Sadly my beloved Auntie Vicki aka Joan Riodean nee Cowlin died yesterday afternoon. She was not alone, she was in her own home and she died peacefully.
I saw her the day before her death onTuesday. She was sitting in her arm chair, looking out at her garden. She was dressed in white trousers, a red shirt and white cardigan and we joked that she could play for Manchester United dressed like that. Her hair was blond, washed and lightly set in waves. Her friend Julie had taken the trouble to do this for her. Auntie was a hairdresser and how she looked mattered to her, I never saw her anything other than smart and stylish - even when so ill. She maintained her dignity to the end. Her mind was active and she knew what she wanted. She had told both Julie and I that she was not afraid of death and was happy the end was near, but she wanted to sort out her buisness before hand. She was trying to eat and drink but even the liquid she tried to swallow hurt her "It feels like a ton of coal" she told me. Yet she had continued to do her crochet, to keep her mind and hands active.
She was fiercely independant and had been the rock that had supported her sister Ruby and her husband John. When Ruby's husband Peter died (he was the first to go) it marked the change of all their plans because all 4 had done everything together and planned a long and happy retirement doing lots of things. This never happened. Ruby became ill, and six weeks after Peter died John had a stroke so Auntie Vicki was left to cope and cope she did. Uncle John developed Altzimers but auntie coped with him at home until he died. Then there were 2. Ruby always the most fagile leant heavily of Vicki until she also died 9 years ago. Vicki moved to live in Ruby's bungalow having sold her own house and thank god she did.
Auntie kept all their pictures on a special shelf in her lounge along with other family photos of those who had died - including Young Ron her brother who died age 12 in an accident. She kept Ruby's room as it had been while she was alive, in memory of her. Beside the bed was the big picture of Ron. Neither sister ever forgot their brother. Auntie always kept the house immaculate, decorated and the garden cared for. Eventually last year she was fortunate to find Julie who helped her maintain her home when she became less able to do the physical stuff.
Auntie Ruby and Auntie Vicki were my god mothers and as I child I was often in their company and they were my role models. I was never child like - I was always an 'oldie' in my ways. I was spoilt by them and both Uncles (God Fathers) I remember these times with love and affection. Neither Aunts had children, and so I was, as the only child in the family from 1954-1960 the object of much attention. I know that Auntie Vicki, loved Julie whom she told me was like the child she would have wanted. They loved to talk and Julie held her hand as she died, surrounded by the nurses, she just slipped away.
When I left her on tuesday I had satisfied myself she was where she wanted to be with the support and care she needed, with Macmillian nurses and night staff. I nealt by her side and said - "This is a girl thing, you and I are going to fight this" She smiled and said "Yes we would"
She smelt fragrant, her skin was soft and her eyes despite weariness had that wicked look she gave me when we shared a joke. I have her wedding photograph for a keep sake, she looked so beauiful and John so proud. I am happy to know they are together again.
I am heartbroken, but she is at peace, no longer in pain and my memory of my last meeting with her is brilliant because she looked so peaceful and she seemed like her old self. She never lost her dignity what more can a person ask when they leave this world. What of her life and death?well she did it her way.
I love you Auntie. Granny XXXXXXXX
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Friday, January 19, 2007
CASINO ROYALE
This is a real must see film. Mick took me on wednesday to see it. It is brilliant. Daniel Craig reinvents James Bond, he is fantastic in the role. The film is a real thriller. This is the best yet with a really good villan played by Mads Mikkelsen and Judi Dench's 'M' is excellent. Not for the faint hearted and men attached to their balls !!!!!!! Love Granny.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
GOODY GOODY GOODY
At last people are waking up to the fact that Jade Goody is a terrible example of british womanhood. She is and always been loud, rude, ignorant and objectionable. She and Dannielle and Jo are classic girl bullies of the type that inhabit our society, you find them in every playground. They are shallow and stupid and pick on people they know show them up. Shilpa is beautiful, elegant, graceful, intelligent, successful and provides a threat to the other three who know they cannot compete.
I do not watch hours of big brother, I do dip in and out, out of curiosity which of course is the whole idea. What I should do and so should every one else - is switch off. I imagine that few people will want to wear a perfume known as Jade now since she has caused such a stink, by showing her true character. Hang on a minute, didn't we put our favourite 'Chav' up there in the first place.
