Thursday, January 25, 2007

THE END OF AN ERA

Sadly my beloved Auntie Vicki aka Joan Riodean nee Cowlin died yesterday afternoon. She was not alone, she was in her own home and she died peacefully.

I saw her the day before her death onTuesday. She was sitting in her arm chair, looking out at her garden. She was dressed in white trousers, a red shirt and white cardigan and we joked that she could play for Manchester United dressed like that. Her hair was blond, washed and lightly set in waves. Her friend Julie had taken the trouble to do this for her. Auntie was a hairdresser and how she looked mattered to her, I never saw her anything other than smart and stylish - even when so ill. She maintained her dignity to the end. Her mind was active and she knew what she wanted. She had told both Julie and I that she was not afraid of death and was happy the end was near, but she wanted to sort out her buisness before hand. She was trying to eat and drink but even the liquid she tried to swallow hurt her "It feels like a ton of coal" she told me. Yet she had continued to do her crochet, to keep her mind and hands active.


She was fiercely independant and had been the rock that had supported her sister Ruby and her husband John. When Ruby's husband Peter died (he was the first to go) it marked the change of all their plans because all 4 had done everything together and planned a long and happy retirement doing lots of things. This never happened. Ruby became ill, and six weeks after Peter died John had a stroke so Auntie Vicki was left to cope and cope she did. Uncle John developed Altzimers but auntie coped with him at home until he died. Then there were 2. Ruby always the most fagile leant heavily of Vicki until she also died 9 years ago. Vicki moved to live in Ruby's bungalow having sold her own house and thank god she did.

Auntie kept all their pictures on a special shelf in her lounge along with other family photos of those who had died - including Young Ron her brother who died age 12 in an accident. She kept Ruby's room as it had been while she was alive, in memory of her. Beside the bed was the big picture of Ron. Neither sister ever forgot their brother. Auntie always kept the house immaculate, decorated and the garden cared for. Eventually last year she was fortunate to find Julie who helped her maintain her home when she became less able to do the physical stuff.


Auntie Ruby and Auntie Vicki were my god mothers and as I child I was often in their company and they were my role models. I was never child like - I was always an 'oldie' in my ways. I was spoilt by them and both Uncles (God Fathers) I remember these times with love and affection. Neither Aunts had children, and so I was, as the only child in the family from 1954-1960 the object of much attention. I know that Auntie Vicki, loved Julie whom she told me was like the child she would have wanted. They loved to talk and Julie held her hand as she died, surrounded by the nurses, she just slipped away.


When I left her on tuesday I had satisfied myself she was where she wanted to be with the support and care she needed, with Macmillian nurses and night staff. I nealt by her side and said - "This is a girl thing, you and I are going to fight this" She smiled and said "Yes we would"
She smelt fragrant, her skin was soft and her eyes despite weariness had that wicked look she gave me when we shared a joke. I have her wedding photograph for a keep sake, she looked so beauiful and John so proud. I am happy to know they are together again.


I am heartbroken, but she is at peace, no longer in pain and my memory of my last meeting with her is brilliant because she looked so peaceful and she seemed like her old self. She never lost her dignity what more can a person ask when they leave this world. What of her life and death?well she did it her way.


I love you Auntie. Granny XXXXXXXX

Friday, January 19, 2007

CASINO ROYALE

This is a real must see film. Mick took me on wednesday to see it. It is brilliant. Daniel Craig reinvents James Bond, he is fantastic in the role. The film is a real thriller. This is the best yet with a really good villan played by Mads Mikkelsen and Judi Dench's 'M' is excellent. Not for the faint hearted and men attached to their balls !!!!!!! Love Granny.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

GOODY GOODY GOODY

At last people are waking up to the fact that Jade Goody is a terrible example of british womanhood. She is and always been loud, rude, ignorant and objectionable. She and Dannielle and Jo are classic girl bullies of the type that inhabit our society, you find them in every playground. They are shallow and stupid and pick on people they know show them up. Shilpa is beautiful, elegant, graceful, intelligent, successful and provides a threat to the other three who know they cannot compete.


