of a sudden and I am worried that Mick finds it hard to cope with as well. We talk, but I have 'C' and he finds it hard. Yesterday my good neighbour Jo, sent me a huge bunch of Sun Flowers, how kind and beautiful was that.
I think in many ways it is hard for partners, because I am being treated but mick is not. We are both going to try the aromotheraphy treatment our Macmillian Centre at the Hospital offers. It's free for both of us. A bit of separate relaxation time for us both.
Funny today has been a grey day weather wise as well as in my heart. Never mind there is always tomorrow. Oh by the way, I shall go to the hairdressers tomorrow to be shorn, all this hair falling out is so embarassing, like snow.
Love to all, Granny
Felt very tired yesterday, today I am lower than I have been. I feel very lonely all of a sudden and I am worried that Mick finds it hard to cope with as well. We talk, but I have 'C' and he finds it hard. Yesterday my good neighbour Jo, sent me a huge bunch of Sun Flowers, how kind and beautiful was that.
I think in many ways it is hard for partners, because I am being treated but mick is not. We are both going to try the aromotheraphy treatment our Macmillian Centre at the Hospital offers. It's free for both of us. A bit of separate relaxation time for us both.
Funny today has been a grey day weather wise as well as in my heart. Never mind there is always tomorrow. Oh by the way, I shall go to the hairdressers tomorrow to be shorn, all this hair falling out is so embarassing, like snow.
Love to all, Granny
Sunday, August 06, 2006
GUERLAIN FAN
I was very lucky when I was younger to be introduced to a perfume range that I would continue to love. I have appreciated of course the range and development of perfumes during the last twenty years but I have to say that I remain faithful to the Perfume house of Guerlain and many of the fragrances I have worn at defining moments in my life. I was delighted to see that a whole page in HAPPY the shopping bible for September 2006 devoted to this very company. I wore the oldest of their perfumes when I married in 1975 this was 'Jicky' originally developed in 1889. I have worn Shamlimar, Mitsouko, Chamade and Samsara. I am looking forward to trying out the new fragrance 'Insolence' this seems appropriate at the moment, but I will have to be careful as the chemo may affect my skin and therefore the fragrance.
I do think it is important to note that perfumes change from skin to skin, what may smell great on someone else might not work for others. A neat trick is to purchase the more expensive perfumes in the new trend for smal sample bottles, that way you can try and not break the bank. equally with a few you have a nice choice. I am as good as my word - I have Jasper Conran 'Woman' I also have 'Fendi', 'Very Valentino', 'Flowers' by Kenzo and 'Adorable' by Mango. They also fit very nicely into small clutch bags for the refresh if needed.
My day time fragrance preferance especially for work, is simple Lily of the Valley. For the beach I like Miami Glow by J Lo which makes me think of Pina Colada's (actually I drink Margarittas I am a lime and salt fan) worn in Cuba last year (a political statement or what!!!)
I also love Vivianne Westwood fragrances, very decadant especially 'Boudoir'.
As a secondary point I also believe that body lotions in a particular fragrance are worth getting, the effect is mor subtle and of course the body coverage is good. I love Chamade body lotion.
The magazine HAPPY is worth a read if you like shopping and there is a great section on bags if that is you addiction. I am always looking for the perfect bag, I have yet to find it. In the section called THE WORD FROM THE STREET I was most impressed with Sarah Walter, Head of Fashion Communication for 'New Look' This is a good shop in the High Street and I use it quite a loot. I was happy to see that she liked the new Tartan dress in their range as she says very Vivienne Westwood. Like me Sarah likes ankle shoes ( yes I know I have said I am not a shoe person - but when I am it is ankle shoes) Knitwear, Shoulder bags and the Garbo Look (for me it was her wearing of great trousers) In the same section I liked Gillian Vadgama from (Wallis) and Anita Borzyszowska (from Gap) choices and comments.
There are some great cheapish necklaces about at the moment with many and varied bangles again these are passions of mine, I love the ethnic/South American look.
RECENT PURCHASE. I am a devotee of second hand shops and I recently found a very pretty knee length skirt in white cotton with a delicate floral 1970's design. It has soft pleats from the waist A nicer version than similar that I have seen in the High Street, I will work it with the white and pink muscle back t shirts that I have (in combination) with pink sandals. I refuse to pay the hellish prices in many of the shops and I could not afford a designer lable. The only ones that I have had are a Paul Costello, evening dress, skirt and Jumper purchased through a factory outlet. I always hunt through sales, patience is a virtue in this.
A good tip is to constantly review your wardrobe, I archive items (in bags and store) and bring out stuff already archived to create current looks. I don't waste anything, if however I really don't want an item any more then it goes to the second hand shops. I also pass on stuff to my teenage step-granddaughter. She is very Cool and loves the theater (she attends a drama club) I don't give her tat, if she doesn't like it then the wardrobe department might like to use it.
Time for a break.
Love Granny
I do think it is important to note that perfumes change from skin to skin, what may smell great on someone else might not work for others. A neat trick is to purchase the more expensive perfumes in the new trend for smal sample bottles, that way you can try and not break the bank. equally with a few you have a nice choice. I am as good as my word - I have Jasper Conran 'Woman' I also have 'Fendi', 'Very Valentino', 'Flowers' by Kenzo and 'Adorable' by Mango. They also fit very nicely into small clutch bags for the refresh if needed.
My day time fragrance preferance especially for work, is simple Lily of the Valley. For the beach I like Miami Glow by J Lo which makes me think of Pina Colada's (actually I drink Margarittas I am a lime and salt fan) worn in Cuba last year (a political statement or what!!!)
I also love Vivianne Westwood fragrances, very decadant especially 'Boudoir'.
As a secondary point I also believe that body lotions in a particular fragrance are worth getting, the effect is mor subtle and of course the body coverage is good. I love Chamade body lotion.
The magazine HAPPY is worth a read if you like shopping and there is a great section on bags if that is you addiction. I am always looking for the perfect bag, I have yet to find it. In the section called THE WORD FROM THE STREET I was most impressed with Sarah Walter, Head of Fashion Communication for 'New Look' This is a good shop in the High Street and I use it quite a loot. I was happy to see that she liked the new Tartan dress in their range as she says very Vivienne Westwood. Like me Sarah likes ankle shoes ( yes I know I have said I am not a shoe person - but when I am it is ankle shoes) Knitwear, Shoulder bags and the Garbo Look (for me it was her wearing of great trousers) In the same section I liked Gillian Vadgama from (Wallis) and Anita Borzyszowska (from Gap) choices and comments.
There are some great cheapish necklaces about at the moment with many and varied bangles again these are passions of mine, I love the ethnic/South American look.