It actually sends out as a strong message about class, education and culture as it does about racism. While I don't think it is purely racisim, it is the unconsious kind we heard about in the Macpherson report. It is the mix that is dangerous. We can see that these three are uneducated, and heaven forbid are role models for our daughters and grand daughters. It has also been clear that Jade in particular is a product of her mother's upbringing of her.....like mother like daughter. Well clearly she has never been taught manners nor good behaviour. We have all seen the pictures of Jade in the papers at a brawl where she 'intervened' to help someone so I would say to Shilpa don't be tempted to hit any of them, that would be an excuse for them to really hurt you.
I have dealt with females like them all my service, they are the same girls you see in the much publised binge drinking culture. Perhaps what hurts us also so much is seeing a reflection of british society as others see it. This summer this tribe will swan off to the sun and prove to the host countries that we are - awful, binge drinking, engaging in public sexual activity, being sick, nosiy, rude and frankly unbearable.
What I have noted is the concern that Cleo Rocas has shown, about the situation, trying to befriend this poor girl. Who has we must also accept lived a priviliged life and was protected by a loving faminly. One of the other things I have noted that it is along age that the lines have been drawn, the older sensible housemates versus cras youth.
This is reality TV....... yes reality, the three girls show clearly what and who they are in reality.
Please note that I do not want to be judged by their actions, I am nothing like them I HOPE!!!!!
vote Cleo. Love granny.
I do not watch hours of big brother, I do dip in and out, out of curiosity which of course is the whole idea. What I should do and so should every one else - is switch off. I imagine that few people will want to wear a perfume known as Jade now since she has caused such a stink, by showing her true character. Hang on a minute, didn't we put our favourite 'Chav' up there in the first place.
It actually sends out as a strong message about class, education and culture as it does about racism. While I don't think it is purely racisim, it is the unconsious kind we heard about in the Macpherson report. It is the mix that is dangerous. We can see that these three are uneducated, and heaven forbid are role models for our daughters and grand daughters. It has also been clear that Jade in particular is a product of her mother's upbringing of her.....like mother like daughter. Well clearly she has never been taught manners nor good behaviour. We have all seen the pictures of Jade in the papers at a brawl where she 'intervened' to help someone so I would say to Shilpa don't be tempted to hit any of them, that would be an excuse for them to really hurt you.
I have dealt with females like them all my service, they are the same girls you see in the much publised binge drinking culture. Perhaps what hurts us also so much is seeing a reflection of british society as others see it. This summer this tribe will swan off to the sun and prove to the host countries that we are - awful, binge drinking, engaging in public sexual activity, being sick, nosiy, rude and frankly unbearable.
What I have noted is the concern that Cleo Rocas has shown, about the situation, trying to befriend this poor girl. Who has we must also accept lived a priviliged life and was protected by a loving faminly. One of the other things I have noted that it is along age that the lines have been drawn, the older sensible housemates versus cras youth.
This is reality TV....... yes reality, the three girls show clearly what and who they are in reality.
Please note that I do not want to be judged by their actions, I am nothing like them I HOPE!!!!!
vote Cleo. Love granny.
KYLIE TAKE CARE
Kylie, please listen to your body. I worry you are in denial about the fact you have been through arduous breast cancer treatment. Like me your body has been stripped of its immunity, your body has been physically stressed by an operation, poisoned by chemo to kill the cells and radiated. Do not think that because you are 18 months on that you are free to do anything you want because 12 months of that 18 months included these treatments. You have not allowed your body to regenerate itself. I know how tired I feel all the time.
Of course you must not be defined by it, limited either for that matter but....reality reality reality means by all means push yourself but with baby steps!!! a contradiction NO just sense. I am back at work but on very limited hours directed by advisors who understand what I have been through. Yes you look wonderful, yes you are brave but please listen to your doctors a severe infection could kill you. It was a big fear of mine, a chest infection since I am prone to them and realised that if I acted inappropriately I would pay a heavy price in my recovery.
In your particular case your career requires huge physical demand (on stage) and to be an icon of fashion and beauty requires you to put on a positive face all the time for the cameras! this is not worth your life.
Glamour magazine has voted you top of 50 best dressed women, and you have been in the last year congratulations. I do admire you and your look BUT the cost my dear fellow survior may be too much. GOOD LUCK. GRANNY.
Of course you must not be defined by it, limited either for that matter but....reality reality reality means by all means push yourself but with baby steps!!! a contradiction NO just sense. I am back at work but on very limited hours directed by advisors who understand what I have been through. Yes you look wonderful, yes you are brave but please listen to your doctors a severe infection could kill you. It was a big fear of mine, a chest infection since I am prone to them and realised that if I acted inappropriately I would pay a heavy price in my recovery.