I do not watch hours of big brother, I do dip in and out, out of curiosity which of course is the whole idea. What I should do and so should every one else - is switch off. I imagine that few people will want to wear a perfume known as Jade now since she has caused such a stink, by showing her true character. Hang on a minute, didn't we put our favourite 'Chav' up there in the first place.

It actually sends out as a strong message about class, education and culture as it does about racism. While I don't think it is purely racisim, it is the unconsious kind we heard about in the Macpherson report. It is the mix that is dangerous. We can see that these three are uneducated, and heaven forbid are role models for our daughters and grand daughters. It has also been clear that Jade in particular is a product of her mother's upbringing of her.....like mother like daughter. Well clearly she has never been taught manners nor good behaviour. We have all seen the pictures of Jade in the papers at a brawl where she 'intervened' to help someone so I would say to Shilpa don't be tempted to hit any of them, that would be an excuse for them to really hurt you.


I have dealt with females like them all my service, they are the same girls you see in the much publised binge drinking culture. Perhaps what hurts us also so much is seeing a reflection of british society as others see it. This summer this tribe will swan off to the sun and prove to the host countries that we are - awful, binge drinking, engaging in public sexual activity, being sick, nosiy, rude and frankly unbearable.

What I have noted is the concern that Cleo Rocas has shown, about the situation, trying to befriend this poor girl. Who has we must also accept lived a priviliged life and was protected by a loving faminly. One of the other things I have noted that it is along age that the lines have been drawn, the older sensible housemates versus cras youth.


This is reality TV....... yes reality, the three girls show clearly what and who they are in reality.

Please note that I do not want to be judged by their actions, I am nothing like them I HOPE!!!!!


vote Cleo. Love granny.

KYLIE TAKE CARE

Kylie, please listen to your body. I worry you are in denial about the fact you have been through arduous breast cancer treatment. Like me your body has been stripped of its immunity, your body has been physically stressed by an operation, poisoned by chemo to kill the cells and radiated. Do not think that because you are 18 months on that you are free to do anything you want because 12 months of that 18 months included these treatments. You have not allowed your body to regenerate itself. I know how tired I feel all the time.

Of course you must not be defined by it, limited either for that matter but....reality reality reality means by all means push yourself but with baby steps!!! a contradiction NO just sense. I am back at work but on very limited hours directed by advisors who understand what I have been through. Yes you look wonderful, yes you are brave but please listen to your doctors a severe infection could kill you. It was a big fear of mine, a chest infection since I am prone to them and realised that if I acted inappropriately I would pay a heavy price in my recovery.

In your particular case your career requires huge physical demand (on stage) and to be an icon of fashion and beauty requires you to put on a positive face all the time for the cameras! this is not worth your life.


Glamour magazine has voted you top of 50 best dressed women, and you have been in the last year congratulations. I do admire you and your look BUT the cost my dear fellow survior may be too much. GOOD LUCK. GRANNY.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

IT REALLY IS A MUST - Fashion comments

I took a slow walk round Bluewater on Tuesday prior to going back to work, to see what remained of the sales and to see what I had been missing all these weeks.

A real MUST. Please take a trip to the 'Oriental Pearl' The ultimate fashion jewellery shop. It does Bags and Hats as well, but best of all (since this place makes Alladins cave look dull) you can have a piece made up to your own specifications right there and then. Loads of pretty beads to choose from. Go on - just for the fun of it.

I was on the whole disappointed, nothing really excited me. Could someone please tell me why I cannot buy ordinary Navy Blue tights, is there a 'ban' in place??????

M and S has upped its game and I do like to shop there now. The Monsoon sale is always worth a look, but it does reflect the huge mark up their dresses etc. Definately the time to by that evening dress.

I had a great encounter with a young sales woman for 'bellapierre' make up. She did me a face make over and I felt very good and she was interested in my grey hair - growing back nicely. She made me feel important and normal and I loved the look. www.bellapierre.com


I have been developing my look for work, Black, grey and white work really well, because I like to feel that I look professional and right when I am at work I certainly don't want to look ill.


A very good idea in this seasons Littlewood catalogue is the inclusion of a little book 'Trinny and Susannah - THE RULES -a beginners guide to better dressing. clear clever and focused advice.