RECENT PURCHASE. I am a devotee of second hand shops and I recently found a very pretty knee length skirt in white cotton with a delicate floral 1970's design. It has soft pleats from the waist A nicer version than similar that I have seen in the High Street, I will work it with the white and pink muscle back t shirts that I have (in combination) with pink sandals. I refuse to pay the hellish prices in many of the shops and I could not afford a designer lable. The only ones that I have had are a Paul Costello, evening dress, skirt and Jumper purchased through a factory outlet. I always hunt through sales, patience is a virtue in this.
A good tip is to constantly review your wardrobe, I archive items (in bags and store) and bring out stuff already archived to create current looks. I don't waste anything, if however I really don't want an item any more then it goes to the second hand shops. I also pass on stuff to my teenage step-granddaughter. She is very Cool and loves the theater (she attends a drama club) I don't give her tat, if she doesn't like it then the wardrobe department might like to use it.
Time for a break.
Love Granny
SITUATION UPDATE.
my hair has begun to fall out which has reinforced my decision not to continue with the ice cap treatment. It is not part of the cancer treatment it is about vanity and wanting to keep hair. I may be vain, but hell my hair will grow back and I have always been growing, cuttting and changing the colour of my hair for years. I have been curly and dark, short, blond/purple, red, stripped so what the hell - bald it is. My current colour way for reference is very grey with dark bits, not unlike a badger. My blood count has been low and apparently that shows that the Chemo is working.
I am very pleased to note that the Oncology team for breast cancer (at Queen Marys hospital Sidcup) is mostly staffed by female consultants, led by Dr Rigg. I am comforted by this fact but also proud that the senior posts are women - rock on.
Yesterday I drove to Chigwell - see down but not out - to meet up with my team (work) we had a BBQ and I sat in the sun and watched Dogs and Children running around. My journey was 10 miles and I went over the Thames via the Woolwich Free Ferry which is my favourite way to do this trip.
Let's keep the Woolwich Free Ferry running, imagine the use it will get during the 2012 Olympics.
On the 9th August I have my second chemo so I may not be posting so much following that, depends on my reaction to treatment.
Love Granny
I am very pleased to note that the Oncology team for breast cancer (at Queen Marys hospital Sidcup) is mostly staffed by female consultants, led by Dr Rigg. I am comforted by this fact but also proud that the senior posts are women - rock on.
Yesterday I drove to Chigwell - see down but not out - to meet up with my team (work) we had a BBQ and I sat in the sun and watched Dogs and Children running around. My journey was 10 miles and I went over the Thames via the Woolwich Free Ferry which is my favourite way to do this trip.
Let's keep the Woolwich Free Ferry running, imagine the use it will get during the 2012 Olympics.
On the 9th August I have my second chemo so I may not be posting so much following that, depends on my reaction to treatment.
Love Granny
Friday, August 04, 2006
WALKING IN GRAVEYARDS?
It may seem strange given my current health condition that Mick and I choose to walk in the graveyard at the back of our house.
For us it is a link to the history of the area and a place of quiet reflection. We remember others suffering and pain. Every grave has a story. We meditate and consider our own thoughts.
There are a large number of traditional travelling family (Romany) family graves the Lee's, Smith's and Brazil's to name but three. The graves have a distinctive ornate style and often give many family members details.
There are 68 graves which are defined as war graves, First and Second World War and includes 2 Home Guard. Most particular in interest is the Grave of a RFC officer 2nd Lt John Hardie of the Royal Flying Corps who died age 19 on 05/02/1918 (one of the early few) the grave is not a traditional war grave it is unique and in need of repair.
Our own particular favourite since it is feet from our wall is the grave of Reginal George Fair LOWTHER a Petty Officer Stoker RH who died 23.09.1944. He lies under a small oak tree which is so appropriate given the tradition in the Navy of HEARTS OF OAK.
There is a most important recently restored memorial to the 13 victims of the Slade Green explosion on Monday 18/02/1924 (8.45 - 9am) when 12 young women aged 16 -24 and their foreman died following an explosion that occured while they were 'breaking down' Verey Light cartridges - an extension of war munitions work. It fits so well with my research into the work available to women in the interwar period. See BEXLEY EXTRA 24/02/2006 page 14 for full story.
I will attach some pictures from the location.
Never ignore graveyards, visit them where ever you go to find out about the history of an area and the nature of death and rememberance rituals. Indispensable if researching family history.
Love Granny
For us it is a link to the history of the area and a place of quiet reflection. We remember others suffering and pain. Every grave has a story. We meditate and consider our own thoughts.
There are a large number of traditional travelling family (Romany) family graves the Lee's, Smith's and Brazil's to name but three. The graves have a distinctive ornate style and often give many family members details.
There are 68 graves which are defined as war graves, First and Second World War and includes 2 Home Guard. Most particular in interest is the Grave of a RFC officer 2nd Lt John Hardie of the Royal Flying Corps who died age 19 on 05/02/1918 (one of the early few) the grave is not a traditional war grave it is unique and in need of repair.
Our own particular favourite since it is feet from our wall is the grave of Reginal George Fair LOWTHER a Petty Officer Stoker RH who died 23.09.1944. He lies under a small oak tree which is so appropriate given the tradition in the Navy of HEARTS OF OAK.
There is a most important recently restored memorial to the 13 victims of the Slade Green explosion on Monday 18/02/1924 (8.45 - 9am) when 12 young women aged 16 -24 and their foreman died following an explosion that occured while they were 'breaking down' Verey Light cartridges - an extension of war munitions work. It fits so well with my research into the work available to women in the interwar period. See BEXLEY EXTRA 24/02/2006 page 14 for full story.
I will attach some pictures from the location.
Never ignore graveyards, visit them where ever you go to find out about the history of an area and the nature of death and rememberance rituals. Indispensable if researching family history.
Love Granny
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
IT'S A FASHION THING!
Last year when I was diagnosed with gall stones (Yes it has been that kind of year) I was a size 20 and rather Rubinesque. I learnt that I needed to cut down on my fat intake, so fat was stopped (most of it) I scoured the internet for self help advice and found some good stuff. I also applied the principles of GI not a diet, just sensible healthy eating and it worked. I dropped to a size 14 and lost my huge hips and arse. I got my waist back. Up to that point despite my love of fashion dressing my figure as I wanted to was impossible, I became a sack person. Buying for the larger figure is difficult but it is possible. I did not particular want to just hide my bulk but make the best of it. Fashion - ie the trend to expose tummies, is not quite what I had in mind, it accentuates the rolls of fat rather than enhances for the best, this style makes you look even fatter than you really are.
The secret is to decide what about yourself you like, eyes, hair, shoulders etc and accentuate or flatter these areas. Overwhelming yourself with too much or a mix of colours does not work drab isn't the answer either. Look critically at youself and then use colour swatches to identify the right colour ways for your own colouring, put together some colours in the same tonal range, think warm and cool colours there are lots of sites to help you. If you do not like clothes shopping use the wide range of catalogues and take you time to think and try on (keep or send back) it is easy but does require some personal engagement in the process.
Accesorise of course, but less is more sometimes, co-ordination helps an overrall look.
