STILL TIRED

This last session of chemo has made me very tired. I have been staying in bed where I feel cosy and comfortable and safe. I had quite a long talk with my chemo nurse Yvonne this time round (Keith was on his hols) I realise I must be careful about what I say about cancer and where I direct you. Firstly all our breast cancers are different really, we all react differently to treatment. This is important so that we don't build up unrealistic expectations beyond the nature of the cancer we have. This can be self defeating. Learn and discuss with your medical team. There is so much info out there, most recently in The Independent who had massive front page coverage on the subject (Friday 29th) 80% Rise in Breast Cancer since 1970's!!!! I believe my reasons are since this is a Hormonal Cancer that I have, 1) Never having children so no breast feeding 2) Fat, this is reflected in the fact I had my gaul bladder (fat related) removed last year I was over weight -result I have dramactically changed my diet, 3) Late menopause 4) Alcohol in take more than I should. Some of our experiences are good and some dreadful. Not every treatment works in each case but remember that a postive attitude is so important. We need not to apologise to the world for how we feel or look. Within safe parameters we need to get out there and show people we are not all dying but some sadly have/are and they need love and understanding. It is the big possibility, but not without a fight I can tell you.

I go to my local pub, and my dear friend 'Long John' always gives me a huge hug and says loudly "how is my sexy gorgeous girl", I say "you forgot to call my baldy!" He does wonders making me feel normal and it is a huge demonstration of his support. I hope it shows that I don't care squat about my hair. The Land Lord Kevin has my special drink ready (grapefruit and tonic water) and kisses my hand and other people come up and include me in their groups and fun. Now thats what I call friendship. I am also allowed to sit, read my paper, do my crossword and enjoy the general 'old fahionedness' of a place I love.


Love Granny XXX