I am a big fan of the Maxi Skirt ( a 1970's term making a come back) I loved them and wore them in the 70's and of course I still do. I also like to wear footless tights under my cotton ones, I wear a lot of sandals (my preference) and this combo works for me.

When I hit the beach from now on I shall have to wear a shrug to protect my left arm - this is fine since I love them, especially the light weight type with a T shirt. Littlewoods have some great colours, so they will look OK on the beach with a swimsuit.


I saw a classic fashion Fopah in the Magazine In Style on page 15 a picture of Miscah Barton in Matthew Williamson design dress in black, one shoulder style short puff ball with foot less tights and sandals (THIS WAS NOT A GOOD LOOK, IN FACT HIDEOUS.)


I also spotted a nice sleeveless black and white shift type dress in the magazine and went to seek it out at H and M in Bluewater, at £34 pounds it will make a nice spring summer staple with a dress up or dress down making possibilities endless. It will look fab with my long line Paul Costello Black Linen Jacket, which is a long standing friend. I might buy this dress.

I continue to beg you not to wear roman sandals with ties that go up the leg - Yuk.


As a rule I am against cut off trousers, but I noticed some nice Clamdiggers in denim by 'Love Label' in the Littlewoods catalogue. Will look great on the beach with kaftans or long jumpers. Tight trousers cut like this are not really for those over a size 16 and anyway should always be worn with consideration to bulges and outlines. These along with shorts should not be worn to the officer or for meetings. OH NO> I am not sizeist, but I think people need to make the best of themselves and not all fashions work on all people.


I am begining to put on weight due to the hormone treatment so I will have to watch what I WEAR. It always settles around my middle. So I shall be doing some excercise, while continuing to watch my diet re fats (a hangover from having my gall bladder removed)


The WRAP catalogue dropped through the letter box the other day as usual great items - but too expensive. I love this catalogue but only use it as my style guide. I am glad to say trouser and skirt waists are up at the waist in this seasons selections - please let this mean no more bellies on display (unless pregnant)


I am a bit of an oddball where fashion is concerned, I like a coordinated look, you know matching and toning - but I do like the daring, a statement if you like of my personal style, the inner me. This has it's place you know, but not in the workplace (unless this a funky and up beat sort of location) Dress appropriately and see your professional staus raise, you are taken seriously as a contender for the next project promotion etc. For me this is important since I have spent much of my life in uniform.


I have made a hair decision. When it has grown back just a little more, I shall keep it at the shorter length, grey looks better this way and it has opened up my face. I have had to give thought to changing my make up colour, and I will make a play on my eyes. I am comfortable with it this way and I like the look.


Time to go, have fun with clothes. Love Granny

THANKS RHEA.

Rhea I do thank you for your supportive comments. Have a Happy New Year. Granny

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

THIS IS IT

I am going back to work on Wednesday 10th. Confirmed. I can't tell you how happy I am.

The last 7 or so months have been a real journey.

Love Granny

Saturday, January 06, 2007

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Happy New Year to everybody. I finished my treatments yesterday so for me that is the end of seven months of cancer focus. Now I want to widen my scope and I am glad to say I go back to work next Wednesday. Mick took me out for a meal to celebrate. I can expect the residual effects to last for two more weeks and I must see the consultant in 4 to 6 weeks to establish how successful the treatments have been. I cannot wait to go swimming again when the burns have gone.

On Jan 1st I was able to visit my Aunt in hospital to satisfy myself that she was being cared for. She looked so much better than I thought she would. She was up and dressed immaculately but has to have constant oxygen for her breathing. I get the impression that her tumor is quite large. She was an inspiration of positivity, she refuses to be down. She had initially refused treatment because she said she was to old and that it should be for the young. I believe they would no have offered if they had not been sure they could reduce it a little. She refuses to go to Clacton Hospital and remains in Colchester where she is happy. I know she is quite afraid of Clacton Hospital and would not get on well there. She looks so tiny and frail with a swollen face but has an indomitable spirit, she has a very able mind she remembers lots of things and 85 years old she makes most younger people look silly. I took her in a guardian angel and like me believes that our relatives who have died watch over us, I said to her that my guardian angels were my nana, my aunts and my dad - likewise she felt the same. I looked at the video I have of her when she was young (transfered from 35mm film) and the both of us together, what memories. She will stand her ground, she wants to go home with support, she will need oxygen constantly and home care. I am willing her on. I want her to be comfortable and safe.