At the moment, I am probably stuck in a time warp - a basic knee length denim skirt with t-shirt is my prefered day wear. Summer or Winter - bare tanned legs flip flop type shoe or heels (wedge mule) or with thick tights and boots. I also love my short demin jacket day or evening. I am not a big coat person. I belt my skirt with either a sparkly scarf or a bright citrus green. Not everybody likes or can wear the Flip Flop shoe with its toe post, I love them since I basically hate wearing shoes and would rather go bare foot. There are some really beautiful shoes like these around at affordable prices. I love the ethnic leather style, and my basics are black leather. Some can be really very 'Blingy' some now have kitten heels - if you go for this look, please take care of your feet, ugly feet do not look good nor does dry skin.
My biggest problem area is my puffy tummy, still there even after weight loss. Problem is due to lack of tummy excercise and muscle tone and the female bloating thing. My other key item at the moment is the bright skinny long line muscle back vests available in most high street shops, this allows my scar under my arm to be expose, but not too much, to the air to aid healing. It is not to gross I promise you. I tuck tshirt into my demin skirt and it stays in place.
I love the following fashion web site www.fashion-era.com which looks at history of fashion but gives up to date trends.
Please forget the long or short - shorts - ugh
Do look at Linen and Broderie Anglais tops with a nice linen skirt short or long (much better than shorts)
Avoid too many flounces but do not discount. Less is more.
Glad to see that skinnies and leggins are back, look great with a Ra Ra skirt of long line kaftans or jumpers.
I do not see myself as a FASHIONISTA but I am very clear about what I like. I am basically a Boho babe with a smarter sophisticated version for work. I am big into long ethnic skirts. Black is my favourite colour and I like the hour glass figure in the current trends. I am a huge Monsoon and East fan great places for ideas even if I cannot afford to buy regularly. I look in Matalan, Peacocks, Primark and Select for cheaper affordale options. Be selective in these shops, look at material and stiching. If the item only lasts a season, so be it. I do have a number of more expensive items that I have had for years that are go any wear do anything items. An example is a skinny, long ribbed black knitted dress (sleeveless) with a round neck, and side slit. Works for day with the demim jacket and shoes as previous mentioned ( vaired by use of a range of belts and accesories) in the evening with bling (actually pearls look stunning) and perhaps a shawl/scarf addition and higher heels (which makes the legs look fab with that slit)
I am not a bra person, but recently due to the circumstances I have had to sucumb - pretty bras work but all bras must be well fitted, get your self measures properly and find out that all important cup size. I also need to use the crop top soft type bra tops.
Catalogues vary in quality season on season so check them all out, This season I like Littlewoods and La Redoute.
They size well, for example cater for Tall, Reg and Petit in some ranges. THEY DO A REASONABLE SIZE RANGE 8 -26 IN SOME ITEMS.
In Littlewoods I like (Autumn/Winter)
a) page 11 on the Love Label the simple dress at £45 a good purchase as you will get wear out of it .
b) page 14 no 9 the Full Circle Skirt. Cost £35
c) page16 no 1 Maxi Belted Cardigan at £50
d) page 20 no2 Denim Military Jacket £40 LOVE IT
e) page 23 All the items and looks here are good and I would buy for myself.
f) page 33 item 9 SIMPLE EFFECTIVE DRESS to dress up of down. £40
g) page 34 items 4 and 5 Tunic and ruched leggings.
h) page 44 Morgan Jacket and skirt (this would be my chosen work look) expensive at £99 and £55
i) page 49 item 3 knitted dress up to size 16 (I have something similar in black, and I love it with trousers, jeans or leggings) expensive at £80 (French Connection)
j) Great selection of jeans pages 68 -73
k) page 98 Long Line cable cardigan - fantastic front love this look so much.
l) page 123 great cheaper suit look items 6 and 8 I like this and would buy myself. I love the fish tail back hem, I hate plain ordianry suits, you just blend in with the suited men, women need to stand out from the crowd (My philosophy)
m) page 143 Lace insert dress. not bad at £45
n) page 147 N0 8 Dusty Lavender skirt, LOVE IT at £35
o) page 148/9 fantastic Nichoas Millington outfits, love them and up to size 20
p) page 150 A MUST HAVE item 3 a cream beaded shrug. £45
q) page 157 item 7 Amanda Wakeley evening dress fab look and colour is dreamy satin at £89
r) page 159 item 9 another Amanda Wakeley dress for evening fab in chocolate at £89 in gorgette (would look spectacular with the shrug I mentioned)
s) page 162/3 item 3 green satin blouse and 6 and 7 Jacket and trouser teamed together would look great at that all important meeting - with smart good quality leather (black) brief case and smart clean black shoes. Don't over do but try an individual brooch. I have also always worn a breast cancer ribbon when at important meetings.
t) page 175 item 9 a wrape in jade or black, fantastic item for hols goes with skirts, jeans, dress or whatever - probably most useful in black.
u) page 185 not a bad suite for work and £55 and perhaps in lighter shade for summer meetings
A big No No Please No, is the look on page 30, God that blouse is horrendous.
They have some good basics and do stuff for expectant mums.
They have an on line site so you can see what you think of my selection www.littlewoods.com see if you can guess which items I mean!!!!
The Sunday Mail - You, magazine and Sunday Times style magazine are where I check out the trends weekly.
Some good looks in my favourite mags, INSTYLE and GLAMOUR.
I am following the trend, my Mum is known as the Wardrobe Mistress a collector of clothes since the 1940's (yes) you should see her house. She had an article written about her and it says everything about care for clothes before rampant comsumerism. Find it on line - Southern Daily Echo Weekend Magazine Jan 24-30 2004 by Kate Thompson.
Another look you will see me in is very Juliette Greco (who?-look it up)
Black trousers, Black long skinny knit jumper, flat black pointed shoes (leather) and faded 15 year old 3/4 length Black Leather Jacket raglan seleve with many changes of button (must be black) I can do the moody look as well very menacing.
PS I love window shopping at Bluewater (well, WHEN) Fancy a coffee?
Love granny
The secret is to decide what about yourself you like, eyes, hair, shoulders etc and accentuate or flatter these areas. Overwhelming yourself with too much or a mix of colours does not work drab isn't the answer either. Look critically at youself and then use colour swatches to identify the right colour ways for your own colouring, put together some colours in the same tonal range, think warm and cool colours there are lots of sites to help you. If you do not like clothes shopping use the wide range of catalogues and take you time to think and try on (keep or send back) it is easy but does require some personal engagement in the process.
Accesorise of course, but less is more sometimes, co-ordination helps an overrall look.
My current fashion notes are as follows.
