SPLENDID

Mick took me to Whistable today, I have never been before. What a lovely place, THE PLACE for fish, great shops and restaurants. It has a beach, not sand but a great place to walk. Becoming very trendy.

We also saw James and Shannon, who are due to start school in September, can you believe it. They were so pleased to see Grandad!!!! we have new pictures soon to be posted.

My heart is still with all those who are in the flood area. But who is caring for all the animals?

I must again say the Paul Potts is superb, I lay in bed the other night listening to the album - I was in heaven. I will play it at work tomorrow.

We believe the robin chicks are due to fledge soon. Yesterday Mick, Jon and I heard them when they were being fed. The poor robin parents have been working so hard. I saw one of them fly into the Fence, totally disoriented but not knocked out. The weather has not helped. Sadly we will not see them go, they will use the times when we are not in. What have we learnt.... to love our Robins. We have had the priviledge of watching nature close to. Who could ask for better.

My brother celebrated his 47th Birthday on 20th July, congratulations for that.


Let us pray for peace for all.

Love Grannyxxxxx

STILL HAVING ISSUES

Clearly I have not done to well with labelling my pictures on the blog, sorry.

I have to tell you I have just made a big discovery - Paul Potts, a fabulous voice, he made me go goose pimply. I have the album and it is on my walkman.

THREE CHEERS

I saw my consultant last Friday and was given another cancer free six months. YIPEE, I am now full hours but restricted duties.

Sadly Mandy has had good news, her tumour had grown back and she must start the last of her three sessions of Chemo. My heart is with her as ever.

This morning I watched a tabby cat being defeated by two robins defending their nests, amasing. they pushed her higher into the tree in our nighbours garden. Their tales were up, and the alarm call was going full on. Tabby then made it down, but made for the fish pond to look at the gold fish. the along came a white and ginger cat and off sent tabby!!!!! better than Eastenders this.

I had a training day today and it went well. So after a year I am back at full potential.

Mum is so much better as well.

I HAVE BEEN TARDY

Due to problems with my server and things I have not been able to edit my blogg. So a big sorry to colleagues and friends.



I have continued at work, happily enjoying the company of my friends. Sadly Kelly's mum died after a short battle with stomach cancer. It has been hard for Kelly and we all are trying to help.



I am so grateful that the NHS have given me a second chance. I will make the most of it.



Mick and I have had a wonderful holiday in Skopelos, it remains our dream to live there. We enjoy the Greek life style and people. Our villa was at the top of over 130 steep steps - heavy going so not for those with difficulty in breathing or walking. We met a lovely people, a british family with a son and Marion at the internet cafe. I loved it there because I could keep in contact with home over fresh juice and coffee. I liked to sit out on the patio garden in the warm afternoon sun. We found some lovely restaurants and had some excellent meals. I discoverd 'Greek Beans' with garlic and tomato and sausage devine with a glass of wine. I hope to manage to publish some pictures.





Mum had shingles while we were away and we have been worried about her health for over 12 weeks as she recovers. She seems a little bit better, she is at last eating and going e out. I have made contact with Rags to Bitches a company I saw on the ONE PROGRAMME that deal in vintage clothes. We need to give Mum a positive focus on the task of down sizing.





I have purchased a lovely garden furniture set to remember my much loved Auntie Vicki, so when we sit out I know she is with us. It is so her. Mind you with all the rain some hopes.





What rain, my heart goes out to those who's homes have been destroyed. But it does show how important insurance is - crisis happen.



I support the search for Maddy - missing, taken from her room in Portugal. I am on her side,not necessarily on her families side. I am afraid that I would not left three such small children on their own in a room, even if I was in the restaurant a few floors below. They will have to pay for this error in judgement for the rest of their lives.

My heart goes to the family of Beverly Samuels, Kesha Wizzart 18 and her brother Fred age 13. This is an unimaginable tragedy and these beautiful people have been bludgeoned to death lost to wider society and that is our loss. Know one has the right to take life in this way, and should not be mollie coddled.


Equally the rich like Conrad Black should expect to be found out for their crimes and we should no pity him and his family. It is pay back time.


Every child killed is a loss to wider society and those who deal with potential abuse should not be made fearful by 'pressure groups' one life saved is one life saved for the good.

I have also been away to Goring, a place to recoup from my cancer, but excercise, treatments and structure in a restful environment. To all those I met there, thanks for your friendship.

My garden has remained a peaceful haven for birds and animals. Wisp is now a regular visitor and sits among the trees (literally on the branches) and watches the world ( and wood pigeons)

We have a Robins nest and we get an unrivalled view of their behaviour. Is this normal in July?



Merlot remains my faith companion and is daft as ever.


More later, bye for now. Love Granny xxxx

I AM STILL HERE

I have been less than active on my blog as you can see. However what with work and getting back to my research there is less time to work. I have started to walk to the station, to reduce my carbon footprint - I started on Monday. However it seems that I tried a step to far to quickly because I am exhausted to day and can barely move or think.


Mick and I have been worried about his Dad who has been ill, but now thankfully on the mend. My Mum also is unwell which is a worry. I went to see her the other weekend and of course I speak daily. We had a great visit actually, we went on mass to my brothers house and met up with his step children etc. Monty and Eddie the dogs had us in hysterics.

The weather has been great this week, but the worry is about our rainful which is well down for the time of year.


I have become addicted to Oranutangs following a BBC series with Steve Leonard and Michella Strachan. Could some one tell me why we have Palm Oil!!!!!!! for which rainforest habitats are being destroyed.


My heart is with the families of the soldiers killed by a road side bomb in Iraq recently including a Female 2nd lt and a nurse from my town Southampton. Yes1 Faye Turney was wrong to sell her story but I understand why she did. She was wrongly advised. Arthur, well he is just a child really and should have not been there anyway.

My heart is with the families of those killed and injured at Virginia Tech. Go Hoggies!


The world is a sad place.

Back soon, Love Granny.

ITS BEEN A WHILE

Here I am back again.

I have been working and presenting sessions, yes I am feeling tired especially today. At least the sun is out and the garden is full of birds.

A couple of days ago I saw two coal tits, blue tits, ring dove, robin and wren. Super Squirell has not appeared since our neighbours took down the peanut feeder he could get to.

WISP has been about in the Cemetary, Mick and I watched for ages as she strolled back and forth.


FEMALE SECTION

I would like to pay tribute to two women

My thoughts are with Leading Seaman Faye Turney who was taken with 14 other sailors in an aggresive act by Iran. She is a married woman with a three year old called Molly. I am thinking also of her husband and parents. She was the pilot of one of the boats taken. She chooses not to be defined by her femininity alone. She wants her daughter to grow up reliable, independent and a strong young woman - much like her mother.

I also acknowledge Pte Michelle Norris aged 19 whose life saving action won her he Military Cross. This medical orderly was acting in the best tradition a standard set in world war one by Noel Chervaise double VC winner.


Proving that what ever people might say women have earned the right for their place in the front in, actions speak louder than words. These women are moving the goal posts on behalf of other women.


I am proud of all our soldiers, sailors and airman. I am not so proud of the government nor the war which I have always considered wrong. The two points of view are not incompatible.

FOOTBALL

England had better play more imaginatively tonight than they did the other day in Isreal. Dear god these guys are high paid professionals apparently and Rooney showed neither professionalism nor coolness of head required to keep himself out of trouble. They really need to play as a team.



FASHION

H and M have some lovely linen skirts, trousers and jackets. They also do great tights and accesories. I particularly liked a twisted bead necklace, I have it in black and brown. It is made with small beads and makes a tight, rope effect. The necklace is long and can be worn doubled up or knotted. Plain simple effective.

My colour pallet this season in black, grey, brown. Outfits are matched top to toe in toning colours and highlighte with white. I have five or six outfits for work. Three trouser outfits and two skirt outfits. For the summer I will add in cream linen long line skirts with two blouses one red and cream, one brown and cream with matching vest underneath.

Keeping to the same colours my everyday or evening outfits are more edgy.


I have been building my holiday wardrobe from the archive of items that I have, adding some cheaper new items to freshen up the look. Packing an issue of course so I have found some reusable bags that compress clothes reducing the space they take up - good value from ASDA.


I am not wild about the current trend of 70's 'Pop' pattern look. It has to be worn carefully not too many combos as these designs can overwhelm. I am much more a 'hippy' ethnic person.


TELEVISION


I have really love 'Dancing on Ice' I am a big Andrei fan. I have also enjoyed very much 'Primeval' but I remain a huge Dr Who Fan.

We watched 'March of the Penquins' the other day - superb. I do recommend this film, so much so I went and bought it.

LOTS OF LOVE TO EVERYBODY. Granny xxxxx

MAX AS A PUPPY WITH ME.