In your particular case your career requires huge physical demand (on stage) and to be an icon of fashion and beauty requires you to put on a positive face all the time for the cameras! this is not worth your life.
Glamour magazine has voted you top of 50 best dressed women, and you have been in the last year congratulations. I do admire you and your look BUT the cost my dear fellow survior may be too much. GOOD LUCK. GRANNY.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
IT REALLY IS A MUST - Fashion comments
I took a slow walk round Bluewater on Tuesday prior to going back to work, to see what remained of the sales and to see what I had been missing all these weeks.
A real MUST. Please take a trip to the 'Oriental Pearl' The ultimate fashion jewellery shop. It does Bags and Hats as well, but best of all (since this place makes Alladins cave look dull) you can have a piece made up to your own specifications right there and then. Loads of pretty beads to choose from. Go on - just for the fun of it.
I was on the whole disappointed, nothing really excited me. Could someone please tell me why I cannot buy ordinary Navy Blue tights, is there a 'ban' in place??????
M and S has upped its game and I do like to shop there now. The Monsoon sale is always worth a look, but it does reflect the huge mark up their dresses etc. Definately the time to by that evening dress.
I had a great encounter with a young sales woman for 'bellapierre' make up. She did me a face make over and I felt very good and she was interested in my grey hair - growing back nicely. She made me feel important and normal and I loved the look. www.bellapierre.com
I have been developing my look for work, Black, grey and white work really well, because I like to feel that I look professional and right when I am at work I certainly don't want to look ill.
A very good idea in this seasons Littlewood catalogue is the inclusion of a little book 'Trinny and Susannah - THE RULES -a beginners guide to better dressing. clear clever and focused advice.
I am a big fan of the Maxi Skirt ( a 1970's term making a come back) I loved them and wore them in the 70's and of course I still do. I also like to wear footless tights under my cotton ones, I wear a lot of sandals (my preference) and this combo works for me.
When I hit the beach from now on I shall have to wear a shrug to protect my left arm - this is fine since I love them, especially the light weight type with a T shirt. Littlewoods have some great colours, so they will look OK on the beach with a swimsuit.
I saw a classic fashion Fopah in the Magazine In Style on page 15 a picture of Miscah Barton in Matthew Williamson design dress in black, one shoulder style short puff ball with foot less tights and sandals (THIS WAS NOT A GOOD LOOK, IN FACT HIDEOUS.)
I also spotted a nice sleeveless black and white shift type dress in the magazine and went to seek it out at H and M in Bluewater, at £34 pounds it will make a nice spring summer staple with a dress up or dress down making possibilities endless. It will look fab with my long line Paul Costello Black Linen Jacket, which is a long standing friend. I might buy this dress.
I continue to beg you not to wear roman sandals with ties that go up the leg - Yuk.
As a rule I am against cut off trousers, but I noticed some nice Clamdiggers in denim by 'Love Label' in the Littlewoods catalogue. Will look great on the beach with kaftans or long jumpers. Tight trousers cut like this are not really for those over a size 16 and anyway should always be worn with consideration to bulges and outlines. These along with shorts should not be worn to the officer or for meetings. OH NO> I am not sizeist, but I think people need to make the best of themselves and not all fashions work on all people.
I am begining to put on weight due to the hormone treatment so I will have to watch what I WEAR. It always settles around my middle. So I shall be doing some excercise, while continuing to watch my diet re fats (a hangover from having my gall bladder removed)
The WRAP catalogue dropped through the letter box the other day as usual great items - but too expensive. I love this catalogue but only use it as my style guide. I am glad to say trouser and skirt waists are up at the waist in this seasons selections - please let this mean no more bellies on display (unless pregnant)
I am a bit of an oddball where fashion is concerned, I like a coordinated look, you know matching and toning - but I do like the daring, a statement if you like of my personal style, the inner me. This has it's place you know, but not in the workplace (unless this a funky and up beat sort of location) Dress appropriately and see your professional staus raise, you are taken seriously as a contender for the next project promotion etc. For me this is important since I have spent much of my life in uniform.
I have made a hair decision. When it has grown back just a little more, I shall keep it at the shorter length, grey looks better this way and it has opened up my face. I have had to give thought to changing my make up colour, and I will make a play on my eyes. I am comfortable with it this way and I like the look.
Time to go, have fun with clothes. Love Granny
A real MUST. Please take a trip to the 'Oriental Pearl' The ultimate fashion jewellery shop. It does Bags and Hats as well, but best of all (since this place makes Alladins cave look dull) you can have a piece made up to your own specifications right there and then. Loads of pretty beads to choose from. Go on - just for the fun of it.