At the moment, I am probably stuck in a time warp - a basic knee length denim skirt with t-shirt is my prefered day wear. Summer or Winter - bare tanned legs flip flop type shoe or heels (wedge mule) or with thick tights and boots. I also love my short demin jacket day or evening. I am not a big coat person. I belt my skirt with either a sparkly scarf or a bright citrus green. Not everybody likes or can wear the Flip Flop shoe with its toe post, I love them since I basically hate wearing shoes and would rather go bare foot. There are some really beautiful shoes like these around at affordable prices. I love the ethnic leather style, and my basics are black leather. Some can be really very 'Blingy' some now have kitten heels - if you go for this look, please take care of your feet, ugly feet do not look good nor does dry skin.
My biggest problem area is my puffy tummy, still there even after weight loss. Problem is due to lack of tummy excercise and muscle tone and the female bloating thing. My other key item at the moment is the bright skinny long line muscle back vests available in most high street shops, this allows my scar under my arm to be expose, but not too much, to the air to aid healing. It is not to gross I promise you. I tuck tshirt into my demin skirt and it stays in place.
I love the following fashion web site www.fashion-era.com which looks at history of fashion but gives up to date trends.
Please forget the long or short - shorts - ugh
Do look at Linen and Broderie Anglais tops with a nice linen skirt short or long (much better than shorts)
Avoid too many flounces but do not discount. Less is more.
Glad to see that skinnies and leggins are back, look great with a Ra Ra skirt of long line kaftans or jumpers.
I do not see myself as a FASHIONISTA but I am very clear about what I like. I am basically a Boho babe with a smarter sophisticated version for work. I am big into long ethnic skirts. Black is my favourite colour and I like the hour glass figure in the current trends. I am a huge Monsoon and East fan great places for ideas even if I cannot afford to buy regularly. I look in Matalan, Peacocks, Primark and Select for cheaper affordale options. Be selective in these shops, look at material and stiching. If the item only lasts a season, so be it. I do have a number of more expensive items that I have had for years that are go any wear do anything items. An example is a skinny, long ribbed black knitted dress (sleeveless) with a round neck, and side slit. Works for day with the demim jacket and shoes as previous mentioned ( vaired by use of a range of belts and accesories) in the evening with bling (actually pearls look stunning) and perhaps a shawl/scarf addition and higher heels (which makes the legs look fab with that slit)
I am not a bra person, but recently due to the circumstances I have had to sucumb - pretty bras work but all bras must be well fitted, get your self measures properly and find out that all important cup size. I also need to use the crop top soft type bra tops.
Catalogues vary in quality season on season so check them all out, This season I like Littlewoods and La Redoute.
They size well, for example cater for Tall, Reg and Petit in some ranges. THEY DO A REASONABLE SIZE RANGE 8 -26 IN SOME ITEMS.
In Littlewoods I like (Autumn/Winter)
a) page 11 on the Love Label the simple dress at £45 a good purchase as you will get wear out of it .
b) page 14 no 9 the Full Circle Skirt. Cost £35
c) page16 no 1 Maxi Belted Cardigan at £50
d) page 20 no2 Denim Military Jacket £40 LOVE IT
e) page 23 All the items and looks here are good and I would buy for myself.
f) page 33 item 9 SIMPLE EFFECTIVE DRESS to dress up of down. £40
g) page 34 items 4 and 5 Tunic and ruched leggings.
h) page 44 Morgan Jacket and skirt (this would be my chosen work look) expensive at £99 and £55
i) page 49 item 3 knitted dress up to size 16 (I have something similar in black, and I love it with trousers, jeans or leggings) expensive at £80 (French Connection)
j) Great selection of jeans pages 68 -73
k) page 98 Long Line cable cardigan - fantastic front love this look so much.
l) page 123 great cheaper suit look items 6 and 8 I like this and would buy myself. I love the fish tail back hem, I hate plain ordianry suits, you just blend in with the suited men, women need to stand out from the crowd (My philosophy)
m) page 143 Lace insert dress. not bad at £45
n) page 147 N0 8 Dusty Lavender skirt, LOVE IT at £35
o) page 148/9 fantastic Nichoas Millington outfits, love them and up to size 20
p) page 150 A MUST HAVE item 3 a cream beaded shrug. £45
q) page 157 item 7 Amanda Wakeley evening dress fab look and colour is dreamy satin at £89
r) page 159 item 9 another Amanda Wakeley dress for evening fab in chocolate at £89 in gorgette (would look spectacular with the shrug I mentioned)
s) page 162/3 item 3 green satin blouse and 6 and 7 Jacket and trouser teamed together would look great at that all important meeting - with smart good quality leather (black) brief case and smart clean black shoes. Don't over do but try an individual brooch. I have also always worn a breast cancer ribbon when at important meetings.
t) page 175 item 9 a wrape in jade or black, fantastic item for hols goes with skirts, jeans, dress or whatever - probably most useful in black.
u) page 185 not a bad suite for work and £55 and perhaps in lighter shade for summer meetings
A big No No Please No, is the look on page 30, God that blouse is horrendous.
They have some good basics and do stuff for expectant mums.
They have an on line site so you can see what you think of my selection www.littlewoods.com see if you can guess which items I mean!!!!
The Sunday Mail - You, magazine and Sunday Times style magazine are where I check out the trends weekly.
Some good looks in my favourite mags, INSTYLE and GLAMOUR.
I am following the trend, my Mum is known as the Wardrobe Mistress a collector of clothes since the 1940's (yes) you should see her house. She had an article written about her and it says everything about care for clothes before rampant comsumerism. Find it on line - Southern Daily Echo Weekend Magazine Jan 24-30 2004 by Kate Thompson.
Another look you will see me in is very Juliette Greco (who?-look it up)
Black trousers, Black long skinny knit jumper, flat black pointed shoes (leather) and faded 15 year old 3/4 length Black Leather Jacket raglan seleve with many changes of button (must be black) I can do the moody look as well very menacing.
PS I love window shopping at Bluewater (well, WHEN) Fancy a coffee?
Love granny
Monday, July 31, 2006
BULLYING
I recognise the nature of bullying is very damaging for the bullied. I am aware many young people out there may be victims and perhaps are afraid to speak up. Today I read a article by Dr Tanya Byron in The Times 31/07/2006 (Times2 section) p 11. She wrote in response to a parent who's child was being bullied and her response was sensible and reasoned. It should be on line.
Children should contact Child Line 0800 1111 and talk to their expert consellors. (Free)
Parents of victims should try 0808 8002222 called Parentline Plus. (Free)
Please also look at www.dfes.gov.uk/bullying.
The law protects you from physical assault but abusive behaviour is hard to prove however remember that a school or work place should have a robust policy against abuse and discrimination on grounds of sex, race, disability supported by legislation and the Human Rights Act in the case of Schools as public authority bodies they have a duty to protect victims of bullying. It isimportant to keep a diary, containing the day, date time and place of the bullying activity, who it was, what they were wearing - in other words discribe them. I think you need to understand that you need to identify the bully to the right people, remembering that they will defend themselves against this allegation. Do not be put off. Who was all there (discriptions of all if possible) is very important. I also suggest that if you disclose to someone in authority, note the response you get. Keep e mails, texts and letters these are hard evidence, they can be traced or forensically examined. This way you TAKE CONTROL.