TRUELY AWFUL

For a policeman to be convicted of child porn offences on the internet is beyond belief. Found Guilty - good. Love Granny XXX

POOR FATHER

I was so sad to hear about the poor father who having just walked his daughter down the aisle on her wedding day, collapsed and died at the reception. What a tragic thing to happen. He did die happy that can be the only concellation. My thoughts are with his family at this awful time. Love Granny XXX

ONE UP FOR THE NAVY

Well at last some commonsense. A petty officer has been convicted of Rape on board ship the victim had had a vast amount to drink, she could barely remember what happened. Now listen CONSENT means informed CONSENT, not drink induced consent. I will keep pressing this message. Men if you are even thinking of having sex with a woman who is drunk, under the influence - whatever - don't. Love Granny XXX

FOXED AGAIN

Wisp paid a visit during the week, sitting on the shed looking down at Merlot, who when called came in. I stood outside and called Wisp by name, she and I looked at each other for ages - she showed no fear at all.

Super squirrel has been around, he is so funny because the neighbours, now wise to his peanut trick are not putting them out in a simple hanging system - now he can't get at them. I saw him and this is true, thrust out his big furry white chest, hands on hips as much as to say "What's going on here then" We have come to his rescue putting out nuts ourselves in the hope he will pay a visit.


The garden is alive with things you should not see yet, huge bumble bees, butterflies, lady birds and of course all the little birds. I love it. Love Granny XXX

CAPITALWOMAN

I attended the Capitalwoman conference in London last weekend. It was interesting, but really Ken Livingstone and his bunch seem to take credit for everything. Politically it was boring. The best bit was the only female bespoke taylor in London, great suits. Love Granny

I COULD HAVE SWORN IT WAS A FEATHER

I was so sure that it was a feather that floated in the wind, a small feather - but in fact it was one of the smalles moths I have ever seen. I also have to mention that the garden has been alive with Blue tits and Finches and not to mention the little Wren. Today we are watching Super Squirrel on the feeder, he is simply huge and in tip top condition, no surprise there then. He is so much fun to watch. Blossom is coming out everywhere, form the widow I can see the prettiest pink. Nature is a wonderful thing.


Yesterday evening I did a private talk to a Lions Club and it went really well. Mick helped me with the technical stuff running around getting leads and things for me.

We are booked on a holiday to Skopelos our favourite Greek Island, If anybody reads this and lives in Skopelos, do get in touch. I can't wait to go, I am so excited.

I can not believe Italy scored 3 tries in 6 minutes against Scotland. I am looking for ward to watching Ireland v England at Croke Park. Later Mick is taking me out for a meal, as a reward for my talk yesterday.

I shall be going back to work three days a week until end of March building up to full time. Fantastic. The Oncologist has discharged me from the clinic, so I really am on the way to full recovery.

Love granny xx

WHY DON'T THEY TELL US

Being a woman is 's---' First it is your periods, a pain in the arse from 13 ish to 48 ish. Messy and disgusting despite all the recent developments in personal sanitary ware. The periods are also uncomfortable and often very painful. Then there is PMT which causes all sorts of problems over which you have no control, some women are lucky and sail through, for others - ITS HELL. I stopped taking the pill in around 1983 because it made me ill, and if I was going to have sex then I felt - no condom no sex. Thereafter my periods were 28 days on the dot.

Then there is child birth, not that I've been there but I was with Debs when she had the twins, oh my God - how brave is that, giving birth is not easy!!!!!!

Now since having Chemo, periods are no more and the Tamoxifen has railroaded me into the menopause - oh my God, what 'S---' is this? I am flushed hot all the time and can't sleep, facial hair (yuk) is there a cure for this except shaving, am I going to be the bearded lady? I have no energy, no zip I can hardly bring myself to get dressed. I'm moody and I do try not to be. I have lost absolute control over my body and I hate it.


And Men get absolutely non of this 'S---' they complain about our moods, the lack of sex etc etc etc. Ladies tell them to take a hike, come back in two years. Is it any wonder men go off and look for younger women. Something tells me the odds are staked against us. If men had periods and the menopause something tells me would all so know about it and the space race would be replaced to find a high tech answer.

So what about the positive, no periods great.

I would rather sit and watch the birds in my garden - so I will. My God it's 1pm and I'm not dressed - so what!

Love Granny

WRAP IT UP

I know I have mentioned WRAP before as a fashion bible. Well the new catalogue came through for Summer very nice but too too expensive. If you dont believe me then look at www.wraponline.co.uk I like the 'preppy' look, I love the long skirts, I can get the look cheaper. I also like the sophisticated colours that they use, I need to get out there and shop.

Love Granny xxx

LONDON FASHION WEEK.

Boring, to closed to cliquey. Do we want Zero sized models - of course not, very few if any normal women can possibly want to look like a skeleton, let alone be able to achieve it. Dangerous for physical health. I would like to see some size 14s on the cat work. We are the sizes we are, how we dress ourselves is key to feeling good about ourselves. I like the older women that Dove have used. Very good looking.

If I am pushed I would say that I still like Paul Costello I have a jacket of his in black linen which I love. I like his use of fabrics. Marc Jacobs is ok (although his cat walk videos on his web site are full of very thin models who are so scarry) I am keen to try his new fragrances which are fresh a floral I would especially like to try 'Violet'.

Having said that I am very keen to try the revamped channel perfume line, a reworking of 4 orignal fragrances and six new ones. Get the Magazine Happy and on page 61 there is a good detailed guide to these new scents. I am keen to try '28 La Pausa' 'Gardenia' ' No 22' and 'Eau de Cologne' Expensive and only sold in Chanel shops! Could a nice rich sugar daddy buy me these please? only joking.


I am also a very keen supporter of Jasmine as a fragrance, very summer very fresh. I do like to shop in L'Occitane in Bluewater and they have some new fragrances, including Rose and Reine Eau de Toilet which at £22 I could probably afford and would wear all summer.


NEXT is very much a shop I have been re drawn to, I had a great pair of Black trousers from there but I have noticed in their recent adds a wonderfull Black and White small check suit at £90 with nice pocket details, 3 snappy buttons and a really cute collar, for the business woman with 'X' factor. Still to expensive for me, but the look is great.


A key fashion item, If your doing anything at all you can hardly go wrong with the white shirt, which I have always loved. Go For it there are loads about. Also this year the Tunic dress is really rather smart in my view.


A big plea please don't do sheer/see through it is so cheap to show off all your underware. Pretty bras do it for me.


I a not a Coleen Mcloughlin fan (not that she will care) I just think she has more money than sense. She is rather boring, lets face it with Wayne as her boyfriend!!!! what else can one say. I rather prefer Kelly Osbourn and Amy Winehouse looks, off the wall they key is looking different. With Winehouse, you really have to look passed her past with the drink and drugs thing to the voice which is fab and her look. She is not however a good role model - but hey. GET HER MUSIC, IT IS FAB. Britney Spears has been a big hitter this week with her bald look, hey work with it, it looked call. I do worry about her though, but more for her childrens sake than hers.

I still refer extensively to 'IN STYLE' 'YOU' magazine from the Sunday mail and GLAMOUR for my fashion information. and HAPPY is also excellent. Rather taken with two looks from Happy one by BIBA - an old favourite and DKNY who both have the MAXI dress (page 78) I love the 1970's hippy look which is very much back. Beads and Bangles are a must. Vest T shirts are fab, there are so many great styles and colours, get loads they are cheap and you can double them up. I like a slouch look and they work perfectly. Keep them long and lean. Shabby Chic thats me.


SHOES, plenty of great looks, and I love platforms (I did the first time round as well) but please no ties up the legs - be selective as platforms can really do your legs in. There is no glamour if your feet are killing you. I like the new pumps that are about, look great with a maxi skirt. Wear with opaque tights and short skirt, colour toned and matched in for length and layer tops.

My key pieces this year will be my late aunts fan which I shall use for my hot flushes, and her black beads, very fine and delicate. I am on the hunt for very comfortable baggy cargo pants, lots about but I haven't found the one for me yet.


Fashion rules OK Love Granny XXX

RETIRING

A colleague is retiring next week, we went to a function in his honour, I thought it was nice to see so many turn out. I also thought how sad we were losing another character from the job with his huge and extensive knowledge he will be a great loss. Does he care!!!! well secretly he does, but he is off to pastures new, new starts after a 30 year career are risky but essential. Good Luck to Pat and his wife.

Love Granny

SQUIRREL CHASE

Today is a lovely and spring like. Two squirrels are chasing around the trees which is highly amusing. They have just stopped for lunch. The other day one of the squirrels came down to my neighbours pond for a drink. He had just hung upside down on the feeder with fresh nuts in so I think he ate to much. These guys are so fast it is quite breathtaking.

I always try to find something beautiful and positive in the day, my key to good mental and physical health. Love Granny

FRAUD WARNING

Keep your eyes on your money. I lost £108 out of my account via a scam they took £8 congestion charge (I don't take my car into London) and then £25x2 and £50x1 through a facility in Luxembourg to use a casino gaming site (I don't gamble)

Police will only report the Theft of any card. The fraud is initially investigated by your bank. This was an online fraud. I mayhave been 'attacked' when I purchased a book online and I believe the transaction was not on a secure site I also remember being asked for my card details twice!!!!! I did get my book although not addressed to me bu my husband which we both found strange. I had done everything in my name. BE AWARE. Granny

I SAW IT WITH MY OWN EYE'S

And so did Mick. About 12.50pm I looked up from the sink in the kitchen, Merlot was barking and there on the shed roof was Wisp the fox. Face on and unfazed she looked down at Merlot who was now quiet. We missed the perfect photoshot with the two in frame, but we tried. We did get one of Wisp which I hope to publish if only I could work out the new system for posting pics to the blog. Wisp has been about a lot at night and early hours, like 4am when Merlot goes into a frenzie and sounds like I am killing her. It was an amazing sight andeven when we opened the patio door she did not seem concerned. Brilliant.