I have kept my eye on the press - I am sorry to hear about the death of a five year old girl when bitten by her uncles dog! The dog is shot of course, but the person to blame is the owner not the dog, the dog was doing what dogs do and not trained other wise. People really need to take responsibility. However I leave you to read the stories about this owner and make your own judgements.

Yesterday the garden was alive with lots of birds, Bluetits and a coal tit amongst others. All these birds are so small and dart about all over the place. it is like HEATHROW as they get into a holding pattern waiting to land at my neighbours feeder. Mick has become aquainted with SUPER SQUIRREL who is the biggest either of us ever seen. In dominates the tree and races everywhere. Today it is raining heavily and steadily it all seems so grey.

I do hope the Green message will get through......however, when I have been travelling on the train to hospital I have noticed how little people care, throwing litter around without a thought, spitting etc I have had a lot of opportunity to observe behaviour - loud music, mobile phone conversations, feet on seats are particular hates of mine. There are little or no manners, with everybody barging about. On stairs particularly no one keeps to the keep left concept of safety, thereby blocking routes to others (much the way people drive without thinking) The trains are dirty and disgusting for the most part. So if they want people to travel on the train more, they need to up the conditions, reduce the fares, provide security on the train in the form of guards. I do not want to be intimidated when I travel and neither does anyone else.


Love for the New Year. Lets hope Peace is given a chance, it wont be of course, there is money in war. Granny

Sunday, December 31, 2006

I ASK YOU TO PRAY

Please pray for my aunty Vicki, who is in Colchester Hospital with Lung cancer and secondary kidney cancer. I spoke to her today, she is having Radiotherapy although she initially declined on account of her age. She is comfortable and sounded cheerful. At least she is in a good place and they are caring for her nad she is not alone. She is my Godmother and I love her dearly.

Love Granny.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

WHAT CHRISTMAS IS ABOUT!

Christmas is of course about the birth of Christ although you would never think it judging from the rampant consumerism that grips the nation. Some, who are less fortunate cannot indulging in the feeding frenzie that goes on. I think it is important we remember that. And what about Bethlehem? nothing changes only the uniforms.

This year we mourned the death of Auntie Elsie, and Mick and I spent Christmas with her sister, my mother-in-law because there was a big empty space at the heart of her family. I was fortunate to be given a brooch (I am a collector) of an Elephant which had been Elsie's I was touched to have been given it - for me the perfect item to remember with since Elephants never forget. She was in all our hearts.

I was sorry to hear of the death of James Brown the Godfather of Soul on Christmas Day - his words, "I feel Good" I my mantra for obvious reasons. I suspect he is singing in heaven and rocking the joint. We also lost Charlie Drake this Christmas and I suspect he is teaching God some prat falls.

This year I have been very lucky, oh yes I have (oh no you haven't, it's behind you) that is to say in true Panto style I can only think of postives. Like.... catching up with old school friends on Friends Reunited, Orville and Paul. Learning a lot about myself has been crucial. I have been busy looking at nature to give myself a much needed boost. My sister in law Elaine, has been unfailing in her phone calls to cheer me up. My brother and sister in law Gill have watched over Mum because I could not get to visit as much as I would wish. This is what I call team work. I phone Mum everyday to have a chat and to check she is ok.

Mick has been a brick, and working very hard - the farm shop has been interesting to say the least. I could not have made it through without him. We are the couple who 'bicker' but stay together because it's fun and we are a great team.


Christmas has not been free of sadness this year for others. I was so sad to hear of the death of the pilots and passengers of a helicopter in Morecombe Bay. The deaths of soldiers and civilians elsewhere in the world.