The bully is not a happy person far from it. You find bullies, in the street, driving a car, in school, in work, and in relationships. They are not happy so they want to make your life unhappy.
My own approach is to say to myself, more fool them they don't know me and now they never will. I condemn them in my mind to a friendless existence, very unchristian I know. If people want to hurt me with words, I could easily give as good back - but what is the point, bully's win if the bullied reacts. What a bully hates most is to be ignored, because they are not the centre of your attention. In my experience if one person is being bullied then so are others, so band together be a team, not to 'take on' the bully but to stand united. Bullies rely on the fear of their 'friends' to back them up. Two, three or four 'bullied people' are not such an easy target, the bully seeks to isolate the victim.
It is like the 'flasher' who's thrill is the shock of the victim, if you are not shocked even laugh at them they are deflated. Of course it is always simple for others to say - do this, that or the other. Remember you are not alone, seek help.
NEVER CARRY A WEAPON TO DEFEND YOURSELF
never carry a KNIFE or a GUN. What once is done, cannot be undone however remorseful a person is after using a weapon. Carry an attack alarm, what the bully does not want is attention brought to themselves.
Children should contact Child Line 0800 1111 and talk to their expert consellors. (Free)
Parents of victims should try 0808 8002222 called Parentline Plus. (Free)
Please also look at www.dfes.gov.uk/bullying.
The law protects you from physical assault but abusive behaviour is hard to prove however remember that a school or work place should have a robust policy against abuse and discrimination on grounds of sex, race, disability supported by legislation and the Human Rights Act in the case of Schools as public authority bodies they have a duty to protect victims of bullying. It isimportant to keep a diary, containing the day, date time and place of the bullying activity, who it was, what they were wearing - in other words discribe them. I think you need to understand that you need to identify the bully to the right people, remembering that they will defend themselves against this allegation. Do not be put off. Who was all there (discriptions of all if possible) is very important. I also suggest that if you disclose to someone in authority, note the response you get. Keep e mails, texts and letters these are hard evidence, they can be traced or forensically examined. This way you TAKE CONTROL.
The bully is not a happy person far from it. You find bullies, in the street, driving a car, in school, in work, and in relationships. They are not happy so they want to make your life unhappy.
My own approach is to say to myself, more fool them they don't know me and now they never will. I condemn them in my mind to a friendless existence, very unchristian I know. If people want to hurt me with words, I could easily give as good back - but what is the point, bully's win if the bullied reacts. What a bully hates most is to be ignored, because they are not the centre of your attention. In my experience if one person is being bullied then so are others, so band together be a team, not to 'take on' the bully but to stand united. Bullies rely on the fear of their 'friends' to back them up. Two, three or four 'bullied people' are not such an easy target, the bully seeks to isolate the victim.
It is like the 'flasher' who's thrill is the shock of the victim, if you are not shocked even laugh at them they are deflated. Of course it is always simple for others to say - do this, that or the other. Remember you are not alone, seek help.
NEVER CARRY A WEAPON TO DEFEND YOURSELF
never carry a KNIFE or a GUN. What once is done, cannot be undone however remorseful a person is after using a weapon. Carry an attack alarm, what the bully does not want is attention brought to themselves.
AND SOMETHING ELSE
Basic common sense saftey when out.
Basic common sense saftey when out.
EMPOWER YOURSELF.
1) Tell someone where you are going and when you will be back or write down and leave it at home for others to read.2) Carry a mobile phone topped up (BUT NOT ON SHOW)
3) Do not carry your valuables in one place, spread around your person, keys in one place, wallet another. At the very least carry some cash on you for emergency purposes, do not put any where obvious - where a robber might look, speed for the robber is of the essence.
4) If you want to wear good jewellery at an event do not wear to or from venue. What can not be seen can not be taken. Victims are picked for what they have ie mobile phones, MP3 players etc.
5) You need to react so be aware of your surroundings, names of roads, road surface, lighting and who is where and doing what. Never hug a wall, if safe walk down centre of road (not a busy road obviously, basically away from cover that might hide someone.
6) I carry an alarm with a small pin point torch, give yourself a chance to see.
7) A personal choice of mine is to carry a small bag on a long strap that I wear across my shoulder and under a coat or jumper I am wearing - for night times and visits to London using tubes, buses or trains.
8) Know where your keys are.
9) Shoes - if you need to run get those heels off, shoes can be replaced.
10) Act decisively in any situation but never fight back if you don't think you can win, live to fight another day.
11) Be very careful when out drinking, keep a close watch on your drink, it takes no time at all to add a drug. When someone has had a couple of drinks it becomes more difficult to know when the alcohol level has been raised.
These are purely my thoughts, they are about how I go about London. I cannot say that these will protect you - no one is attack proof. This is about stacking the odds in your favour.
Love to all Granny xxx
Sunday, July 30, 2006
GETTING TO THE CORE
I have taken to Blog hopping recently, as a result I have become so concerned about the apparent high number of children, teenagers out there who appear lonely, bullied, disillusioned and demotivated. This in my view makes them ideal targets for unwanted attention by those who seek to abuse.
Life is never easy, it does not fall into easy or comfortable sections just because - out there in commercial land - we are told it should.
If we are fat or thin, short or tall, male, female, transexual, bisexual, homosexual or any thing else we should be defined by who we are as individuals not as a carbon copy human being.
As the old saying says 'SX!# happens' what needs to happen is to rise above it. I hate people who say, if "I can do such and such so can you" because they simply imply and instill failure in the other person.
We need to be true to ourselves and our dreams, not someone elses.
This does not mean that this gives us the right to excuse ourselves from 'acting, doing and being'
To do anything other than engage with life is to give up on life. How you engage is up to the individual - I will not presume to ever offer advice. I am jotting down my feelings and personal ideology developed over 51 years of life experience.
SO WHO AM I? It ws not until the later years of my life that I discovered that the depressive periods I had experienced (for which I was treated, and remain on medication for) had roots in some very strange places.
I can first recall being 'depressed' as a child of 6 when my Grandmother died on my Birthday. I blamed myself for her death, because it was on my birthday. I feared death and often could not sleep because I feared I would never wake up. I was no longer the blond curly haired mini person that I had been. I morphed into a skinny, nervous, rebel unable to talk to my parents.
By the time I was a teenager, around 13 my grandfather came to live with us - he was ill and I resented him. He invaded our space why could he not look after himself. I was of course selfish in youth not to realise the frailty of age and diminished ability. My mother cared for him, and I shared a room with my brother, just when I started my periods which of course drove me to hate that process. I hated that to be a woman I had to go through this monthly nightmare.
I wanted to be a Marxist, I was a Che fan, I wore black, beatnic style, later Hippy, later Punk.
I was and remain anti Vietnam war, I wanted/want an equal world, with equal opportunity. I was ever mindful failing to achieve my potential which I did spectacularly.