If like me you love animals then you must have been heartbroken to see the picture of the Polar Bears stranded on a piece of ice.

Sadly my Aunts funeral is on Thursday 8th 2007 so if you get a chance light a candle, think about spring flowers and wish her peace. I am not very keen on flowers at funerals especially big displays. We are taking a sheath of flowers and I hope that the funeral directors will collect them and take them to a local old peoples home so that they can be enjoyed as Auntie would have wanted.

There really only the three of us left in my birth family, Mum, Neil and I. We will all be at the funeral on Thursday.

Love Granny

THE END OF AN ERA

Sadly my beloved Auntie Vicki aka Joan Riodean nee Cowlin died yesterday afternoon. She was not alone, she was in her own home and she died peacefully.

I saw her the day before her death onTuesday. She was sitting in her arm chair, looking out at her garden. She was dressed in white trousers, a red shirt and white cardigan and we joked that she could play for Manchester United dressed like that. Her hair was blond, washed and lightly set in waves. Her friend Julie had taken the trouble to do this for her. Auntie was a hairdresser and how she looked mattered to her, I never saw her anything other than smart and stylish - even when so ill. She maintained her dignity to the end. Her mind was active and she knew what she wanted. She had told both Julie and I that she was not afraid of death and was happy the end was near, but she wanted to sort out her buisness before hand. She was trying to eat and drink but even the liquid she tried to swallow hurt her "It feels like a ton of coal" she told me. Yet she had continued to do her crochet, to keep her mind and hands active.


She was fiercely independant and had been the rock that had supported her sister Ruby and her husband John. When Ruby's husband Peter died (he was the first to go) it marked the change of all their plans because all 4 had done everything together and planned a long and happy retirement doing lots of things. This never happened. Ruby became ill, and six weeks after Peter died John had a stroke so Auntie Vicki was left to cope and cope she did. Uncle John developed Altzimers but auntie coped with him at home until he died. Then there were 2. Ruby always the most fagile leant heavily of Vicki until she also died 9 years ago. Vicki moved to live in Ruby's bungalow having sold her own house and thank god she did.

Auntie kept all their pictures on a special shelf in her lounge along with other family photos of those who had died - including Young Ron her brother who died age 12 in an accident. She kept Ruby's room as it had been while she was alive, in memory of her. Beside the bed was the big picture of Ron. Neither sister ever forgot their brother. Auntie always kept the house immaculate, decorated and the garden cared for. Eventually last year she was fortunate to find Julie who helped her maintain her home when she became less able to do the physical stuff.


Auntie Ruby and Auntie Vicki were my god mothers and as I child I was often in their company and they were my role models. I was never child like - I was always an 'oldie' in my ways. I was spoilt by them and both Uncles (God Fathers) I remember these times with love and affection. Neither Aunts had children, and so I was, as the only child in the family from 1954-1960 the object of much attention. I know that Auntie Vicki, loved Julie whom she told me was like the child she would have wanted. They loved to talk and Julie held her hand as she died, surrounded by the nurses, she just slipped away.


When I left her on tuesday I had satisfied myself she was where she wanted to be with the support and care she needed, with Macmillian nurses and night staff. I nealt by her side and said - "This is a girl thing, you and I are going to fight this" She smiled and said "Yes we would"
She smelt fragrant, her skin was soft and her eyes despite weariness had that wicked look she gave me when we shared a joke. I have her wedding photograph for a keep sake, she looked so beauiful and John so proud. I am happy to know they are together again.


I am heartbroken, but she is at peace, no longer in pain and my memory of my last meeting with her is brilliant because she looked so peaceful and she seemed like her old self. She never lost her dignity what more can a person ask when they leave this world. What of her life and death?well she did it her way.


I love you Auntie. Granny XXXXXXXX

CASINO ROYALE

This is a real must see film. Mick took me on wednesday to see it. It is brilliant. Daniel Craig reinvents James Bond, he is fantastic in the role. The film is a real thriller. This is the best yet with a really good villan played by Mads Mikkelsen and Judi Dench's 'M' is excellent. Not for the faint hearted and men attached to their balls !!!!!!! Love Granny.

GOODY GOODY GOODY

At last people are waking up to the fact that Jade Goody is a terrible example of british womanhood. She is and always been loud, rude, ignorant and objectionable. She and Dannielle and Jo are classic girl bullies of the type that inhabit our society, you find them in every playground. They are shallow and stupid and pick on people they know show them up. Shilpa is beautiful, elegant, graceful, intelligent, successful and provides a threat to the other three who know they cannot compete.


I do not watch hours of big brother, I do dip in and out, out of curiosity which of course is the whole idea. What I should do and so should every one else - is switch off. I imagine that few people will want to wear a perfume known as Jade now since she has caused such a stink, by showing her true character. Hang on a minute, didn't we put our favourite 'Chav' up there in the first place.

It actually sends out as a strong message about class, education and culture as it does about racism. While I don't think it is purely racisim, it is the unconsious kind we heard about in the Macpherson report. It is the mix that is dangerous. We can see that these three are uneducated, and heaven forbid are role models for our daughters and grand daughters. It has also been clear that Jade in particular is a product of her mother's upbringing of her.....like mother like daughter. Well clearly she has never been taught manners nor good behaviour. We have all seen the pictures of Jade in the papers at a brawl where she 'intervened' to help someone so I would say to Shilpa don't be tempted to hit any of them, that would be an excuse for them to really hurt you.


I have dealt with females like them all my service, they are the same girls you see in the much publised binge drinking culture. Perhaps what hurts us also so much is seeing a reflection of british society as others see it. This summer this tribe will swan off to the sun and prove to the host countries that we are - awful, binge drinking, engaging in public sexual activity, being sick, nosiy, rude and frankly unbearable.

What I have noted is the concern that Cleo Rocas has shown, about the situation, trying to befriend this poor girl. Who has we must also accept lived a priviliged life and was protected by a loving faminly. One of the other things I have noted that it is along age that the lines have been drawn, the older sensible housemates versus cras youth.


This is reality TV....... yes reality, the three girls show clearly what and who they are in reality.

Please note that I do not want to be judged by their actions, I am nothing like them I HOPE!!!!!


vote Cleo. Love granny.

KYLIE TAKE CARE

Kylie, please listen to your body. I worry you are in denial about the fact you have been through arduous breast cancer treatment. Like me your body has been stripped of its immunity, your body has been physically stressed by an operation, poisoned by chemo to kill the cells and radiated. Do not think that because you are 18 months on that you are free to do anything you want because 12 months of that 18 months included these treatments. You have not allowed your body to regenerate itself. I know how tired I feel all the time.

Of course you must not be defined by it, limited either for that matter but....reality reality reality means by all means push yourself but with baby steps!!! a contradiction NO just sense. I am back at work but on very limited hours directed by advisors who understand what I have been through. Yes you look wonderful, yes you are brave but please listen to your doctors a severe infection could kill you. It was a big fear of mine, a chest infection since I am prone to them and realised that if I acted inappropriately I would pay a heavy price in my recovery.

In your particular case your career requires huge physical demand (on stage) and to be an icon of fashion and beauty requires you to put on a positive face all the time for the cameras! this is not worth your life.


Glamour magazine has voted you top of 50 best dressed women, and you have been in the last year congratulations. I do admire you and your look BUT the cost my dear fellow survior may be too much. GOOD LUCK. GRANNY.

IT REALLY IS A MUST - Fashion comments

I took a slow walk round Bluewater on Tuesday prior to going back to work, to see what remained of the sales and to see what I had been missing all these weeks.

A real MUST. Please take a trip to the 'Oriental Pearl' The ultimate fashion jewellery shop. It does Bags and Hats as well, but best of all (since this place makes Alladins cave look dull) you can have a piece made up to your own specifications right there and then. Loads of pretty beads to choose from. Go on - just for the fun of it.

I was on the whole disappointed, nothing really excited me. Could someone please tell me why I cannot buy ordinary Navy Blue tights, is there a 'ban' in place??????

M and S has upped its game and I do like to shop there now. The Monsoon sale is always worth a look, but it does reflect the huge mark up their dresses etc. Definately the time to by that evening dress.

I had a great encounter with a young sales woman for 'bellapierre' make up. She did me a face make over and I felt very good and she was interested in my grey hair - growing back nicely. She made me feel important and normal and I loved the look. www.bellapierre.com


I have been developing my look for work, Black, grey and white work really well, because I like to feel that I look professional and right when I am at work I certainly don't want to look ill.


A very good idea in this seasons Littlewood catalogue is the inclusion of a little book 'Trinny and Susannah - THE RULES -a beginners guide to better dressing. clear clever and focused advice.


I am a big fan of the Maxi Skirt ( a 1970's term making a come back) I loved them and wore them in the 70's and of course I still do. I also like to wear footless tights under my cotton ones, I wear a lot of sandals (my preference) and this combo works for me.