I was glad to read that the stupid ruling about not being able to convict for rape where the victim is drunk isto be dealt with by the government. Some men have hidden for to long behind this defence. Consent should be informed consent and when you are drunk you cannot give this. I am not so much concerned about the introduction of drugs into drink, the problem is that in the current climate drinks are mixed when a person has had one or two becoming doubles or even trebles in some instances. The Sex Offences Act 2004 did already deal with the issue of consent and this has not be used correctly in the courts. You have to know what you are consenting to for it to be valid, and with whom you are consenting to do it with. It is just another form of force and a way to move blame. To have sex with another who is too drunk to know what is happening or give correct consent is an abuse of trust and a shame on those who do this. They seek then to shift the blame for their actions on the victim. I do believe however that where a woman is proved to have lied about rape, that is, made a false claim deliberately then she should be named, in order to protect genuine victims.


What Christmas is about? well Christ actually.

Love from Granny.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

A MILLION LOVE SONGS LATER, HERE I AM

Sorry to have been away, no mouse and no keyboard = no writing sorry.

Halfway through the radiotherapy and it's OK. My machine is Electa 2 at St Thomas's and the whole team are great fun. It is very strange I am laid out like a frog for disection and then they play battle ships on me.....with the computer all very technical. Matt is Australian and supervises the operation, he is great fun we talk cricket obviously and I think he is a little homesick. He thinks I am mad, that coming from a man who was going to three parties in one night!!!!

Lets look forward to Jan 5th when the treatment stops, and I can begin to be me again. I have a light covering of white baby hair now so perhaps when it comes through more I should dye it bright pink!!!!! Kylie looks very cool in her perfume ads with her short hair.


Let's here it for the Argentine Tango, as danced tonight on Strictly Come dancing, it is my favourite dance and I recommend anyone to see 'Tango Por Dos' when they come to London (usually at the Peacock Theater) for they do IT FANTASTICALLY as you would expect.


My heart is with the five prostitutes murdered in Ipswich. This is shocking and I wish I could be working on the case. I am a supporter of the legalisation of prostitution. However I do blame the punters, no punters (demand) no problem. It is sadly - Men who are the punters if they were not prepared to pay for sex or indeed want it then there is no trade. I have met many girls in the trade in Commercial Street and have seen the dire state that they are in when they cannot get a fix. They will do anything for 20 quid, and do. The result is running sores - many of the girls are pathetic heaps of humanity and having sex with them for cash can only be described as abuse. What man wants sex with a drugged diseased female? you would be surprised. Wives and daughters take note, in my experience it is middle class men smart and driving nice cars who go with prostitutes - not down and outs. I once found a group of men who had brought an Asian lad down for his stag night to have sex with a prostitute!!! make of that what you will, what did he pass on? and why the double standard? a girl who has sex before marriage in such cultures would be ostrasied or stoned to death. DOUBLE STANDARDS. The reality is the suspect for the murders is a husband or a brother, father or son. As I have said many times before the Drug supply trade is to blame for the decent of humanity into greater degredation. Yes these things have always been around, but so have the expoliters - those who make millions of pounds on the lives of others.

To young girls out there, this is not a glamourous life style, it is as low as you can get. But don't turn your back on these girls, turn on the men. Remember that women are generally on the lower end of the economics of a country. it is better to stay at school, get an education and beat men at their own game in the places were money is made.

It really does not help when certain famous folks flash their drugs habits in our faces and the law seems unable to deal. They are arrested for sure - only to get pultry fines and made even more glamourous by the courts. You know who I mean.


Now for FASHION. I have always been a Katherine Hepburn fan, in terms of style. In that style way I like Calvin Kline and Stella McCartney. See Instyle for jan page 31. Baggy trousers and tops are very me, in Black in grey and in blue.


Since I will never be on a Red Carpet I don't do that kind of glitz but I am Dita Von Teese fan who is just beautiful and does up front glam with panache. What I wore for a recent party was a long black linen skirt and black devore top with black beads and a large coin belt. I felt OK.


TRIBUTE. To my mother - in - laws sister Elsie Perry, who died on Wednesday. She had been ill for so long, and was determined to die at home. She was a very remarkable strong woman and I loved her dearly. When I last saw her she was in hospital, she was dressed and made up and I thought then - Yes that is the way to be - be yourself. Mum - in - Law Ellen and other sister Beattie will miss her as will I. My prays are with her. Elsie had her own style and was a great friend and sister, wife and mother.