At 15, following my grandfathers death, we had a car crash. I hurt my face, I was scarred how ever small ( I lost two front teeth) I was unable to smile again for years embarassed by the face I presented to the world. I was told often to hold my head up and look people in the eye, but I did not want to so I retreated into my shell. Do you know? No one noticed because they were busy with their own lives, troubles and woes. I regret bitterly not engaging more with Granddad, he is gone and I can't ask those important questions in order to know him. I look endlessly at pictures of the 'old family' I have worked on my family tree. Talk to you family ask questions, when it is too late, it is too late. This is about your roots, your history and vital when seeking to understand yourself.
I wanted to be Germaine Greer I wanted to be bright, intelligent and challenging but I would always be trapped by middle England values. I had been Christened and confirmed I had been a Sunday School teacher but lost my faith in any God. You cannot impose faith it has to come from inside. For years I wore a Star of David in recognition of my need to atone for the ills of the world. I removed it years later in despair of believing that indeed 'an eye for an eye' was not the way forward but retrograde and doomed for disaster. I battled with understanding what was happening in Northern Ireland between and in the name of Christian Churches. No one should kill in the name of God, most kill for personal power.
I was 17 and half when I was raped, by a man I knew, whom I thought liked me. Besotted by his manner he was some 6 years my senior and a soldier. I was an ugly duckling, never in the IN CROWD never with a boyfriend. I lost my virginity in a rainy wood against my will. I was in the middle of my period, I was left bloody and bewildered. I remember the detail of my betrayal - I was the victim of a bet as to who could get the 'grimmer' to have sex. This is a 'boys game' which now finds expression in date rape drug scenarios. I remained silent because I knew I would get the blame, it had to be my fault. He was very violent and I thought he would kill me. It remained unreported until recently. I have tried all my working life to help victims of sexual assualt and domestic violence to try and deal with the fact that I did not speak up. This was a very dark period. I was in constant mental and physical pain.
I only told my story about the rape to my family recently.
I married in 1975 too young and divorced latter. I had always drank my problems away and this was no exception. Believe me living through the bottle does not work.
My relationships have as a result nearly always been - brinkmanship.
I gave up men for a long time except for quick flings with no emotional contact.
What I have now has lasted for 16 years so, I say this relationships can work but they take hard work. They don't magically become. My partner saw me through my worst depression. I worked hard to find answers, with the help of council, friendship and medication. I learnt to love myself, raise myself up, educated myself. I always am prepared to listen to those in distress. I walk with my head high, I do not let people bully me or put me down. I value my own ideas and yes on occasions I can be a touch arrogant. I expect better of people because I expect better of and for myself.
I resolved a lot of the baggage when I was having counselling, later supported by medication. Talking to a third, non involved, party allows you to be honest with yourself. I have stragtergies in place to manage the fear of my dark days.
I am against 'Forced Marriage' I am against the traffic of women and children for sex. I stand against Domestic Violence. I am against drug use and I blame drug growers/manufactures and dealers for the destruction of indiviudals in the millions - in my view a genocide. I blame high profile individuals drug use in making it cool. I stand foresquare against sex tourism. I condem the use of knives and guns on our urban streets. Drugs, Guns etc make money for the few who control the supply - what better way to under mine society than to kill the children with their own hand.
I have twice tried to kill myself, but life believe me is worth living. I like to look and feel good - ill or not ill.
My personal faith is just that personal, I pray, I wonder, I ask. Most importantly I do not believe anyone should tell you what you should believe. I do not tell you what your faith should be.
Come on Kids. Please try. TO LIFE Love Granny.
Life is never easy, it does not fall into easy or comfortable sections just because - out there in commercial land - we are told it should.
If we are fat or thin, short or tall, male, female, transexual, bisexual, homosexual or any thing else we should be defined by who we are as individuals not as a carbon copy human being.
As the old saying says 'SX!# happens' what needs to happen is to rise above it. I hate people who say, if "I can do such and such so can you" because they simply imply and instill failure in the other person.
We need to be true to ourselves and our dreams, not someone elses.
This does not mean that this gives us the right to excuse ourselves from 'acting, doing and being'
To do anything other than engage with life is to give up on life. How you engage is up to the individual - I will not presume to ever offer advice. I am jotting down my feelings and personal ideology developed over 51 years of life experience.
SO WHO AM I? It ws not until the later years of my life that I discovered that the depressive periods I had experienced (for which I was treated, and remain on medication for) had roots in some very strange places.
I can first recall being 'depressed' as a child of 6 when my Grandmother died on my Birthday. I blamed myself for her death, because it was on my birthday. I feared death and often could not sleep because I feared I would never wake up. I was no longer the blond curly haired mini person that I had been. I morphed into a skinny, nervous, rebel unable to talk to my parents.
By the time I was a teenager, around 13 my grandfather came to live with us - he was ill and I resented him. He invaded our space why could he not look after himself. I was of course selfish in youth not to realise the frailty of age and diminished ability. My mother cared for him, and I shared a room with my brother, just when I started my periods which of course drove me to hate that process. I hated that to be a woman I had to go through this monthly nightmare.
I wanted to be a Marxist, I was a Che fan, I wore black, beatnic style, later Hippy, later Punk.
I was and remain anti Vietnam war, I wanted/want an equal world, with equal opportunity. I was ever mindful failing to achieve my potential which I did spectacularly.
At 15, following my grandfathers death, we had a car crash. I hurt my face, I was scarred how ever small ( I lost two front teeth) I was unable to smile again for years embarassed by the face I presented to the world. I was told often to hold my head up and look people in the eye, but I did not want to so I retreated into my shell. Do you know? No one noticed because they were busy with their own lives, troubles and woes. I regret bitterly not engaging more with Granddad, he is gone and I can't ask those important questions in order to know him. I look endlessly at pictures of the 'old family' I have worked on my family tree. Talk to you family ask questions, when it is too late, it is too late. This is about your roots, your history and vital when seeking to understand yourself.
I wanted to be Germaine Greer I wanted to be bright, intelligent and challenging but I would always be trapped by middle England values. I had been Christened and confirmed I had been a Sunday School teacher but lost my faith in any God. You cannot impose faith it has to come from inside. For years I wore a Star of David in recognition of my need to atone for the ills of the world. I removed it years later in despair of believing that indeed 'an eye for an eye' was not the way forward but retrograde and doomed for disaster. I battled with understanding what was happening in Northern Ireland between and in the name of Christian Churches. No one should kill in the name of God, most kill for personal power.
I was 17 and half when I was raped, by a man I knew, whom I thought liked me. Besotted by his manner he was some 6 years my senior and a soldier. I was an ugly duckling, never in the IN CROWD never with a boyfriend. I lost my virginity in a rainy wood against my will. I was in the middle of my period, I was left bloody and bewildered. I remember the detail of my betrayal - I was the victim of a bet as to who could get the 'grimmer' to have sex. This is a 'boys game' which now finds expression in date rape drug scenarios. I remained silent because I knew I would get the blame, it had to be my fault. He was very violent and I thought he would kill me. It remained unreported until recently. I have tried all my working life to help victims of sexual assualt and domestic violence to try and deal with the fact that I did not speak up. This was a very dark period. I was in constant mental and physical pain.