When I hit the beach from now on I shall have to wear a shrug to protect my left arm - this is fine since I love them, especially the light weight type with a T shirt. Littlewoods have some great colours, so they will look OK on the beach with a swimsuit.


I saw a classic fashion Fopah in the Magazine In Style on page 15 a picture of Miscah Barton in Matthew Williamson design dress in black, one shoulder style short puff ball with foot less tights and sandals (THIS WAS NOT A GOOD LOOK, IN FACT HIDEOUS.)


I also spotted a nice sleeveless black and white shift type dress in the magazine and went to seek it out at H and M in Bluewater, at £34 pounds it will make a nice spring summer staple with a dress up or dress down making possibilities endless. It will look fab with my long line Paul Costello Black Linen Jacket, which is a long standing friend. I might buy this dress.

I continue to beg you not to wear roman sandals with ties that go up the leg - Yuk.


As a rule I am against cut off trousers, but I noticed some nice Clamdiggers in denim by 'Love Label' in the Littlewoods catalogue. Will look great on the beach with kaftans or long jumpers. Tight trousers cut like this are not really for those over a size 16 and anyway should always be worn with consideration to bulges and outlines. These along with shorts should not be worn to the officer or for meetings. OH NO> I am not sizeist, but I think people need to make the best of themselves and not all fashions work on all people.


I am begining to put on weight due to the hormone treatment so I will have to watch what I WEAR. It always settles around my middle. So I shall be doing some excercise, while continuing to watch my diet re fats (a hangover from having my gall bladder removed)


The WRAP catalogue dropped through the letter box the other day as usual great items - but too expensive. I love this catalogue but only use it as my style guide. I am glad to say trouser and skirt waists are up at the waist in this seasons selections - please let this mean no more bellies on display (unless pregnant)


I am a bit of an oddball where fashion is concerned, I like a coordinated look, you know matching and toning - but I do like the daring, a statement if you like of my personal style, the inner me. This has it's place you know, but not in the workplace (unless this a funky and up beat sort of location) Dress appropriately and see your professional staus raise, you are taken seriously as a contender for the next project promotion etc. For me this is important since I have spent much of my life in uniform.


I have made a hair decision. When it has grown back just a little more, I shall keep it at the shorter length, grey looks better this way and it has opened up my face. I have had to give thought to changing my make up colour, and I will make a play on my eyes. I am comfortable with it this way and I like the look.


Time to go, have fun with clothes. Love Granny

THANKS RHEA.

Rhea I do thank you for your supportive comments. Have a Happy New Year. Granny

THIS IS IT

I am going back to work on Wednesday 10th. Confirmed. I can't tell you how happy I am.

The last 7 or so months have been a real journey.

Love Granny

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Happy New Year to everybody. I finished my treatments yesterday so for me that is the end of seven months of cancer focus. Now I want to widen my scope and I am glad to say I go back to work next Wednesday. Mick took me out for a meal to celebrate. I can expect the residual effects to last for two more weeks and I must see the consultant in 4 to 6 weeks to establish how successful the treatments have been. I cannot wait to go swimming again when the burns have gone.

On Jan 1st I was able to visit my Aunt in hospital to satisfy myself that she was being cared for. She looked so much better than I thought she would. She was up and dressed immaculately but has to have constant oxygen for her breathing. I get the impression that her tumor is quite large. She was an inspiration of positivity, she refuses to be down. She had initially refused treatment because she said she was to old and that it should be for the young. I believe they would no have offered if they had not been sure they could reduce it a little. She refuses to go to Clacton Hospital and remains in Colchester where she is happy. I know she is quite afraid of Clacton Hospital and would not get on well there. She looks so tiny and frail with a swollen face but has an indomitable spirit, she has a very able mind she remembers lots of things and 85 years old she makes most younger people look silly. I took her in a guardian angel and like me believes that our relatives who have died watch over us, I said to her that my guardian angels were my nana, my aunts and my dad - likewise she felt the same. I looked at the video I have of her when she was young (transfered from 35mm film) and the both of us together, what memories. She will stand her ground, she wants to go home with support, she will need oxygen constantly and home care. I am willing her on. I want her to be comfortable and safe.

I have kept my eye on the press - I am sorry to hear about the death of a five year old girl when bitten by her uncles dog! The dog is shot of course, but the person to blame is the owner not the dog, the dog was doing what dogs do and not trained other wise. People really need to take responsibility. However I leave you to read the stories about this owner and make your own judgements.

Yesterday the garden was alive with lots of birds, Bluetits and a coal tit amongst others. All these birds are so small and dart about all over the place. it is like HEATHROW as they get into a holding pattern waiting to land at my neighbours feeder. Mick has become aquainted with SUPER SQUIRREL who is the biggest either of us ever seen. In dominates the tree and races everywhere. Today it is raining heavily and steadily it all seems so grey.

I do hope the Green message will get through......however, when I have been travelling on the train to hospital I have noticed how little people care, throwing litter around without a thought, spitting etc I have had a lot of opportunity to observe behaviour - loud music, mobile phone conversations, feet on seats are particular hates of mine. There are little or no manners, with everybody barging about. On stairs particularly no one keeps to the keep left concept of safety, thereby blocking routes to others (much the way people drive without thinking) The trains are dirty and disgusting for the most part. So if they want people to travel on the train more, they need to up the conditions, reduce the fares, provide security on the train in the form of guards. I do not want to be intimidated when I travel and neither does anyone else.


Love for the New Year. Lets hope Peace is given a chance, it wont be of course, there is money in war. Granny

I ASK YOU TO PRAY

Please pray for my aunty Vicki, who is in Colchester Hospital with Lung cancer and secondary kidney cancer. I spoke to her today, she is having Radiotherapy although she initially declined on account of her age. She is comfortable and sounded cheerful. At least she is in a good place and they are caring for her nad she is not alone. She is my Godmother and I love her dearly.

Love Granny.

WHAT CHRISTMAS IS ABOUT!

Christmas is of course about the birth of Christ although you would never think it judging from the rampant consumerism that grips the nation. Some, who are less fortunate cannot indulging in the feeding frenzie that goes on. I think it is important we remember that. And what about Bethlehem? nothing changes only the uniforms.

This year we mourned the death of Auntie Elsie, and Mick and I spent Christmas with her sister, my mother-in-law because there was a big empty space at the heart of her family. I was fortunate to be given a brooch (I am a collector) of an Elephant which had been Elsie's I was touched to have been given it - for me the perfect item to remember with since Elephants never forget. She was in all our hearts.

I was sorry to hear of the death of James Brown the Godfather of Soul on Christmas Day - his words, "I feel Good" I my mantra for obvious reasons. I suspect he is singing in heaven and rocking the joint. We also lost Charlie Drake this Christmas and I suspect he is teaching God some prat falls.

This year I have been very lucky, oh yes I have (oh no you haven't, it's behind you) that is to say in true Panto style I can only think of postives. Like.... catching up with old school friends on Friends Reunited, Orville and Paul. Learning a lot about myself has been crucial. I have been busy looking at nature to give myself a much needed boost. My sister in law Elaine, has been unfailing in her phone calls to cheer me up. My brother and sister in law Gill have watched over Mum because I could not get to visit as much as I would wish. This is what I call team work. I phone Mum everyday to have a chat and to check she is ok.

Mick has been a brick, and working very hard - the farm shop has been interesting to say the least. I could not have made it through without him. We are the couple who 'bicker' but stay together because it's fun and we are a great team.


Christmas has not been free of sadness this year for others. I was so sad to hear of the death of the pilots and passengers of a helicopter in Morecombe Bay. The deaths of soldiers and civilians elsewhere in the world.

I was glad to read that the stupid ruling about not being able to convict for rape where the victim is drunk isto be dealt with by the government. Some men have hidden for to long behind this defence. Consent should be informed consent and when you are drunk you cannot give this. I am not so much concerned about the introduction of drugs into drink, the problem is that in the current climate drinks are mixed when a person has had one or two becoming doubles or even trebles in some instances. The Sex Offences Act 2004 did already deal with the issue of consent and this has not be used correctly in the courts. You have to know what you are consenting to for it to be valid, and with whom you are consenting to do it with. It is just another form of force and a way to move blame. To have sex with another who is too drunk to know what is happening or give correct consent is an abuse of trust and a shame on those who do this. They seek then to shift the blame for their actions on the victim. I do believe however that where a woman is proved to have lied about rape, that is, made a false claim deliberately then she should be named, in order to protect genuine victims.


What Christmas is about? well Christ actually.

Love from Granny.

A MILLION LOVE SONGS LATER, HERE I AM

Sorry to have been away, no mouse and no keyboard = no writing sorry.

Halfway through the radiotherapy and it's OK. My machine is Electa 2 at St Thomas's and the whole team are great fun. It is very strange I am laid out like a frog for disection and then they play battle ships on me.....with the computer all very technical. Matt is Australian and supervises the operation, he is great fun we talk cricket obviously and I think he is a little homesick. He thinks I am mad, that coming from a man who was going to three parties in one night!!!!

Lets look forward to Jan 5th when the treatment stops, and I can begin to be me again. I have a light covering of white baby hair now so perhaps when it comes through more I should dye it bright pink!!!!! Kylie looks very cool in her perfume ads with her short hair.