LET'S BE POSITIVE THIS CHRISTMAS. GRANNY

Saturday, December 02, 2006

HERE WE ARE AGAIN.

I have just finished my first full week of radiotherapy, it aint that bad, the Auzzie radiographers are cool and we talk cricket of course. COME ON ENGLAND. LETS SHOW SOME FIGHTING SPIRIT. The journey is a bind but not a bad as it could be. I get tired, but last night I partied. Spotted a large rat at the station, I love rats as most people know, I am not sure my fellow passengers enjoyed it quite so much. Also when I go to Tommies I stop by the London Eye - I have become friendly with a Crow, who hangs out there, I hope to get him to feed from my hand. He is so curious and fun to watch as he decides if he can trust me or not. The pigeons from trafalgar Square may be subject to a feeding ban, it says nothing about crows.


It was the 'Close Do'last night and it was nice to see old and new neighbours enjoying time out. We ate, drank and sang at TWIN noodle bar which was a hoot.

I did turn up, head neatly polished - wearing a nice silky brown skirt, vest, blouse and shrug in the same tones. Now Michelle and I did not discuss this, but both managed to turn up tone atune and style together, if not exactly twins.

THE TREE was full of activity today, squirel versus two crows and three magpies, the crows were the heavy artillery and the magpies a harrying infantry, while squirel one rushed all over the show.


Now please tell me who voted Matt king of the jungle, nice guy but not the winner, Jason and Myleen yess. Oh well thats over for another year. Tonight I am going to watch Strictly Come Dancing, Oh when can I tango again? sorry to be a bore but I LOVE IT.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

1ST RADIOTHERAPY

Mick accompanied me to St Thomas's yesterday for the first of my daily trips. It all went well and I am confident about the process. It is a really nice place. Free tea and coffee a nice bonus. Better yet when I cam out there was a guy playing the piano in the Central Hall where they Free concerts. This was brilliant, and sounded wonderful, what better way to feel better than to hear good live music, much better than recorded because there is te personal element. People can sit and listen and relax. Again a good remedial therapy. I was also impressed by the focus on multi faith availability there is someone for all faiths and I really do mean all.

I shall be off on my travels again shortly.

IT IS SO WRONG

Further to my post about Janet Street Porters article, I must say I could not agree more. There should be NO mixed NHS wards. There is no dignity for either sex at a time when they are most vulnerable being placed in a mixed sex ward. I felt safe because I was in a female ward, I could talk to women in a similar condition and I was relaxed so I felt I could get better quicker. The talk is always of service according to need. The need is for privacy, security,care and dignity. The article was in the Mail and in the Independent on Sunday - worth a read.

Love Granny

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

THE TREE OF LIFE

After a quiet period The Tree has been a hive of activity. Mick and I saw 2 Woodpeckers not sure if they are a pair or siblings. They were very busy rushing up and down the trunk and under boughs. There has been a battle between a very large squirrel and 2 equally large crows. Squirrel 2 Crows 0. It has been sunny thus far today only now I think rain is on the way. There have been some Jays about but the Magpies seem to have done a disappearing act.

You will laugh, I went out singing last night the first time in ages, I felt I could give it a go. Wearing Black with my trade mark pink scarf and the 'Tickled Pink' breast cancer T shirt. I sang. 'Hello Again' (Neil Diamond) 'Over the rainbow' (Eva Cassidy version) 'The Long and Winding Road' and Jolene (Dolly Parton - and me with only one and half boobs) The songs were well received so I count myself a Bald Diva.

You must look at Joes site, He and Jen rescued an injured eagle, the pictures are wicked. http://www.sbynews.blogspot.com/ is the new address is.

Take care all Loves Yer. granny

Monday, November 20, 2006

JANET STREET PORTER

I was sorry to read of her sisters death from Lung Cancer and a cancer that had reached her brain. It would appear her last months were painful and unhappy. I am sorry the NHS appeared to fail her. I send my condolences. Love Granny.

MERLOT AND I RESTING AS USUAL!!!!
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THE NET HOUSES IN HASTINGS.
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RELAXING IN THE COAL HOLE PH 2006
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NOVEMBER THE 12TH 2006, REMEMBERING ALL
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