I only told my story about the rape to my family recently.
I married in 1975 too young and divorced latter. I had always drank my problems away and this was no exception. Believe me living through the bottle does not work.
My relationships have as a result nearly always been - brinkmanship.
I gave up men for a long time except for quick flings with no emotional contact.
What I have now has lasted for 16 years so, I say this relationships can work but they take hard work. They don't magically become. My partner saw me through my worst depression. I worked hard to find answers, with the help of council, friendship and medication. I learnt to love myself, raise myself up, educated myself. I always am prepared to listen to those in distress. I walk with my head high, I do not let people bully me or put me down. I value my own ideas and yes on occasions I can be a touch arrogant. I expect better of people because I expect better of and for myself.
I resolved a lot of the baggage when I was having counselling, later supported by medication. Talking to a third, non involved, party allows you to be honest with yourself. I have stragtergies in place to manage the fear of my dark days.
I am against 'Forced Marriage' I am against the traffic of women and children for sex. I stand against Domestic Violence. I am against drug use and I blame drug growers/manufactures and dealers for the destruction of indiviudals in the millions - in my view a genocide. I blame high profile individuals drug use in making it cool. I stand foresquare against sex tourism. I condem the use of knives and guns on our urban streets. Drugs, Guns etc make money for the few who control the supply - what better way to under mine society than to kill the children with their own hand.
I have twice tried to kill myself, but life believe me is worth living. I like to look and feel good - ill or not ill.
My personal faith is just that personal, I pray, I wonder, I ask. Most importantly I do not believe anyone should tell you what you should believe. I do not tell you what your faith should be.
Come on Kids. Please try. TO LIFE Love Granny.
Saturday, July 29, 2006
A DAY LIKE ANY OTHER
Today I am in our little office, looking out at our's and our neighbour's garden, over the fence toward the animal sancutary that is the grave yard. Yes! we have a graveyard at the bottom of our garden, full of big fir trees that are home to Woodpeckers, Squirals, and Wood Pigeons amongst others.
It is of course peaceful and I love looking at it and watching life! unfold there.
My neigbour's have a pond full of different types of Lillies, there are Dragon Flies and of course fish. Today the garden is full of butterflies and it is not to warm to enjoy. There is a Squiral doing acrobatics in the biggest tree which is far to enegetic for me. My neighbour is very lucky because thy get the Blue Tits and different finches in their garden, drawn by the traquile nature of the pond, and hanging coconut halves.
Mick took me out for a meal on Thursday night I was desperate for an Indian Meal. He said he had not noticed before but that I was looking ridiculously healthy, 10 years younger in fact and my double chins had gone! nice. What is it that is in this chemo? That is the most bizarre thing, I am feeling better than I could have hoped. I am assured it will be worse, but who cares - I look 10 year younger, yippee. You will see from the picture of me 'dans la' headress that it looks 'tres chic'. My French is of the 'Del Boy' standard as you can see - pretentious 'Moi'.
A big fashion tip coming here, KAFTANS my all time favourite dress (great on it's own, short or long, over jeans, out for a meal, at the beach) My first I brought in 1974 in Morocco in the Casbah they (I brought more than one) were of blue cotton, with white embroidery. Works for Slim or Fuller figure and are comfortable. The 1970's look is back in the shops, I wish I could buy some more, my most recent one is white cotton. A great go anywhere look. It is also very sexy. So much more sexy than fat bellies over jeans! am I just getting old? I am not being fatist just a plea to all who wear the current fad, of short top with trouser or short skirt that exposes naval and tyres - it does you no favours and only works if you are toned. It doesn't even work if you are skinny! If you are pregnant, OK may be but how you dress around the lump makes all the difference.
My new tipple is lots of Clementine juice in a large glass with lots of ice - bliss.
Merlot is a complete blessing, my companion and guard. Mick is nights this weekend so she has a big role to play.
Have a nice day. Love granny
It is of course peaceful and I love looking at it and watching life! unfold there.
My neigbour's have a pond full of different types of Lillies, there are Dragon Flies and of course fish. Today the garden is full of butterflies and it is not to warm to enjoy. There is a Squiral doing acrobatics in the biggest tree which is far to enegetic for me. My neighbour is very lucky because thy get the Blue Tits and different finches in their garden, drawn by the traquile nature of the pond, and hanging coconut halves.
Mick took me out for a meal on Thursday night I was desperate for an Indian Meal. He said he had not noticed before but that I was looking ridiculously healthy, 10 years younger in fact and my double chins had gone! nice. What is it that is in this chemo? That is the most bizarre thing, I am feeling better than I could have hoped. I am assured it will be worse, but who cares - I look 10 year younger, yippee. You will see from the picture of me 'dans la' headress that it looks 'tres chic'. My French is of the 'Del Boy' standard as you can see - pretentious 'Moi'.
A big fashion tip coming here, KAFTANS my all time favourite dress (great on it's own, short or long, over jeans, out for a meal, at the beach) My first I brought in 1974 in Morocco in the Casbah they (I brought more than one) were of blue cotton, with white embroidery. Works for Slim or Fuller figure and are comfortable. The 1970's look is back in the shops, I wish I could buy some more, my most recent one is white cotton. A great go anywhere look. It is also very sexy. So much more sexy than fat bellies over jeans! am I just getting old? I am not being fatist just a plea to all who wear the current fad, of short top with trouser or short skirt that exposes naval and tyres - it does you no favours and only works if you are toned. It doesn't even work if you are skinny! If you are pregnant, OK may be but how you dress around the lump makes all the difference.
My new tipple is lots of Clementine juice in a large glass with lots of ice - bliss.
Merlot is a complete blessing, my companion and guard. Mick is nights this weekend so she has a big role to play.
Have a nice day. Love granny
Friday, July 28, 2006
DISGUSTINGLY HEALTHY
Well I have to say I feel in rude good health - considering. Mick says I look 10 years younger!!!!! Iam fully aware that the build up of treatment will impact very soon but I refuse to be down hearted. I will live full of verve for as long as possible - as the ad says 'VA VA Voom'
Mick took me out for a meal yesterday evening, bliss. Love Grannyxx
Mick took me out for a meal yesterday evening, bliss. Love Grannyxx
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Moving On
I have been really lucky, and only feeing mildly sicky and tired, some hours worse than others. Despite heat had great sleep last night and feel functional today. Yesterday, early, I did go shopping just for an hour to Sainsburys, somehow most important to feel normal. I keep a record of what I do so that I can fill in some forms for hospital about how my situation is, part of research.