Let's here it for the Argentine Tango, as danced tonight on Strictly Come dancing, it is my favourite dance and I recommend anyone to see 'Tango Por Dos' when they come to London (usually at the Peacock Theater) for they do IT FANTASTICALLY as you would expect.


My heart is with the five prostitutes murdered in Ipswich. This is shocking and I wish I could be working on the case. I am a supporter of the legalisation of prostitution. However I do blame the punters, no punters (demand) no problem. It is sadly - Men who are the punters if they were not prepared to pay for sex or indeed want it then there is no trade. I have met many girls in the trade in Commercial Street and have seen the dire state that they are in when they cannot get a fix. They will do anything for 20 quid, and do. The result is running sores - many of the girls are pathetic heaps of humanity and having sex with them for cash can only be described as abuse. What man wants sex with a drugged diseased female? you would be surprised. Wives and daughters take note, in my experience it is middle class men smart and driving nice cars who go with prostitutes - not down and outs. I once found a group of men who had brought an Asian lad down for his stag night to have sex with a prostitute!!! make of that what you will, what did he pass on? and why the double standard? a girl who has sex before marriage in such cultures would be ostrasied or stoned to death. DOUBLE STANDARDS. The reality is the suspect for the murders is a husband or a brother, father or son. As I have said many times before the Drug supply trade is to blame for the decent of humanity into greater degredation. Yes these things have always been around, but so have the expoliters - those who make millions of pounds on the lives of others.

To young girls out there, this is not a glamourous life style, it is as low as you can get. But don't turn your back on these girls, turn on the men. Remember that women are generally on the lower end of the economics of a country. it is better to stay at school, get an education and beat men at their own game in the places were money is made.

It really does not help when certain famous folks flash their drugs habits in our faces and the law seems unable to deal. They are arrested for sure - only to get pultry fines and made even more glamourous by the courts. You know who I mean.


Now for FASHION. I have always been a Katherine Hepburn fan, in terms of style. In that style way I like Calvin Kline and Stella McCartney. See Instyle for jan page 31. Baggy trousers and tops are very me, in Black in grey and in blue.


Since I will never be on a Red Carpet I don't do that kind of glitz but I am Dita Von Teese fan who is just beautiful and does up front glam with panache. What I wore for a recent party was a long black linen skirt and black devore top with black beads and a large coin belt. I felt OK.


TRIBUTE. To my mother - in - laws sister Elsie Perry, who died on Wednesday. She had been ill for so long, and was determined to die at home. She was a very remarkable strong woman and I loved her dearly. When I last saw her she was in hospital, she was dressed and made up and I thought then - Yes that is the way to be - be yourself. Mum - in - Law Ellen and other sister Beattie will miss her as will I. My prays are with her. Elsie had her own style and was a great friend and sister, wife and mother.


LET'S BE POSITIVE THIS CHRISTMAS. GRANNY

HERE WE ARE AGAIN.

I have just finished my first full week of radiotherapy, it aint that bad, the Auzzie radiographers are cool and we talk cricket of course. COME ON ENGLAND. LETS SHOW SOME FIGHTING SPIRIT. The journey is a bind but not a bad as it could be. I get tired, but last night I partied. Spotted a large rat at the station, I love rats as most people know, I am not sure my fellow passengers enjoyed it quite so much. Also when I go to Tommies I stop by the London Eye - I have become friendly with a Crow, who hangs out there, I hope to get him to feed from my hand. He is so curious and fun to watch as he decides if he can trust me or not. The pigeons from trafalgar Square may be subject to a feeding ban, it says nothing about crows.


It was the 'Close Do'last night and it was nice to see old and new neighbours enjoying time out. We ate, drank and sang at TWIN noodle bar which was a hoot.

I did turn up, head neatly polished - wearing a nice silky brown skirt, vest, blouse and shrug in the same tones. Now Michelle and I did not discuss this, but both managed to turn up tone atune and style together, if not exactly twins.

THE TREE was full of activity today, squirel versus two crows and three magpies, the crows were the heavy artillery and the magpies a harrying infantry, while squirel one rushed all over the show.


Now please tell me who voted Matt king of the jungle, nice guy but not the winner, Jason and Myleen yess. Oh well thats over for another year. Tonight I am going to watch Strictly Come Dancing, Oh when can I tango again? sorry to be a bore but I LOVE IT.

1ST RADIOTHERAPY

Mick accompanied me to St Thomas's yesterday for the first of my daily trips. It all went well and I am confident about the process. It is a really nice place. Free tea and coffee a nice bonus. Better yet when I cam out there was a guy playing the piano in the Central Hall where they Free concerts. This was brilliant, and sounded wonderful, what better way to feel better than to hear good live music, much better than recorded because there is te personal element. People can sit and listen and relax. Again a good remedial therapy. I was also impressed by the focus on multi faith availability there is someone for all faiths and I really do mean all.

I shall be off on my travels again shortly.

IT IS SO WRONG

Further to my post about Janet Street Porters article, I must say I could not agree more. There should be NO mixed NHS wards. There is no dignity for either sex at a time when they are most vulnerable being placed in a mixed sex ward. I felt safe because I was in a female ward, I could talk to women in a similar condition and I was relaxed so I felt I could get better quicker. The talk is always of service according to need. The need is for privacy, security,care and dignity. The article was in the Mail and in the Independent on Sunday - worth a read.

Love Granny

THE TREE OF LIFE

After a quiet period The Tree has been a hive of activity. Mick and I saw 2 Woodpeckers not sure if they are a pair or siblings. They were very busy rushing up and down the trunk and under boughs. There has been a battle between a very large squirrel and 2 equally large crows. Squirrel 2 Crows 0. It has been sunny thus far today only now I think rain is on the way. There have been some Jays about but the Magpies seem to have done a disappearing act.

You will laugh, I went out singing last night the first time in ages, I felt I could give it a go. Wearing Black with my trade mark pink scarf and the 'Tickled Pink' breast cancer T shirt. I sang. 'Hello Again' (Neil Diamond) 'Over the rainbow' (Eva Cassidy version) 'The Long and Winding Road' and Jolene (Dolly Parton - and me with only one and half boobs) The songs were well received so I count myself a Bald Diva.

You must look at Joes site, He and Jen rescued an injured eagle, the pictures are wicked. http://www.sbynews.blogspot.com/ is the new address is.

Take care all Loves Yer. granny

JANET STREET PORTER

I was sorry to read of her sisters death from Lung Cancer and a cancer that had reached her brain. It would appear her last months were painful and unhappy. I am sorry the NHS appeared to fail her. I send my condolences. Love Granny.

MERLOT AND I RESTING AS USUAL!!!!
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THE NET HOUSES IN HASTINGS.
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RELAXING IN THE COAL HOLE PH 2006
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NOVEMBER THE 12TH 2006, REMEMBERING ALL
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ME AND MY SHADOW ( NEIL AND I)
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AFTER THE OP AND BEFORE THE CHEMO 2006
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SHINE, GLOSS AND GLITZ

Before my last Chemo, I tripped over to Bluewater to see what I was missing.

Arrived when it was quiet, it did get very busy later in the day. The shops have upped their game and have some really cool stuff. There were still sales on, look in side shops for sale rails.

Don't be worried about colour there is plenty about, but as I so often say you cannot beat the black dress and there is plenty of those too. There should be something to suit everyone this season.

Colours, Teal, pewter, purple, gold, red, all the brown ranges - love chocolate. All dramatic and intense. Add to this shots of shine, gloss, glitz, glitter, tarten and lace with pearls and you're choice and you are on to a winner.

Style Icons, Scarlett Johnanson, Dita Von Teese, Kylie and Cate Blanchette.

Avoid, being tempted by tie up laces on shoes that go up the leg Roman Style, they look god awful and do nothing for the wearers legs. Just plain ugly.

There were some real glitter shows out there - Dorothy from Wizard of Oz would have been proud. I saw a pair of Emerald Shoes on killer heels - only for the very brave. Try Schuh's always have some extreme examples, but cost can be prohibitive.


The Black dress was everywhere, with some real Wow Factor. For a real experience look at the shop called 'Lucy in the Sky' even if you cannot afford, get some great ideas, great dresses and bling.

Hobbs and Laura Ashley are next to each other in the Mall, worth a look again, can't beat Hobbs for the perfect suit.

For cheap and cheerful party items look at H and M and New Look, the shops have had a make over, generally easier to look round.

Gold is very big, I will bring out my fabvourite gold dress this season and add a huge gold belt with bow to match the catwalk and high street. Tanned legs and gold shoes - great (any of the moisturiser/self tan products will help here - I like Dove)


Take a look at Vibe - very nice, but unusual. On one side of shop everything in Brown shades and on the other Blacks/greys with the appropriate highlight accessories and blouses etc. Had a lot of eye appeal, makes you think about possibilities. Excellent shop.

Monsoon, sumptuious with loads of fab dresses in wicked fabrics and shades. Never fails to impress.

Jane Norman was worth a look. As was 'Evans' for the larger fashionable lady, some very nice colours. Particularly liked this years must have the heavy knit long cardigan at £40 - a good all year round purchase. There was a great dress in Black devore over red, same fabric also in skirt. For that very smart event.

