The rain was coming down, heavy and straight down, almost like a sheet of water. I noticed a feather, a tiny white curly feather and it was twisting and floating 'across' this down pour, pushed against the water as if by magic, unhurried, not bothered just doing it's thing despite what must have been great pressure, incredible. I have also just seen a young Woodpecker in the pine, just sitting there looking a bit wet and bedraggled.
It reminded me of how I view life and what I want for other women. I look back at the history of womens suffrage and rights and then I look at women today and wonder what have we achieved because we still buy into partriarchy. I want women to be better than men, by that I mean not doing things the male way. I want women to be above violence and survival of the fittest nor motivated by greed and power. I look at the girls who hang around in gangs (nothing new I must say) I look at them because they are stuck in the rut of group identitiy and not individuality. I find that very boring, and a waste of time. They lack direction and ambition and all that has been won on their behalf, health, education and opportunity are as if for nothing. I want them to have something better than what I had, and that was what the struggle has been about. CHANCE AND CHOICE and not having to settle for marriage and kids with just some fella is what I want for the girls now and in the future. Marriage is fine, if it is a partnership, love is fine if founded on mutual respect and children are important if they are wanted and loved not just something that happens after quick bonk.
These girls dress alike, and appear to see that the icons of celebrity are the ones to aspire to, when in fact it is so transient as to be unimportant. Money and glamour never last, beauty is also fragile and will disintergrate. That life is disposable and easily thrown away.
I watched a programme the other night called 'Bus Pass boob jobs' with people (over 60) seeking to hold on to a vision of their youth with boob jobs, tummy tucks and face lifts. WHY, it was so sad, especially when they really analysed why they wanted this, it was about being lonely and alone, following failed marriages - one man over 70 actually was prepared to risk his life (the action of anathstetic on his body) to take his face back to the way it was when he was in his prime. He even nearly collapsed just having botox injections. !!!!!!! It is just your face, over time it becomes the record of your life and we should be proud of this. I am so against breast augmentation and the want to have big boobs, just buys into male fantasy, a size 'ff' is rediculous.
Having just had a lump removed from my left breast, I can say with some knowledge that I would rather have a healthy boob than a size double D. I now have a large scar and a slightly misshapen boob, but it is mine and if I should in the future have to loose a breast - so be it. The only reason it becomes an issue for women is because men tell us they will not love us if we are not as they wish, or by their reaction they imply that they are turned off by us. If this is the case, you are better of without the man. I am so lucky that Mick has been so supportive, I never once felt under threat. If I had, I would have left to deal with it on my own.
I want to be 70 years of age and still doing things, reading, writing, painting - living rather than consigning myself to the trash heap of other peoples expectations. I know it might sound contradictory, when I have just trashed the choice of some elderly people to go under the knife, but actually I am not saying grow old gracefully as per my expectations, I am saying don't punish yourself for growing old, because growing old is what we all do it is part of life.
My greatest saddness this week has been when a father jumped with his two kids 50 feet from a balcony while on holiday. Following a row, he killed his 6 year old son. The fear that child experienced in that moment cannot be imagined. THIS WAS A FAMILY ROW. The father can't remember what happened - his daughter who survived will. The parents will blame each other of course. Parents, mum or dad, who kill their children when they themselves are depressed are not displaying their love for their kids just their complete disregard for them. There is a little star shining in the sky for this little boy and because I believe in a God, he is with God. I can understand why the Greek public were so angry, they are a very family oriented people and they would not have understood this. There will be many excuses, such as drink, depression and pills for this man's action, but I cannot find it in my heart to forgive him. It is likely he was trying to punish his wife for wanting to leave him. As I say so many times, children are not our possessions to be fought over or demanded in settlement, they are a precious gift.
'Shine on little light who brought such joy.
Look down and with love care for your sister.'
Love from Granny