I was on the whole disappointed, nothing really excited me. Could someone please tell me why I cannot buy ordinary Navy Blue tights, is there a 'ban' in place??????
M and S has upped its game and I do like to shop there now. The Monsoon sale is always worth a look, but it does reflect the huge mark up their dresses etc. Definately the time to by that evening dress.
I had a great encounter with a young sales woman for 'bellapierre' make up. She did me a face make over and I felt very good and she was interested in my grey hair - growing back nicely. She made me feel important and normal and I loved the look. www.bellapierre.com
I have been developing my look for work, Black, grey and white work really well, because I like to feel that I look professional and right when I am at work I certainly don't want to look ill.
A very good idea in this seasons Littlewood catalogue is the inclusion of a little book 'Trinny and Susannah - THE RULES -a beginners guide to better dressing. clear clever and focused advice.
I am a big fan of the Maxi Skirt ( a 1970's term making a come back) I loved them and wore them in the 70's and of course I still do. I also like to wear footless tights under my cotton ones, I wear a lot of sandals (my preference) and this combo works for me.
When I hit the beach from now on I shall have to wear a shrug to protect my left arm - this is fine since I love them, especially the light weight type with a T shirt. Littlewoods have some great colours, so they will look OK on the beach with a swimsuit.
I saw a classic fashion Fopah in the Magazine In Style on page 15 a picture of Miscah Barton in Matthew Williamson design dress in black, one shoulder style short puff ball with foot less tights and sandals (THIS WAS NOT A GOOD LOOK, IN FACT HIDEOUS.)
I also spotted a nice sleeveless black and white shift type dress in the magazine and went to seek it out at H and M in Bluewater, at £34 pounds it will make a nice spring summer staple with a dress up or dress down making possibilities endless. It will look fab with my long line Paul Costello Black Linen Jacket, which is a long standing friend. I might buy this dress.
I continue to beg you not to wear roman sandals with ties that go up the leg - Yuk.
As a rule I am against cut off trousers, but I noticed some nice Clamdiggers in denim by 'Love Label' in the Littlewoods catalogue. Will look great on the beach with kaftans or long jumpers. Tight trousers cut like this are not really for those over a size 16 and anyway should always be worn with consideration to bulges and outlines. These along with shorts should not be worn to the officer or for meetings. OH NO> I am not sizeist, but I think people need to make the best of themselves and not all fashions work on all people.
I am begining to put on weight due to the hormone treatment so I will have to watch what I WEAR. It always settles around my middle. So I shall be doing some excercise, while continuing to watch my diet re fats (a hangover from having my gall bladder removed)
The WRAP catalogue dropped through the letter box the other day as usual great items - but too expensive. I love this catalogue but only use it as my style guide. I am glad to say trouser and skirt waists are up at the waist in this seasons selections - please let this mean no more bellies on display (unless pregnant)
I am a bit of an oddball where fashion is concerned, I like a coordinated look, you know matching and toning - but I do like the daring, a statement if you like of my personal style, the inner me. This has it's place you know, but not in the workplace (unless this a funky and up beat sort of location) Dress appropriately and see your professional staus raise, you are taken seriously as a contender for the next project promotion etc. For me this is important since I have spent much of my life in uniform.
I have made a hair decision. When it has grown back just a little more, I shall keep it at the shorter length, grey looks better this way and it has opened up my face. I have had to give thought to changing my make up colour, and I will make a play on my eyes. I am comfortable with it this way and I like the look.
Time to go, have fun with clothes. Love Granny
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
THIS IS IT
I am going back to work on Wednesday 10th. Confirmed. I can't tell you how happy I am.
The last 7 or so months have been a real journey.
Love Granny
The last 7 or so months have been a real journey.
Love Granny
Saturday, January 06, 2007
HAPPY NEW YEAR
Happy New Year to everybody. I finished my treatments yesterday so for me that is the end of seven months of cancer focus. Now I want to widen my scope and I am glad to say I go back to work next Wednesday. Mick took me out for a meal to celebrate. I can expect the residual effects to last for two more weeks and I must see the consultant in 4 to 6 weeks to establish how successful the treatments have been. I cannot wait to go swimming again when the burns have gone.