I hate belts on knits, and I hate them on coats - but it is up to you.

THE BLACK DRESS was in Wallis, Short very simple and sheer, with spagettie straps, square neck line with two detail narrow black flat bow empire line syle under boob. Simple to dress up or down. Pearls always look good and there are plenty about.


EAST is another favourite shop of mine and it had the red shirt. all rouched, ruffs with a lilly long double sleeve with lace inset. Over a Black skirt - devine. I would kill for this blouse, for those afraid of red it came in other colours. East also does a lot in Devore, this is a fabric I love, less heavy than velvet less seethrough than sheer fabrics.

I am still not into Mustard as a colour but there is a lot of it about. You have to be the right skin tone to carry it off.

DON'T FORGET THE SEXY UNDERWARE, No dress looks good without the right underneath look. Lumps and Bumps are not good on sheer or clingy fabrics for the unintended reveal. But under see through great under wear is a must and very sexy.

I love Golden Lady Tights, an Italian make, now not only in ASDA but Morrisons, They have a web site as well. They are well made, and wear well. I like the black tights witht smal white spot detail, and the Gold ones in a similar design. I always like to point up a plain skirt with nice tights. I love M and S footless tights,

There are great shrugs in most shops. For that extra warmth.

Give the designer shops a look, but - looks are good but too expensive in many cases.

Look at where items are made, such as cheap and cheerful Cambodia and Bulgaria. These crop up in most shops. Some of the cheaper shops pile in stuff unironed and looks cheap and can be off putting. Check stitching and such like - the finish of an item can affect how it looks on you.

Once again it was a mother and baby fest in the Mall - they were everywhere. The youngest I ran into was 14 weeks old!!!!! this mother was starting her child off in consumer hell very early. I do find these mothers some what baby 'Fashists!!!!!not fashionistas. They tend to think that anyone who does not wheald a pram should not dare to be there. Actually it was rather funny since the other main group was the elderly in wheel chairs, from cradle to grave Bluewater has it made.


I hope you don't mind but I have one more comment on Miss Naomi Campbell. Let her clean the streets - if she is willing to deal then there must be a guilty plea in the air or she is afraid what the case will out. I love fashion, but despair of the supermodel syndrome. It costs nothing to be nice.

Enough said.

Love Granny.

UPDATE

Sorry everyone, I have been feeling very 'off' since last chemo but it is over. I have had my Radio therapy planning meeting - and now have my tattoo marks for postioning. 25 sessions from 22/11/2006 then by 02/01/2007 I will be free of the second stage of treatment. I have started my Tamoxifen so it is all action forward to the new year.

Visited work yesterday for another planning meeting this on for going back to work. Met a lot of friends and felt the old buzz. I do so miss being at work - how sad is that.

Love Granny XXXXX

ITS OVER - THIS BIT

Last chemo done and dusted. Feeling V tired but OK. With love to the Oncology Unit at Queen Mary's Sidcup - who helped me through. Granny

TELL ME ON A SUNDAY

Everybody knows that I love Sundays, and today is no exception. Everything is peaceful and quiet. I am able to sit and get my thoughts in order prior to the last chemo this coming wednesday. It has been a long journey thus far, but strangely it has gone quickly. I need to focus on the Radio therapy next which is a bit scary. I keep the positive vibes going by refusing to dwell on the future and any return of the cancer I focus more on the future and my life with Mick and 'doing stuff'.


I have looked at my hairless head and noted some regrowth and a very definate 'whiteness' rather than the grey I had naturally and the brown/blonde thing I had going with the dye bottle. I do hope that I go pure white which I will wear short and neat. I try to dress in a postive way, a little bit fashion and little bit country. I made one real purchase, a nice pair of burgundy ankle boots with nice high heels.. these are go any wear boots, smart and sassy.


I hope to go to the Kareokee tomorrow, to get a couple of songs off my chest before Wed, perhaps a nice meal on tuesday after the blood tests. I do hope they find some useable veins this time. 'Tell me on a Sunday' is the title of a song which I love to sing - perhaps I shall warble it on monday.

Love to all Granny.

DEATH OF A COLLEAGUE

I have just learnt that a colleague and friend (Angie) died suddenly last week from an aneurysm in the brain. She was at the Gym and died before she hit the floor such is the speed of this condition. She was a very fine officer and mother of an 11 year old. I admired her and I am very shocked by the news, she was so strong and apparently fit. I looked up the condition and note that this is a silent killer, with few warning signs if any. My heart goes out to her family. It really makes you think about the fragility of life and the need to live life to the full.

Love to my friend from Granny.

UPDATE.

I saw the consultant yesterday, I will have 6 weeks of radiotherapy and I will be on Tamoxifen for 5 years. I am not suitable for Heceptin. Its all about the hormones, my age, the menopause, and the lymph glands that had also been infected.

The last few day have been beautiful, sunny but cold. the tree looks wonderful in the afternoon light.


I saw a green woodpecker on Monday, in the front of our house (on the street) climbing up the trunk of a tree, when I approached I saw it clearly when I looked it up in the books it was a perfect example. Wow that is two types of woodpecker in our locatity.


Mick took me to Hastings on Wednesday, it was beautiful, the sea was like a mill pond. We had great fish and chips (washed down with wine) in the 'Fish Hut' I recommend this place, small but clean and nice with well cooked good food. It is right by the Fishing Net buildings at the end of the old town. The shops were worth a visit too. It was a perfect day. I love the beach and the smell of the sea.

The little things mean a lot.

Love granny

MORE ANGELS!

What can I say - what a coward if true, that the father of Sayrah, Sophia, Alicia and Hannah and husband of Caneze killed them and himself by fire! apparently he was depressed by his son Adams terminal illness.....OK what is Adam going to do now?... who will visit him just when he needs his Mum and sisters this monster has taken his only comfort? Shame on him. I am feed up with these weak men who kill their families because of their own inadaquacies.


Then there is a man who killed his three year old daughter with clorform, because his wife had an affair. Shame on her, but shame on him. Fifteen years is not enough of a sentence. An affair is no reason to kill a child. I have no sympathy for him at all. The mother is a sad and deluded self absorbed individual who needs help - internet sex and affairs indicate a fundementally weak human being.


Madonna - dear god - surely this is the worst of stories, buying a child, not dealing correctly with the laws, showing money and power are corrupting. This poor little baby boy, purchased and haggled over by the greedy father who dumped him in a orphanage and by a rich power mad egotist who thinks fame and money overide everything. She will of course dump David if he becomes a burden or is not grateful. She is greedy, selfish and arrogant and is no example to anyone. I would love to adopt a child myself but understand that you cannot remove a child from its roots. It is better to help the society they come from by reducing debt, teaching and providing support to get the country back to selfsufficiency. This is all about her ego, which is already enormous one can only imagine what monsters her children will grow up to be if this is the example she sets. BIN her.


Then there are the two queens of the catwalk Campbell and Moss, vain ungrateful creatures who earn millions yet cannot control themselves.. Examples and role models they are not. Just spoilt brats near the end of their sell by date. I say sell because they have sold their souls, should we care? absolutely not. They will end up old and haggered like the rest of us. They are stupid and ignorant if they think they are important because they 'wear clothes' and the companies who employ them are shallow and dishonest. They are typical of this generation of wasters and short term icons of vainity. One is a violent individual who picks on her staff the other believes that an idot like Pete Docherty (who should have been in prison years ago) will be her knight in shining armour. He will never be clean he doesnt have the strength of character needed to lift himself out of addiction, he loves it too much. These three are silly stupid children who need to grow up and thank their lucky stars they dont have to clean loos for a living. They are perfect examples of the degenration of society that only loves money.


I am so angry, at the state of the world and the condition of humans. granny

TWO MORE ANGELS

What can I say, two children Robert and Christie died on holiday in Corfu from an apparently faulty piece of equipment leading to carbon monoxide poisoning. How their poor mother (who was not there) must be feeling can only be guessed at. Their father remains very ill himself and does not yet know. My heart breaks for them all. I pray for them. Nothing will ease the pain of this loss, what must happen is that they get lots of love and support.

The lesson is that we all must check when we are on holiday that things are correct. This is not to blame the parents but to save a life.

Love from Granny

DO'IN MY THING

Well viewers, I am feeling heeps better today.

The sun has been shining and I can only say a perfect Sunday. Mick is working sadly so perhaps not that perfect. He has been roped in to play his bagpipes for the farms halloween tractor rides. They have him dressed up as a mad monk as well, apparently on Friday there were a lot of screaming kids.

I shall indulge myself today, Jerk Chicken sour cream and salad and masses of Fruit - washed down with sparkling Pinot Grigio. Yes Sir a perfect sunday.


Love granny.

UPDATE

Sorry for not being up to date, but I have been asleep most of the time. Feeling pretty grim but again this expected. The day is grey which is pretty depressing, yet it is Autumn so I guess that it is to be expected. Mick is taking me on a treat tomorrow, I only hope I can do it justice. I really want to get back to work in November so here's hoping.

My brother and his wife are currently in Lake Como Italy which they say is wonderful, I am so jealous but they deserve it they work really hard.