I find unsweetend Grapefruit is the best refreshing juice, sharp and clean. I am eating fruit (I love melon) and the snack meals are best - little and regular. What you want is important, what you feel like eating. I had a half glass of red wine last night, nothing horrid happened.
I worry of course that if/when things get worse due to build up of treatment the treats will be less appealing. Love you all, Granny
I find unsweetend Grapefruit is the best refreshing juice, sharp and clean. I am eating fruit (I love melon) and the snack meals are best - little and regular. What you want is important, what you feel like eating. I had a half glass of red wine last night, nothing horrid happened.
I worry of course that if/when things get worse due to build up of treatment the treats will be less appealing. Love you all, Granny
Thursday, July 20, 2006
FIRST TIME
On the 19th I had my first chemo, was scared but it was not as awful as I feared. Fear of the unkown is always worst. Keith my nurse was brilliant and explained everything carefully and was honest. Ice cap ok picuture to be posted later. I ate a little later and slept well, just slight sicky feeling. Temp was fine. I also feel similar to day, maybe more tired than normal. Anyone out there worrying about having chemo, try and be positive, if you loose your hair as I will later, I suggest you be proud, it will grow back and making a statement to others makes them less afraid to talk to you I am sure.
Who knows about tomorrow. For me it is an hour by hour thing. Keep smiling. Granny
Who knows about tomorrow. For me it is an hour by hour thing. Keep smiling. Granny
Saturday, July 15, 2006
A SKELETON DRAFT
I had my scan and the consultant let me see myself as a skeleton, which was amazing and brilliant - I have a skeleton just like the ones you seen in medical schools and such like. We all know of course that this is true but to see youself as a skeleton devoid of your recognisable features is remarkable. Actually a lot can be told about my life from the skeleton, the fall off a scooter when I was five still shows on my knee, my funny tooth in my jaw, the feet and ankles of a high heel and job boot wearer----- all there. The Irish consultant was so funny, I said the scan machine felt like being in a coffin (not that I have been in one -recently) he then told me about Irish wakes, and I said if there is any drinking to be done I was jolly well going to be at my own wake. Mines a pint of Guiness by the way!!!!!!!
We have had a great day today at the Italian Market, the Farm shop and a nice drink in the White Cross Pub. It is beautiful weather and it makes me smile.
Bye for now everybody, keep smiling. Granny
We have had a great day today at the Italian Market, the Farm shop and a nice drink in the White Cross Pub. It is beautiful weather and it makes me smile.
Bye for now everybody, keep smiling. Granny
Thursday, July 13, 2006
THE BUSINESS OF BEING ILL!
The business of illness is extraordinary, I have visited hospitals on my own behalf more in the last 5 weeks than ever in my life. As a patient you view things very differently from when visiting or working (as I have many times in the past) it is a strange world of machines and test. Today is my bone scan, a nuclear x-ray very 'Dr Who'. I cannot imagine it but would love to look at what my body looks like inside, what my structure is.
Happy Hoque the Breast surgeon, yes that is his name, did a lovely sewing up job, if only I was not so lazy at the physio. This meant a visit to see 'The Physio' a lovely girl called Nerys who could have fitted under my arm pit, I felt so tall and small at the same time as she told me off for not stretching enough. I also got to rub my scar, the first time I had touched it (I was afraid to you see) it is as if part of me while there physically is not connected to my brain, numb but not numb.
More tests next week prior to chemo (19th July) this time an abdominal scan and chest x-ray. Apparently the Breast Cancer cells like to migrate to the bones, chest or liver. This made me think of 'Silence of the Lambs' but no Chianti with this liver. As I said a business, but let me say this for the record the treatment, and staff from GP to the cleaner in the ward has been kind and efficient. Well done the NHS in very difficult circumstances. Remember to be a patient patient, there are always those worse off than yourself.
Am I scared? yes I am afraid that I am but I try not to cry, no time for self pity but actually you do need to cry sometimes so I watch 'Touched by an Angel' it allows me to cry for others. I have to say Della Reece has always been a favourite. My other sources of comfort are a book of prayers religon non specific, and the work of Maya Angelou which is inspirational and I am proud to say I saw her in London in conversation on stage and she was stunning and wise.
I read the other day in a paper that if you said you had been a hippy, then you probably had not been. I dispute this, I was one and remain one - proud to be for peace, love and flowers in my hair.
Sentimental oh very definately, I love happy endings to wonderful dreams.
The song that I have chosen to help me through this period is 'stand by me' by Shane Ward he has a fab voice and it means something to Mick and I, I will also listen to the tango, fado music and classical music to lift my spirits on down days.
Let's not forget that 90 years ago during the battle of the Somme the flower of the worlds men died so that there would be no more war, they died it appears in vain because war continues.
In the spirit of the forgiveness let us lay down our arms, we die quick enough as it is.
Happy Hoque the Breast surgeon, yes that is his name, did a lovely sewing up job, if only I was not so lazy at the physio. This meant a visit to see 'The Physio' a lovely girl called Nerys who could have fitted under my arm pit, I felt so tall and small at the same time as she told me off for not stretching enough. I also got to rub my scar, the first time I had touched it (I was afraid to you see) it is as if part of me while there physically is not connected to my brain, numb but not numb.
More tests next week prior to chemo (19th July) this time an abdominal scan and chest x-ray. Apparently the Breast Cancer cells like to migrate to the bones, chest or liver. This made me think of 'Silence of the Lambs' but no Chianti with this liver. As I said a business, but let me say this for the record the treatment, and staff from GP to the cleaner in the ward has been kind and efficient. Well done the NHS in very difficult circumstances. Remember to be a patient patient, there are always those worse off than yourself.
Am I scared? yes I am afraid that I am but I try not to cry, no time for self pity but actually you do need to cry sometimes so I watch 'Touched by an Angel' it allows me to cry for others. I have to say Della Reece has always been a favourite. My other sources of comfort are a book of prayers religon non specific, and the work of Maya Angelou which is inspirational and I am proud to say I saw her in London in conversation on stage and she was stunning and wise.
I read the other day in a paper that if you said you had been a hippy, then you probably had not been. I dispute this, I was one and remain one - proud to be for peace, love and flowers in my hair.
Sentimental oh very definately, I love happy endings to wonderful dreams.
The song that I have chosen to help me through this period is 'stand by me' by Shane Ward he has a fab voice and it means something to Mick and I, I will also listen to the tango, fado music and classical music to lift my spirits on down days.
Let's not forget that 90 years ago during the battle of the Somme the flower of the worlds men died so that there would be no more war, they died it appears in vain because war continues.
In the spirit of the forgiveness let us lay down our arms, we die quick enough as it is.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
BREAST CANCER UPDATE
I have a grade 2 cancer and must have chemotherapy which I am 'happy' to have (well you know what I mean) I am dealing with this in an as upfront way as I can. No time for tears, get on and get the job done. I have posted a couple of pictures for reference and wonder what my new self might look like. Chemo date is 19th July. Love to all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)