On Jan 1st I was able to visit my Aunt in hospital to satisfy myself that she was being cared for. She looked so much better than I thought she would. She was up and dressed immaculately but has to have constant oxygen for her breathing. I get the impression that her tumor is quite large. She was an inspiration of positivity, she refuses to be down. She had initially refused treatment because she said she was to old and that it should be for the young. I believe they would no have offered if they had not been sure they could reduce it a little. She refuses to go to Clacton Hospital and remains in Colchester where she is happy. I know she is quite afraid of Clacton Hospital and would not get on well there. She looks so tiny and frail with a swollen face but has an indomitable spirit, she has a very able mind she remembers lots of things and 85 years old she makes most younger people look silly. I took her in a guardian angel and like me believes that our relatives who have died watch over us, I said to her that my guardian angels were my nana, my aunts and my dad - likewise she felt the same. I looked at the video I have of her when she was young (transfered from 35mm film) and the both of us together, what memories. She will stand her ground, she wants to go home with support, she will need oxygen constantly and home care. I am willing her on. I want her to be comfortable and safe.
I have kept my eye on the press - I am sorry to hear about the death of a five year old girl when bitten by her uncles dog! The dog is shot of course, but the person to blame is the owner not the dog, the dog was doing what dogs do and not trained other wise. People really need to take responsibility. However I leave you to read the stories about this owner and make your own judgements.
Yesterday the garden was alive with lots of birds, Bluetits and a coal tit amongst others. All these birds are so small and dart about all over the place. it is like HEATHROW as they get into a holding pattern waiting to land at my neighbours feeder. Mick has become aquainted with SUPER SQUIRREL who is the biggest either of us ever seen. In dominates the tree and races everywhere. Today it is raining heavily and steadily it all seems so grey.
I do hope the Green message will get through......however, when I have been travelling on the train to hospital I have noticed how little people care, throwing litter around without a thought, spitting etc I have had a lot of opportunity to observe behaviour - loud music, mobile phone conversations, feet on seats are particular hates of mine. There are little or no manners, with everybody barging about. On stairs particularly no one keeps to the keep left concept of safety, thereby blocking routes to others (much the way people drive without thinking) The trains are dirty and disgusting for the most part. So if they want people to travel on the train more, they need to up the conditions, reduce the fares, provide security on the train in the form of guards. I do not want to be intimidated when I travel and neither does anyone else.
Love for the New Year. Lets hope Peace is given a chance, it wont be of course, there is money in war. Granny
On Jan 1st I was able to visit my Aunt in hospital to satisfy myself that she was being cared for. She looked so much better than I thought she would. She was up and dressed immaculately but has to have constant oxygen for her breathing. I get the impression that her tumor is quite large. She was an inspiration of positivity, she refuses to be down. She had initially refused treatment because she said she was to old and that it should be for the young. I believe they would no have offered if they had not been sure they could reduce it a little. She refuses to go to Clacton Hospital and remains in Colchester where she is happy. I know she is quite afraid of Clacton Hospital and would not get on well there. She looks so tiny and frail with a swollen face but has an indomitable spirit, she has a very able mind she remembers lots of things and 85 years old she makes most younger people look silly. I took her in a guardian angel and like me believes that our relatives who have died watch over us, I said to her that my guardian angels were my nana, my aunts and my dad - likewise she felt the same. I looked at the video I have of her when she was young (transfered from 35mm film) and the both of us together, what memories. She will stand her ground, she wants to go home with support, she will need oxygen constantly and home care. I am willing her on. I want her to be comfortable and safe.
I have kept my eye on the press - I am sorry to hear about the death of a five year old girl when bitten by her uncles dog! The dog is shot of course, but the person to blame is the owner not the dog, the dog was doing what dogs do and not trained other wise. People really need to take responsibility. However I leave you to read the stories about this owner and make your own judgements.
Yesterday the garden was alive with lots of birds, Bluetits and a coal tit amongst others. All these birds are so small and dart about all over the place. it is like HEATHROW as they get into a holding pattern waiting to land at my neighbours feeder. Mick has become aquainted with SUPER SQUIRREL who is the biggest either of us ever seen. In dominates the tree and races everywhere. Today it is raining heavily and steadily it all seems so grey.
I do hope the Green message will get through......however, when I have been travelling on the train to hospital I have noticed how little people care, throwing litter around without a thought, spitting etc I have had a lot of opportunity to observe behaviour - loud music, mobile phone conversations, feet on seats are particular hates of mine. There are little or no manners, with everybody barging about. On stairs particularly no one keeps to the keep left concept of safety, thereby blocking routes to others (much the way people drive without thinking) The trains are dirty and disgusting for the most part. So if they want people to travel on the train more, they need to up the conditions, reduce the fares, provide security on the train in the form of guards. I do not want to be intimidated when I travel and neither does anyone else.
Love for the New Year. Lets hope Peace is given a chance, it wont be of course, there is money in war. Granny
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