Three little boys who live in my street, Charlie, Jack and Junior brought me round a card and some chocolate as a get well gift. These are nice decent kids, who we encourage - they wanted to earn money in the summer so we suggested clearing the close of rubbish weekly which they did. They brought us the results and we paid them. I believe starting young in teaching people to care for their environment. The guys are a bit scared of silly old bald me, but they light up my life at the moment. They did not have to get the card etc, they even drew a flower for me inside the card, now that was special. A beacon of hope.

However, somewhere in my memory I read this week we are less likely to challenge bad behaviour in our young. Shame Shame Shame.....what a thing to print, now of course the little perishers will think they have the upper hand. If true, the general public only have them self to blame, They do not! I would of course always intervene, and when I am angry 'yobs' had better be very afraid (I am even toxic now) Walk tall.


Remember that Halloween is not an excuse to rob, so trick or treat back. Firework night is nearly here, remember the new laws are in force and arrest is a very good option. For the elderly, do not open your doors at all to people you do not know nor whom you are not expecting. You are in control - no appointment no entry. Don't be fooled into feeling mean, if the kids parents want them to have stuff, let them buy it, it's not your problem. Shut the door and shut them out. Do not give on the streets to kids who do 'penny for the guy', this is begging. The less we give the less they will want to sit out side shops.

I want to see all schools in an area account for the behaviour of their students, and parents should be levied for the damage done to buses BY THEIR CHILDREN in money!. If a bus is delayed due to the behaviour of children from a school travelling free... then that bus should be withdrawn, ie not stop at a bus stop anywhere near the school. Children should walk to school. If a child is killed as one will undoubtedly be given the behaviour, who will get the blame, the bus or the kids? The mayor would have been better advised to provide small buses only for adults no kids allowed. Punish all until the lesson is learnt.

Pray for rain on firework night.

A very grummpy granny.

I HATE TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO

In as recent post I likened North Korean actions to Nazi Germany and the Nuremberg Rallies, and low and behold up they come with a massive candle light rally a la Nuremberg. The iconography was not lost on the media who actually refered to this past era in its own analysis. People out there, you had better be scared. Forget the Cuban Missile crisis this is serious and the leader is unpredictable, posturing and without consicience a very dangerous combination.
This is what dictatorship is about and you bet your life being Muslim, Buddist, Sikh, Hindu, Christian or jewish is not tolerated here. There are no individuals here only machines. This is what a real totalitarian ideological state is all about. If that's what other people (and I mean all the people ) want for their children- on their own head be it. The dictator decides what you should read, listen to, paint, draw, write, who you should marry, how many children you have, what you earn, eat and own (if anything) what you wear and how, what you believe and how. Human Rights do not exist here. Religious freedom does not exist here... Watch and weep this could be your future.

In warning to all. Love Granny

ONLY ONE TO GO

Yesterday's 5th Chemo went well and I feel a whole bunch better than last time. I am tired of course but the team changed my anti nausea tabs to give me a better reaction. Apparently at about this stage this does become necessary due to build up of drugs needing a more powerful antidote.

I slept well which is important. Mick cooked me a lovely casserole and I could taste all the fresh veg he used, I am not a great lover of meat but strangely I love kidney and I could taste this also - I was so pleased.


On the day before my chemo I meet up with my team for coffee, which was so nice, chating like we do. I also had a goody bag from Cathy our (station reception officer) which was so thoughtful and kind including a great book, some body stuff and a very sexy lepoard print candle - I feel a bath coming on. One of the things I have found is that my friends have been so supportive, what more can you ask.


ONLY ONE TO GO NOW - last chemo is 8th November 2006 YIPPEE.

Love to all my friends. Granny. XXX

A LIFE CHANGING EXPERIENCE

Breast Cancer is a life changing experience. Why? well in the first instance your body is made different, you lose part or all of the most visibly female part of you, the thing that everybody appears to value as the most important simble of femininity - other wise why would women seek to enhance boobs beyond the natural to the biggest and bigger as a statement that says I am more woman than the next woman. It has a price this love of self - it destroys and makes the individual the some total of a boob job and nothing more. The boobs that are created are plastic, and have no feeling of connection to the person, you might has well be a blow up doll for all that others (men usually) care. This is such a shame. As a result of this boob obsession, women with breast cancer who lose one or both completely are made to feel less than womanly and this is not just a shame it is a crime. Women are more than the sum of their boobs.

Now my boobs are truly individual. I am not ashamed of my scars.

Secondly my body has to fight this invasion, this growth, this tumour and it has to fight the chemicals that are trying to keep further growth at bay. This may not work and I could die from the spread of the disease. Therefore I must take advantage of the time that I have. I don't want to die, but I am no longer afraid of dying I have settled my mind to that. It is a journey I must take alone, although I am fully aware of the impact it has on my husband and my family who have to deal with this new me. They also have to deal with the fear.

All my life I have been afraid of knockbacks, I have been guarded and afraid of being me because I need to be liked. I am opinionated, and I am now even more sure I must voice my views. I always wanted to be an artist and writer, so here I am writing. I want to think outside my comfort zone and give all that I have to the time that I have left. I am exploring my art, not well but I am trying.

I have always earnt my own living, I have never been kept! I intend to keep it that way.


Thirdly I have become slower, more likely to rest than in the past. The informed opinion tells you that you have to slow down and take care of yourself, so I am doing as I have been told.

I still boil when I see injustice, bad behaviour and bad citizenship. I am more likely to explore my faith, what God is or is not. I don't believe in being part of a particular religious tradition I believe what I believe and don't press it on others, and do not expect to be pressured by others to follow this or that path. You only have to read the titles on my book shelf to see how I read around the issue of faith, of history, to women and their lives.


Fourth, I am stronger as an individual. I do not need to be validated by anyone elses opinion. To see me you must listen to my words and look into my face - where the truth about my life is. I will not shroud myself, that is why I am proud to be bald, and walk with my head held high and uncoverd. To cover myself would make me an object and not a person. I watch peoples faces all the time, I communicate with them non verbally this way. I look into their faces and smile, I acknowledge that they exist. I watch them look at me and look away because they are afraid of what they see, a bald woman who must have something teribble or I am an object of curiosity or ridicule (usually the young) Do I care, not a jot. In fact it makes me more defiant.

You can see where I am going with this, the debate about the veil, I personally feel that it reduces a woman to an object and that it is rude not to acknowledge that others have difficulty with it, not on religious grounds but on the simple fact that it implies secrets, lies or hiding away or that other women are less modest. It also means that the hard of hearing are excluded, many of us lip read even if we are not deaf in order to fully understand what is being said to us, across a crowded room for example or in a noisy environment such (especially) as a classroom. It is a discriminatory and exclusory act. By my not covering up my difference I am including everybody, they can see who I am and why I am. The veil is a difference for sure, but it objectifies rather than defines, it sets apart since others cannot understand who 'you' are. It divides and sets apart. The other type of head wear does not do this, it explains a particular religious stance but does not depersonalise the individual. through our facial expressions we show joy, love, fear, anger, resentment, so by covering the face we are cutting out almost three quarters of our means of communication. It is not a religious issue, since Nuns also cover themselves, but not their faces - for there we often find serenity.

Another issue, is whether a woman can wear a cross to work or not, small and unobtrusive! of course she should. it does not affect her ability to do her job as a desk clerk. She was a little silly to wear out side her uniform for very sensible reasons but to suspend her is ridiculous. I wear a cross (a crucifix actually) as a symbol and always have, because I value it, I wear it close to my heart, but under my clothing, my common sense tells me that a violent person could rip it off me. It does tell people I am Christian, but if it is under my shirt they don't see it but I hope by my actions recognise that I have certain values associated with Christian values such as compassion. But if my shirt is open neck, I will not take it off, if I lose it then it is my fault, but I don't make it too obvious and button up high enough to cover it while still being open necked. For the same reason I don't take of my wedding ring. This doesn't mean that I won't under any circumstances. I would certainly take it off while doing physical training in a gym or close quarters self defence, it would be stupid not to. One of my own considerations about jewellery is that if a uniform is being worn (military or police) earings should not be worn, it is so out of place, inappropriate and dangerous. I act on this myself and never have worn earings at work when in uniform. I am not a do as I say not as I do kind of person. I hope I have always lead by example. Do you see where I am going with this? it is about common sense and balance.


Lastly, I have always wanted to rise up through the ranks and reach a position of authority, so I could make a difference, but I never got around to it because I was lazy. I did study to give myself a certain power when I leave my job (retire) so that I can be careful in my choice of further employment in the later years. This now seems to have been wasted. I hope that I can live long enough to work for the pleasure of it rather than necessity alone. Of course bills will still have to be paid but - I want to do what I want to do. I also have wished to live abroad, in a sunny and laid back environment, maybe I will and may be I won't now be able to, but I will explore those possibilities. I will learn a language, play golf, swim more, paint and write for the pleasure of it. Is this where I thought I would be at nearly 52, no it is not.

If fate puts a strict time limit on me then, I will travel until I no longer can. I will enjoy my life.

That it for now. Love Granny.

THE PRICE OF WAR (World War One) need I say more.
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I LOVE BEACH HUTS.
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WHAT A DOG, EDMUND FRANCOISE
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FRIDAY MOAN

I have to say 'rock on' General Sir Richard Dannatt, I saw him a little while ago on TV and said to Mick, now here's a man who will speak his mind and yes he has. There is need for a plan, and there isn't one so this leaves our soldiers exposed. Being a history person, there is a real sense of being here before ie World War One and lots of political interference. Of course the Vietnam war seems to have been lost on the Americans. Lessons learnt? No. Don't get me wrong or misquote me I am not an anti war harridan, I am as opposed to that lot as I am the politicians and religious interferance.

There is no such thing as peacekeeping, war is war is war, do it and get out. You cannot get between to warring tribes when they both seek power you cannot win. Pull out and if they choose to fight each other and kill themselves and others while so doing then so be it, that is their problem and not ours.

There are greater issues for our safety than this that are going on under the cover of Iraq - North Korea and Iran do not like being sidelined by the issues of Afganistan and Iraq, so what do they do - they up the anti with saber rattling the nuclear bomb - this is dangerous! you had better believe they will use whatever they have. If that doesn't frighten us then nothing else should. Both states have no scruples and they both have a brainwashed population. Just take a look at the pictures of marching armies and faceless throngs coming from both states. I recall the pictures of Nazi Germany prior to World War Two - a very similar example of mass control by hysterical leaders as witnessed in the Nuremberg rallies, change the nation and you have both these states doing the self same thing. It is about control and their love of it, they are high on power and are dangerous for that very reason. Their own people mean nothing to them. They will destroy everything and everyone just to prove a point. Both will sell nucelar devices to the person who comes knocking on their door, why? for hard cash and any group who could destroy their enemies for them. We do not need any peace in our time bits of paper! because all politicians lie.

What of China, well they will pick up the pieces! they just have to sit back and let what is going to happen happen. Here is a country that kills its own people to harvest body parts for transplant in the name of justice, allows baby girls to die in the name of population control (boys are needed for the army of course) and makes a mockery of the animal world in an 'Olympic Games for Animals' and we are all going to be watching the real Olympics there soon - so much for moral stands. They will be only to happy if Korea and Iran do the hard work for them.


Come on open your eyes. love Granny

WISP IS BACK

On Tuesday I was looking out the office window and there she was 'WISP' making an elegant entrance into our garden, light of foot and so beautiful. She seems to have an afternoon beat, ariving between 2pm and 3pm.

Just a moment ago a Blue Tit arrived had hung out on the water overflow pipe under the eaves to take a little drink. This again gave me an excellent view.

After yesterdays very heavy rain, today is sunny and warm which is pleasant for me. The tree is quiet except for a crow who appears to ge drying out.

I am feeling better again today, which I am thankful for. I am going to try and write a couple of articles and to do some work on my PhD (If my brain will let me)

As a passionate England football supporter, I am sad about yesterdays game against Croatia. Bring back Beckham is what I say. For the under 21's 2 nice goals from Theo Woollcot. Please God let us play as a team. I think I would ditch Roony for a while he is too much the prima donna and in truth he is fading some what, too much too soon seems about right.


I am looking forward to seeing Mum at the weekend. Love Granny.

CLOSE ENCOUNTER WITH A BLUE TIT

That doesn't mean my left boob either!!!

Today while in the office I was amazed to see a blue tit trying to fly in the window, it then hung on the wall under the eaves for a splendid view. I became aware of a regular gaggle of Blue Tits in the trees. My neighbours Alan and Angela had hung out some fresh peanut dispensers and boy did these gyes know it, a regular feeding frenzie. I called to Mick and he saw this cute little fella and we were so close. If we had been outside this would not have been possible.

I am avidly watching Autumn watch on the BBC it is so interesting.

Mick took me out yesterday, which was wonderful, just being out. I have an aroma therapy appointment this week at the Hospital. As part of my treatment it is the most pleasant experience.

If you get into Joe's site, forget his local political stuff, just look at his wild life pictures and those of the environment at his place - he gets some magic shots. www.national-joe-a-graphic.blogspot.com/


Please engage in the debate 'history matters' on the web, I am passionate about history and its study so can not wait to see the film 'The History Boys' There was an excellent article in the times yesterday by Dr David Starkey. History really does MATTER.

Love Granny

AMISH EXAMPLE

It should be a lesson to us all, the Amish response to the killing of the 5 little girls. They had it in their hearts to invite the wife of the killer to the funeral, accepting that she and her children were as much victims as their own. This was an act of reconsilation we could well take heart from. The wife attended, was taken by carriage with the rest. It was peaceful and full of dignity. No one will ever understand this act, but to carry anger in your heart makes it harder to bear the loss and to heal. I admire this attitude of forgiveness, I wish I could be so inclinde.

As you can probably tell I am feeling better myself, Alan, Julie, Rachel and Sam came to see me yesterday and cheered me up so much. I have my taste back, tea is less like liquid iron on the tongue.


Today I have been 27 years in my job. Now theres a thing!

Love granny

UPDATE

Well here I am again, not feeling well at all today. Fatigue is a real pain in the arse (and it's raining bah!!) I also feel sick all the time, not heavily just persistant and annoying. My head is also aching and feels heavy and nothing tastes as it should. Sorry to be a moaning minnie, just feeling Yuck. This really is to be expected of course and I knew I would feel this way. merlot and I will just keep at it, and try and move forward.

Love Granny

AUTUMN WATCH

Please try and watch Autumn Watch on BB2 with Bill Odie and Kate Humble it is the highlight of my day.

During the past 6 months Mick and I have been aware of a nocturnal visitor in our garden. We had reason to believe that it likes our overgrown shed roof that backs on to the cemetery wall and shelters there. Merlot goes completely ape about this 'phantom' lurking there because she cannot reach the roof. Well, yesterday I made a discovery. I just happened to be in the office and looking out of the window at the butterflies, when I noticed a movement, slinky and subtle the creature emerged from the roof undegrowth and slid over the wall into our neighbours garden. It was a beautiful young fox, a vixen I think. She moved with delicacy along the back of my neighbour garden pausing under the trees near the pond and looking intently at a plump woodpigeon. She carried on to the out house turned and returned sliping back over the fence to our shed, where she sat an gave me perfect look at her sweet little face. She was totally alert but comfortable sunning herself briefly, her muzzel was shiny white and her eyes bright. she then slipped without effort down between wall and shed. I have no doubt she is our resident. I was really eager to tell Mick, he said perhaps we will have cubs soon. Later that evening the noise from the cemetery was of fox calls, and I believe he will be proved correct. The place is ideal for her, good cover, ready water and food on the wing. Today there are tell tale feathers on the shed! Sadly I did not have my camera nearby to snap a picture. I hope to see her again. I think I will call her 'Wisp' it seems appropriate since she has been 'A will'o the wisp'.

Today the sun is out and the Red Admirals are back basking on one of our bushes. The berries are begining to colour up, some red and some shiny black.

I have noticed while sitting here these past months is that because the window is under the eaves, when the huge Woodpigeons decide to land on our gutter it is as if they are going to land belly up on the window. I get a perfect undercarriage view. I never cease to be amazed by nature and although there is an increasing chill in the air, I have two months of heavenly colour to enjoy.

Love Granny XXXX

UPDATE

Still feeling poorly, but I was expecting this. I am trying to function normally. Love Granny XX

AMISH SHOOTINGS

How sad is this news, that one man with a grudge for twenty years takes it out on such innocents. Nothing justifies this action. It serves me to believe that in ordinary hands there is no need what so ever for guns, no matter what a constitution says (because that is a man made creed) The same applies to knives which in this country, where they have become a fashion item. A father stabbed in London for confronting teenages who have no respect for anything. We do not need to kill for food any more, we kill for grudges, greed, spite and !!!!

These poor little girls, who have been brought up in very old ways, who knew nothing of life executed in a horrific way - why? for being female. How great must their terror have been, shame on us all for allowing it to happen by not standing up to the gun lobby.

Yes this is a rant, because there is no justification whatsoever for this mans actions, none.

I also pray for the young polish student murdered in Scotland. What a sad world we live in.


Love Granny xx

GALAPAGOS

Please if you get a chance watch, BBC2 series (three progs) about the the Galapagos Islands. It is a must. the first was extraordinary (repeated tonight) called Born of Fire. If you want to understand the world and evolution then this is a must see. It can only get better and the wildlife photography is beyond belief, as is the view of the earth. It has made my week especially the Booby birds, who mate for life and have a wonderful ritual of love. Life is hare here on these islands, but miraculous.


Love Granny

DO I RANT?

Possibly, since I have strong opinions. But I do believe in balance and fairmindedness. I believe in the centre path. I am opposed to fanaticism, excess and overt celebrity which is so much disposable nonsence (tissues infact) I believe money is not everything and power is flawed. I distrust politicians and religious leaders who only have their own interests at heart. I condemn drug dealers who dine out on the bodies and frailties of the weak. I detest the famous who tell us it is cool to do drugs or carry a weapon shame on them!. When it comes to crime! murder, rape, child abuse and domestic violence are not to be tolerated ever. Yes I rant, but I hope in a good cause.


Love Granny XXXX